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Pregnant with #2 and just started thinking back to DDs birth

(8 Posts)
inadreamworld Fri 23-Nov-12 11:43:45

I was also induced at 40 + 8 as waters started leaking and labour didn't start naturally. I didn't have such a terrible time as you (poor thing and thank God your little one OK) but it was a bit grim and would hope it will be easier next time. I am expecting baby 2 early in Jan and hoping to avoid induction and epidural as they made me feel rubbish and also lost a lot of blood after the birth. Also had the monitor on DDs head though they said she was Ok all along and didn't need forceps/assisted delivery - pessary and drip worked quite quickly and labour 12 hours which they thought was good for an induction.

ShushBaby Wed 21-Nov-12 13:57:39

My first birth was a bit of a mission: induction, 16 hour labour, needed a hormone drip and monitoring, retained placenta and pph. Not traumatic as such but not ideal.

With dc2 I asked to debrief first birth with a senior mw. This was useful and helped me to realise what had happened and why. I also discovered that things that had seem serious at the time were not so bad- eg post partum haemorrhage was quite minor.

I was clear on a couple of things this time round: I did not want to be induced unless medically necessary, and if poss wanted to use the midwife-led birth centre in the hospital. The latter I had to push for given history- but after discussing with head of birth centre I was allowed to.

As it happened, I went into labour at 39 weeks, had quick easy labour and beautiful water birth in birth centre. It was the most amazing empowering experience. That was 16 days ago and I feel like I'd do it again tomorrow. Recovery has been super fast and it is just all so different/easier second time round.

Do talk to your midwives and arrange to meet senior midwives if necessary, both to discuss your first birth and plan for your second. Even the act of talking/planning can be helpful.

Best of luck!

JeffActually Sun 18-Nov-12 22:59:34

Thank you so much for the replies.

mmmmmchocolate - Thank you for your story I shall go and search out the full version - its good to know that I am not alone - and your second birth sounds like a walk in the park grin!
DD was back to back at 36 weeks and a temp mw (I don't do well with temp mw's!) said to me at my appt 'Ooo it's back to back - thats the last thing you want to hear when you're in labour'.
Hmmmm, thanks for that! I went into a bit of a panic until I spoke to a friend who advised me to do lots of on all fours rocking. So I managed to turn her round the right way by the time I was 40 weeks .
Unfortunately she had other ideas and spun around again before she came out.
I will do everything I can to ensure that this one is upright!

The other thing I keep thinking about is was I REALLY stupid not to have had drugs, I was adamant that I was only going to have gas and air and thats all I had.
Its ridiculous - I was 35 and I just thought that was what labour was like and that loads of people do it without any drugs so I should be able to cope. It wasn't until after that the Dr said I can't believe you did that without drugs that it oocured to me I had been a bit daft. I had been offered pethadine once very early on, probably mid afternoon before I started on the gas and air and had refused.

mmmmmchocolate Sun 18-Nov-12 22:38:53

I can relate so much to your post. My first birth was very similar. I was induced, had awful, uncontrolible back contractions that didn't stop. A dropping heart rate and an army of people staring into my nether regions! If you search for a thread I started sometime in early 2010 I was so terrified of giving birth and had really bad anxiety issues. The only difference is my DD had high agpars at birth.

But number 2 was a doddle- like people said it would be. I went into labour on my own, laboured mainly at home (I was still a week past my due date) and gave birth an hour and half after getting to hospital and had only gas and air for about 6 contractions before I began pushing without any pain relief.

One think I did make sure of was that Dd2 was not back to back. I didn't slouch in sofas or lie on my back. I sat upright or on all fours duri g the last weeks of pregnancy.

You could go and see your doctor if it's really causing you problems. Good luck and remember that you got through that so you can get through this which will most likely be much much easier!

VisualiseAHorse Sun 18-Nov-12 22:32:30

I think that you shouldn't base what is 'normal' on OBEM. And like yellow says, it actually irrelevant whether you thought it was normal or not. I would say mine was a 'normal' labour and delivery. Didn't stop me ending up with severe PND and psychosis, and being severely traumatised because of it.

It does sound like a scary experience, and I'm not surprised you're thinking about it again! I would second getting a de-brief.

