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Labour at 36 + 5 urgent question if anyone up

(43 Posts)
timeforachangebaby Sat 01-Dec-12 05:06:08

I am due a homebirth but our hospital has a policy of not before 37 weeks.

I am fairly sure I am in early labour and I DO NOT want to go in - I have fast and intense labours and fine water soothing - there is no birthing pool, it has a terrible reputation for being short staffed and I simply don't want to be there having my baby.

If I am going to go in - I can't wait for labour to be established as if last time is anything to go by - it will too late.

Any views or experiences on home birth at this stage - I really don't see how Saturday to Tuesday could possibly make that much difference.

RooneyMara Sun 02-Dec-12 08:39:37

Ooh x posts!

I don't half ramble smile

Glad things have eased up a bit. I keep thinking I'm starting early, but so far not! Maybe third ones are as weird as everyone says they are...

RooneyMara Sun 02-Dec-12 08:38:31

I understand how you feel (even down to the ebaying - OMG I think at 35 weeks I'm packing that in, the last lot of selling was really hard work!)

We too have a hospital up the road, but you're not allowedto have a baby there any more despite it being the largest town, well the only city actually in the area. You have to drive for half an hour to give birth.

I'm on my own and no one is around to drive me, my last labour (at home - in old house) was 3.5 hours so there's unlikely to be any time to drive, in any was full on every 5, then 3 minutes from the start.

I've been having some issues this time (also third) and have low fluid and am having extra scans. MW booked me on her own advice to have a home birth but said the other week, if I have low fluid it might not be allowed.

I'm trying to get to 37 weeks as well. I had no idea till reading this that babies born at this sort of gestation can actually be in real trouble - everything else I've read has been reassuring. So it's an eye opener.

Thing is once I start labour I doubt there wil be any other option than have the baby at home or call an ambulance - which is, of course, going to be here within a minute or two as they are stationed nearby - so I'm a bit torn as to what is best.

I am totally with you on the interventions, though - our hospital where I had ds1 years ago was dreadfully understaffed and very very unhelpful in many ways, it's true, the more you allow them to do to you, the more they insist on doing thereafter, because you've entered a spiral of stuff that leads onto other stuff etc etc.

I heard that baths can slow contractions - you could try just having a lot of long hot baths between now and Tuesday!
let us know how you are getting on, baby could be OP thus the back pain. I hope he or she holds on a bit longer for you.

timeforachangebaby Sun 02-Dec-12 08:25:58

Thanks everyone - I was rough again last night - but about 4 everything stopped - I think the baby has disengaged - I feel better than I have for weeks - probably because I had 4 hours proper sleep.

I don't feel (at the moment) like birth is imminent. That sort of heavy pushy feeling has disappeared.

Only today and tomorrow to get through.

Brighter sad, about your friends baby - I don't trust the local hospital to give a good standard of care for me or the baby - that's the issue. They are short staffed and have too many patients and not enough beds - I am so close to the hospital I think we would get better care if they did have to blue light us in.

I do too much thinking and reading!.

Chunkychicken Sun 02-Dec-12 07:59:47

I just had my 2nd DC at home (3wks today) and although it doesn't really help you OP, because I was 38+6, I just wanted to say that my baby & I were monitored FAR more closely at home than I was in the local hospital with my first. This time the MW (I had 3, because 1 was due to finish her shift a couple of hrs later, but it should have been 2) repeatedly listened to DS's heart rate during contractions. I don't remember anyone listening to DD even once, despite my late arrival & them sending me to the delivery suite (rather than the MLU) due to blood in the waters.

Although I wouldn't suggest that staying at home regardless at 36+6 would be wise, I'm not sure going into hospital (especially one as poor as the OP describes) will necessarily guarantee either of them are looked after well. Fingers crossed s/he stays put for a day it 2...

brighterfuture Sun 02-Dec-12 07:39:48

Hows it going ? I understand your fears that your birth may be taken out of your hands if you go into hospital.

You have to think however of your baby who may be born pre-term.

I have a friend whose baby had severe learning difficulties as a result of a homebirth without a midwife where the baby was deprived of oxygen.

My friend's experience freaked me out so much I had all my dc in hospital. I refused all drugs, even gas and air and the injection to make the placenta come out.

I hate the way, in hospitals, that they intervene and try to take control away from the mum. I am sure my births would have been MUCH nicer for me at home but I didn't want to risk my Dc's future if they had been any problems.

