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Visitors staying after PFB arrives

(51 Posts)
Autumn12 Tue 29-Jan-13 16:35:37

I'm probably totally overthinking this as I'm not due to give birth for 6 months yet, but it's worrying me a little already. I'm anticipating being exhausted and not wanting people around for too long.

None of our family live close to us but my family are only about an hour away. They can easily visit after our baby is born for an hour or two and then leave us in peace. However, my MIL lives at the other end of the country. When she visits us it's always for 3 or 4 nights at a time. If I'm honest this is too long for me at the best of times.

I'm anticipating that she will want to come and visit once this baby is born and I'm really dreading it. She lives too far to come for just the day, and the train fare is expensive hence why she ends up staying for 3 or 4 nights and not just the 2 I'd prefer.

I can't broach the subject with DH as he thinks it's far too early to be thinking about this stuff, but I really do not want her to come and stay overnight with us in the first few weeks after our baby is born. I must admit that I do find her quite irritating at times which may be part of the reason why I'm worrying about this. She doesn't get out of bed until midday, and whenever she stays expects to go out every single night for dinner and/or to the pub. This caused some problems the last time she stayed as I'm still at that exhausted stage of early pregnancy and also don't fancy sitting in a pub watching people drink. So we only went out to eat twice in 4 days and she was obviously put out by this.

Anyway i'm probably waffling now but can I ask how other Mumsnetters dealt with this sort of sitaution? Am I being unreasonable and should I just grit my teeth and have her to stay?

MyDarlingClementine Mon 11-Feb-13 16:27:18

when emotions are running high after a birth and you are filled with hormones, having someone who doesnt respect boundaries is the last thing you want around. HOw does your DH know you arnt going to be in hospital for a few days? You may be physcially damaged?
I don't want to scare you - but it happens!
Of course its down to you who you want around - in the immediate aftermath, you will have carried the immedite burden of pain etc literally!

another way round it is - " dear MIL, thanks so much for your kind selfless offer to come down for the birth, however Dh only has a short paternity leave i was wondering if you delayed your visit slightly, so you could help more when he isnt here.."

I do feel for you - it doesnt sound as if your DH really knows whats coming yet. Try and get him to some birth classes if you can!

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