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Pondering a third baby after 2 EMCSs - experiences please

(9 Posts)
HappyAsEyeAm Mon 11-Mar-13 10:01:39

mayhew of course you're right, and I just don't know. All I know is that I want to make a decision - I don't like the thought of getting older and not being able to get pregnant (I got pregnant on the first month of trying with both DSs) or letting time sort of go by and not giving it any thought and then feeling that the decision has been taken away from me. I am fortunate in that we have space at home for a third DC, DH and I are what are called 'high earners' and we could afford another child, and DH would really love to have another.

OTOH, much as I adore him, and he is fantastic company and sooooo funny, DS1 (5yo) is incredibly hard work and high maintenance (has always enjoyed huge amounts of one to one attention), and as easy a baby as DS2 (10mo) is at the moment as he sleeps so well and entertains himself a lot for his age, he is not yet on the move, which is a whole different ball game.

And as for me, I am pretty exhausted all of the time! DH works long hours, I work 3 long days a week, my family don't live nearby, I juggle everything constantly (despite having a wonderful nanny and a cleaner) and I do find it hard.

The birth of another seems insignificant, but only if it doesn't leave me with problems, as I have recovered well from both of my CSs.

mayhew Sat 09-Mar-13 18:04:19

I think you need to seperate out whether you really want a third child from its mode of delivery.

With your history, an elective cs is likely to be offered. Alternatively, a cautious VBAC could be tried if that's what you would prefer. Neither path is particularly risky.

So, third child?

Chunderella Sat 09-Mar-13 17:58:44

ELCS is a different world from EMCS. My DM had two EMCS followed by two ELCS. She was aged between 23 and 30 for all of these, so obviously somewhat younger than you, but on the other hand these were in the 80s so things have moved on since then. She wanted a VBAC for no 2 but it wasn't to be, and she was fine with that. She did get a little ill after DC3, stitches got infected and had to go back into hospital for a few days. However she thinks part of the reason for this is having done too much, and had no problems with DC4- was also much more careful of herself this time. And her consultant rearranged his holiday to be there to do the section! DM feels strongly that the two ELCS were much more positive experiences than the EMCS, both of which she was knocked out for.

HappyAsEyeAm Tue 05-Mar-13 13:36:31

Thanks for the replies. I am so unsure! I know that I need to think about it though, as I am 37 now, and obviously not getting any younger.

I think we're spoilt by DS2 being such an incredibly good baby (will entertain himself with his toys, doesn't mind being left in a room for a short time, sleeps brilliantly), and DS1 is at full time school. I think that a third baby will never be as easy a baby as DS2, and i don't know whether it would take too much out of me. DH works incredibly long hours, and I work 3 long days a week. It feels like I'm juggling a constant stream of everything already (though I know that lots of people feel like this).

I will have to give it some more thought. I just don't want to leave it too late and the decision be taken out of my hands. I want to make an active decision, one way or another.

I'm finding it quite difficult!

Beatrixpotty Tue 05-Mar-13 12:13:30

I've had 2 ELCSs and leaving another one on Monday!My boys are 3& nearly 2.After the 1st ELCS I was given the option of VBAC.Glad I didn't though because the scenario would have ended up like your 1 st EMCS due to cord around neck too.When DS2 was born I thought 2 was probably enough...especially during the first 6 months,mainly due to DS1 being a really naughty toddler though!But when things got easier we thought ,why not,especially as my DH was very keen.I'd be lying if I said I was looking forward to having a 3rd section,I wasn't really given a choice but didn't contest the decision as I saw what could have gone wrong last time...A planned section which you will get next time will be quite different to EMCS so if you & your DH would like another one ,why not give it a go!?

DoIgetastickerforthat Tue 05-Mar-13 09:58:04

After 2 EMCS your consultant will probably 'insist' on an elective c-section. I've had 4 sections and honestly the electives are far less traumatic and much easier to recover from, plus you already know what to expect which helps.

Go for it!

CrustardCream Tue 05-Mar-13 09:49:36

I think after 2x CS most hospitals will not let you have a vbac so you would probably be booked in for an elcs. I was definitely warned that would be the case when I had my second CS.

TuttiFrutti Mon 04-Mar-13 16:16:30

Why not?

There are of course lots of good reasons not to have a third child - I stopped at 2 - but I don't think fear of childbirth should be one of them. Could you not book an elcs, given your previous experiences? It would probably be your calmest and most enjoyable birth experience!

HappyAsEyeAm Mon 04-Mar-13 12:00:06

I am 37. We have 2 DSs.

DS1 is 5 yo, was breech until 38 weeks when I had an ECV to turn him. He did turn, and was born at 41 weeks. Got to 7 cm over 24 hours, and then was given an EMCS for failure to progress and foetal distress. Turns out that the cord was wrapped around his feet and neck in a figure 8 and there was no way he was coming out naturally in any event. He was 8 lb 8 oz.

DS2 is 10 mo. Tried for a VBAC and got to having 3 contractions every 7 minutes. But didn't progress beyond 3 cm as baby had turned his head to the side and got stuck. He was 9 lb 5 oz.

After the delivery, the registrar told me not to attempt another vbac if I was planning on having a third baby. I think I have her a dirty look (much to my shame as she was absolutely wonderful in every way) as the thought of having another baby at that stage was not within my wildest contemplation. I also had a herniated bowel, major lochia and major bloating and stretched skin which didn't go down for a few months after the birth (which I put down to DS2 being quite a big baby).

And yet now I find myself thinking about having a third (and final) baby. DH would love it. Our DSs are fabulous, and I feel that we could try for another.

Am I mad, given my previous experiences? Please share your experiences and thoughts with me. I can't discuss it with DH as yet, because he would be ever so excited about this being a possibility and would want to talk it to death, and I feel that little steps are the way forward for me!

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