JeffActually Sun 18-Nov-12 22:28:41

Thanks Yellow - it hadn't even occured to me that we could go through the notes. I am just waiting for my new community MW to start as currently we have a temp MW who has retired three times and is as mad as a box of frogs. But thank you, as soon as she starts I'll have a word.

yellowsubmarine53 Sun 18-Nov-12 22:24:48

That sounds very scary and it's not surprising that it's at the front of your mind with another birth coming up.

It's irrelevant whether your experience is 'normal' or not; the important thing is how it's left you feeling physically and mentally and what sort of support you need to manage this pregnancy and birth.

Several people I know have had a 'birth debrief' about their 1st birth during a subsequent pregnancy; a senior midwife has gone through their notes with them and answered any questions or concerns they have.

Do you think this would help? Ask your midwife, if so.

JeffActually Sun 18-Nov-12 22:16:19

I need to apologise to start with, having just read this back and it is a bit of a long one! I have found it quite cathartic writing it all down - so well done if you get through it and your positive experiences of birth would be most appreciated smile

You know when you watch programmes like OBEM and you think THAT is what labour/birth is going to be like. You and your DH in a room - a bit of huffing and puffing and maybe a bit of screaming and then at the end a midwife pops in, pulls a baby out of your fanjo and you get to give your new DC a lovely cuddle.

I went to 40+15 with DD - I disagreed with the dates as I knew when we had conceived, so at the point where I was induced I knew I was only 40+8.

We decided that we would go into be induced as suggested by the MW at 40+14 - after pushing it back three days as the MW wanted me to go in at 40+11.

When I gave birth 22 hours after being given the first dose of induction gel, there were 10 medical staff in the delivery suite with us.

I hadn't really though about it until now - it is only now that I am pregnant with #2 that I am beginning to think back to that day. Now, I know this sounds ridiculous but I have only just realised that that is not at all normal!

I had my first dose of gel at 11pm - and then left to go to sleep, nothing happened overnight but then soon after the 2nd dose of gel at 9am I started having contractions. They were very very painful straight away.

Very quickly I was having back to back contractions, as soon as one died down another would come and I was in constant pain.

The MW suggested I had a bath, so they filled the very large bath and left me and DH to it, the contractions did not die down - I spent probably 20 minutes in the bath, which in hindsight I think was too deep and too hot, and I was in agony. When it came to trying to get out my DH literally had to lift me out as I had no control over myself.

We went back to the room and the MW popped along and looked at my readings from the monitor and said "Well, my love, what we are looking for is two to three contractions every ten minutes with a bit of a break in between"...which wasn't particularly helpful as that wasn't what my body felt like doing. I am, to this day, not entirely sure why she said it - it was almost as if she was telling me off for not being normal!

By 6pm we had another changeover of staff and a lovely MW came in had a quick fiddle and said I was 6cm and off we popped to the delivery suite.

I really wanted to be on all fours as it was a little more comfy that way but baby had different ideas and was back to back by this point so they were finding it difficult tracking her heartbeat, I ended up on my back and then they realised that everytime I had a contraction my babies heartbeat slowed dramatically.

To be honest I am a bit blurry about what happened over the next hour gas and air is great isn't it but I remember a bit of panic and a consultant who was meant to be delivering twins down the hall was called in.

He had a good old look and said that they were concerned about babies heartrate and they could take blood from her head to find out what her oxygen levels were like - but we would have to wait 30 minutes for the results of that. I am not sure what my face did, but he looked scared grin and seconds later he said right lets get that baby out then. He asked if we were okay with forceps being used and if I would consent to an episiotomy. Both of which I agreed to.

Within 5 minutes DD was born - she was not in a good way when she was pulled out - scoring 3 on the old APGAR, she had swallowed meconium and was not quite the right colour, but within 5 minutes was fine and healthy and DH got to cuddle her while I was stitched up.

I am so unbelieveably grateful for everything all those 10 people did, and also feel very sorry for the poor lady having twins down the hallway as the doctor literally had to be shouted at to leave me to go back to her.

I know that the outcome was a beautiful, healthy little girl, but I am beginning to have little panics whenever I think about giving birth to #2.

It isn't normal is it, having 10 medical staff present, most people give birth with just a midwife or two?

Thank you if you have got this far, and please tell me that this second one is just going to pop out around it's due date, if not before, it will be the right bloody way up (not back to back) and labour will be a doddle grin

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