I for one would give my life for my dc. and would be ready to sacrifice my ideal birth for their wellbeing. You have to ask yourself what's more important here.

The effects of a pre term homebirth birth on your baby could be long lasting, whereas you will be sacrificing a few hours of your life that won't be quite the way you'd ideally choose.

Horopu Sun 02-Dec-12 06:36:53

How are you doing timeforachangebaby

timeforachangebaby Sat 01-Dec-12 21:47:56

I have pregnancy insomnia, combined with a crappy back, which means I havent slept for about 3 months properly, and not at all last night, thats the worst part, I've knocked the Rasberry Leaf and the Evening Primrose Oil on the head until Monday though, dont want to make it come.

Only place I am comfortable is in the bath - typically, I have 45 things finishing on ebay tomorrow! So I have packaged the ones I know are going to sell just in case.

Thanks for all the sympathy, I am feeling rather sorry for myself and DH is very snappy, because obviously with me tossing and turning, he isnt getting any proper sleep either (but he wont go in spare room).

Not long to go - then its up all night breast feedinfg smile

brettgirl2 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:41:16

Its not long now. I had lots of false starts with my second and the real labour was when the pain was less lying down than standing up.

timeforachangebaby Sat 01-Dec-12 21:34:00

Ill die a death if it hangs on that long!!!!!!!!

I am OK, funnily enough the only time I have had twinges is when I feel asleep on the bed, I have a problem lying down, but then I have barely moved all day, DH has been waiting on me hand and foot and we cancelled our meal out!

I just want to hang on until Monday morning, then I will simply refuse to go in!

cbeebiesatemybrain Sat 01-Dec-12 20:11:46

How are you doing op? I was in exactly the same situation with my dc2, in the end I went to 40+12! I had a lovely homebirth in the end. I hope your little one hangs on for a bit longer (hopefully not as long as mine did though) grin

timeforachangebaby Sat 01-Dec-12 11:19:25

No no you didn't sound judgey - I'm going to have a nice bath now - I'm shattered as I didn't sleep at all last night - I will continue to hope it was a false alarm - then this afternoon I am going to get busy wrapping just in case!

I will ring midwife if it all starts again - but mangled I didn't this morning as I would prob still be stuck there waiting to be seen.

Yes it is annoying that services are so poor - my midwife was saying they consider our area to be "overstaffed".

Our surgery has a pool of 5000 people and a midwife 1 afternoon a week. I find that shocking - not overstaffed.

ticklemyboobsofsteel Sat 01-Dec-12 10:43:39

I hope things work out for you lady.

I'd planned a homebirth with a pool, but went into labour at 36+2. I really, really didn't want to go to hospital (it was on special measures) but they flat out refused to send a midwife to come and see me, as they had a cut off of 37 weeks. In the end, while unfortunately my birth experience was pretty horrendous with lots of intervention, I'm glad I went to hospital as my little man weighed only 4lb 13oz, and needed a little bit of help.

I would love a home birth, and maybe we'll go for it with our second when we decide to have him/her. Got a fully paid up birth pool for 2 weeks (we paid for it [non refundable] about a week before I had DS, such bad timing) to use. If we choose not to have a home birth next time, I guess we will just have it for us all to laze about in during my pregnancy grin

EugenesAxe Sat 01-Dec-12 10:42:02

That makes sense - sorry if I seemed judgey or anything; I was just a bit bemused. I'm cross now that your hospital is so bad it's come to this for you, or any mother.

I had a good experience on pethidine but know several women whose labour went off track because of it; it's almost like because they lost control mentally, their body shut down in response. I was quite happy to be away with the fairies and so my body carried on regardless.

Fingers crossed anyway that you make it to Tuesday and that all is well. If it's any consolation, bodies in stress don't tend to initiate labour - you will probably start on Tuesday with the relief!

NAR4 Sat 01-Dec-12 10:34:08

I hope things work out how you want.

I was told to make sure I drank plenty of water as dehydration can start early labour. Worth a try.

Best to be where you are happy and relaxed.

brettgirl2 Sat 01-Dec-12 10:32:51

Ring your midwife. Tell them what you have posted here that you are willing to go to a different hospital if it restarts.

timeforachangebaby Sat 01-Dec-12 10:28:50

I don't think tying up bath would be welcomed - I'm not even sure they have one - no birthing pool - was planning to use our bath.

I guess I am hormonal and irrational but I cannot get my head around a maternity ward that has had it's only birthing pool out of action for 3 years - apparently it has never worked - they installed it, then someone decided they were unsure the floor will take the weight of the water.

Then there are all the horror stories of under staffing, full wards, one midwife between 4/5 labouring mothers, people being sent to hospital miles and miles away because they are full (this being recent).

Based on what I have heard - I'm not so sure that we would get better care there, even if the baby does need help.

I am sitting still and praying that the contractions don't start up again until at least tomorrow night which buys me 2 days.

NAR4 Sat 01-Dec-12 10:21:21

Can you not use a bath at the hospital for pain relief? Or if you have a birthing pool, negotiate taking that in with you?

YouSeveredHead Sat 01-Dec-12 09:05:52

I totally understand op, I had fast and intense births also. I also have a friend who gave birth in the bathroom so totally get where you are coming from.

Will you know when you are there? Does your dp know what you want him to do ie when to call for a midwife or ambulance?

Jojoba1986 Sat 01-Dec-12 09:05:23

I suspect that if your baby came even a day early then they'd insist on a proper hospital check, wherever it was born. There will be lots of people who can say that their baby was born at X weeks & had different problems. Some babies are born at 40 weeks & have problems, others are born early & are fine. There's really no way of knowing which it's going to be until the baby's here. Whatever you decide to do, have confidence in your decision & trust your body to do it's job wherever you are!

Do let us know if/when things kick off again! smile

timeforachangebaby Sat 01-Dec-12 08:58:48

Eugene Is your mindset really altered that much by modest pain relief to the extent that one way you will be able to deliver and the other way your body will need help

It's more that I believe without the increased intervention of the doctor with DC1 - things would never have spiralled out of control the way they did, I am a lot more educated now though and wouldn't go along with things the same way.

timeforachangebaby Sat 01-Dec-12 08:56:06

I have had a terrible hospital birth experience which has coloured my view and I do believe that the more intervention you have the more you are likely to need - and I genuinely cannot abide our local hospital - the care we have recieved there has, in my opinion been substandard - I would not be so against going in - if it was a different hospital or even the MLU.

I already know water works for me as pain relief - pethedine does nothing (and is more likely to mean further intervention).

At the moment everything has stopped (excerpt the back ache) so hopefully it was a false alarm.

I am really torn - I don't want a repeat of my first birth but giving birth home alone with no midwife was terrifying (and cord was round babies neck twice) and I have no desire to repeat that - although clearly as births go it was easy (so easy I didn't even realise it was happening).

I don't want to risk the baby though so if the pains start up again I will ring them for advice.

MustafaCake Sat 01-Dec-12 08:51:03

I hope things have stopped for you and you get to 37 weeks so you can have the birth you want.

TBH I would go in to hospital because I am one of those people who blindly trusts the medical professionals and if they say it is better for a pre-37 weeker to be born in hospital then I will go with that. I realise that some people are not as sheep-like as me though!

I had DS2 at 36+0 (1 hour from first twinge to delivery) and was bloody glad we made it to hospital as 3 hrs after delivery he was struggling to breathe and in intensive care for days. The Dr said the combination of premature baby lungs and the very quick delivery meant there was loads of gunk in his lungs that he could not shift.

May be worth going in, if you deliver quickly you can check straight out again!

Good luck x

EugenesAxe Sat 01-Dec-12 08:42:11

I know what you mean about it being a matter of days, but could you live with your decision if something did go wrong? If your baby wasn't breathing even five or so minutes could make a difference.

I'm a bit surprised by your comment about water and intervention. Is your mindset really altered that much by modest pain relief to the extent that one way you will be able to deliver and the other way your body will need help? Your quandary to me seems to be about your birth experience, and while that is of course very important, I expect the 37 week rule is there to protect your baby.

Sokmonsta Sat 01-Dec-12 08:41:25

My 36+5 twins needed 4&5 days nicu. Blood sugar and temp control issues. In this weather I wouldn't risk the latter as it severely hampered their feeding and we had to stay 13 days.

alibobins Sat 01-Dec-12 08:08:36

Have a lovely sofa day smile
Ds2 is my dc3 and a totally different labour ds1 was born in just over 30mins but ds2 was stopping and starting and generally being a pain. The hospital said 3rd labours often stop and start and they get alt of false alarms.

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