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Anyone freaking out about giving birth

(21 Posts)
Jas29 Sat 27-Oct-12 20:25:07

Hi all, this is my first post ever
I am 7 months n starting to freak out at the thought of childbirth.
I just don't know how I'm going to,tho people keep saying, I will,don't worry.etc etc.
I actual have nightmares over it n know no amount of organisation will stop me panicking
I am a high risk pregnancy due to previous health issues,have been through a lot of physical pain, but still dreading this?!
Am I odd?

BoysBoysBoysAndMe Sat 27-Oct-12 20:45:59

Congratulations on your pg grin

Not odd at all. Completely normal in fact. I'm currently panicking as baby is due next Thursday, I've been through labour twice already and know what to expect!!

However, get informed, have you tried hypno birthing? I haven't, but its supposed to be really good.

What I can tell you is yes, cb is incredibly painful, sometimes long, but you can get lots of help and support. And it can't be that bad or women wouldn't do it again and again!

With your previous issues is your labour going to be more managed? What's your birth plan at the moment?

Jas29 Sun 28-Oct-12 01:27:53

Yes someone I know bought me a hypnobirthing DVD, I've still got to watch it!
Yes ur right,ppl wouldn't keep going through it.
I know the baby has got to come out one way or the other!!!!
I haven't done a birth plan yet but prob should
My care is the same, once I go into hospital, I'm flagged up as high risk and the staff n on call doc r made aware just in case.
My husband is great,I'm worried about him though as he's squeamish!he can't even watch when I've had a cannula put in!

NapOfTheDamned Sun 28-Oct-12 01:34:47

Do you find you get less anxious if you have lots of information?
Or does that make you panic?
What is it that you are especially anxious about? Remember,mfeeling anxious about birth is quite normal...

Are there any birth classes, NCT groups, yoga classes, NHS tours of delivery wards with midwife talks you could attend?

Perhaps talk to your midwife or GP?

Would you like some book or website recommends? Would googling positive birth stories help? Baby centre has some nice ones, or you cold use the search function on this site...

Jojoba1986 Sun 28-Oct-12 01:44:30

I found reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth gave me a lot of confidence in my body's abilities. She's a little hippy-ish in places for my uber-conservative tastes but it worked for me! I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant having had a really easy experience last time & already freaking out wondering how on earth it happened last time! hmm

Try not to dwell on it is the best advice I can offer! wink

Diamond7 Sun 28-Oct-12 01:24:41

Second jojoba! Ina mays guide. Really helped me believe that this is what we are designed for. I also recommend the Maggie Howell natal hypnotherapy birth prep book and cd.

We have to trust our bodies!

Diamond7 Sun 28-Oct-12 01:25:12

Second jojoba! Ina mays guide. Really helped me believe that this is what we are designed for. I also recommend the Maggie Howell natal hypnotherapy birth prep book and cd.

We have to trust our bodies!

Diamond7 Sun 28-Oct-12 01:26:18

My post has appeared in the wrong order due to the clocks!

greenbananas Sun 28-Oct-12 07:29:57

My second baby is due in 9 days and I am trying not to think about it! I just want to send you my support.

You're not odd, this sounds completely normal to me. Of course it is natural to worry. Lots of women have great birth experiences but, then again, giving birth can be mighty painful (and anybody who tells you otherwise is either lying or has forgotten! - after the birth, we tend to forget almost immediately how awful it was because we are so wrapped up in our gorgeous new babies).

Some of the women who worry the most actually find that they cope really well during delivery. Still, there comes a point in many women's labours when they say "I can't do this any more / I am going home" and, at that point, the midwives smile to each other because it is a generally a sign that the baby is imminent and everything is going well.

Your body is 'designed' to do this, despite your high-risk pregnancy. Yes it hurts, but lots of us have been there and can tell you that it is worth every second. Labour pains are strong but very different to the kind of pain that you have already been through - I think we have some sort of inbuilt way of dealing with labour pains or, as BoysBoysBoys says, we wouldn't keep on choosing to do this again and again.

Jojoba is right in telling you not to dwell on it but of course, if you are having nightmares, this might be difficult to control. There is every chance you will be fine, and that all this worry will seem ridiculous to you in three month's time.

DitaVonCheese Sun 28-Oct-12 07:43:57

You're not odd at all, we get so many negative messages about childbirth sad I also love Ina May's Guide and have found this site recently though not explored it properly yet: Tell me a good birth story

Can also really recommend Lazy Daisy classes if you have them near you - they combine elements of hypnobirthing with some active birth education as well, I did them when I was pregnant with my second baby and loved them.

FWIW my first birth was fine and my second was amazing grin

greenbananas Sun 28-Oct-12 08:27:51

I hope I didn't sound negative in my last post - just read it through and I think I should have focussed more on the fact that you WILL be okay and also that you will have a lovely baby to cuddle and hold very soon now...

Diamond7 Sun 28-Oct-12 08:46:51

I thought your last post was great green bananas!

DitaVonCheese Sun 28-Oct-12 09:06:11

I think your post was very balanced, GB smile though I don't think you can say that anyone who says labour was pain-free is lying or wrong, that genuinely is some people's experience and we shouldn't try to take away from that.

As I mentioned above, my first labour was fine - 8 hours in total, got to hospital at 8 cm dilated. The second stage was pretty horrible but then I was pushing flat on my back (so against gravity) for 90 minutes.

For my second labour I had a home birth (was booked in for one with my first but had to go in due to lack of midwives sad) and it was just fantastic. First stage was painful but manageable, the only point I felt panicked and like I couldn't cope was, as you mentioned GB, transition, when your body releases a shot of adrenalin and makes you feel a bit anxious. Second stage was about 15 minutes on hands and knees in the birth pool and was genuinely pain free smile

EdsRedeemingQualities Sun 28-Oct-12 09:22:25

Oh you poor thing OP - I'm sure it will be Ok though.

It's normal to be worried or scared or both. Funnily enough, I was very complacent before I had ds1 - I thought, well, I don't know how bad it might be, I don't know how well I will cope with it. I was confident.

and it was easy - 8 hours, epidural. didn't like being in hospital but otherwise, it was Ok.

Ds2 I was also confident, having done it before. However it bloody hurt that time as I was at home and didn't have any drugs!

This time I am actually quite freaked. I'm due in a couple of months and because I know how much it hurt last time, I'm pretty scared about doing it again. But it might be easier...who knows. Ds2 turned so he was back to back, for the last half hour, and I think if this one is the right way round he will probably slip out far quicker (so midwifes say)

Good luck, it'll be an interesting experience whatever happens, and it won't last more than a few hours probably - which I think helps put it into perspective xx

mameulah Sun 28-Oct-12 11:52:33

I am 37 +5 and I have been doing my best not to think about it too. This time last year I had a missed miscarriage and had to endure a 'procedure' to remove what I had thought was our growing baby. I know that labour will be more physically uncomfortable than that but this time I hope we will be going home with our baby.

I don't at all mean this in a patronising way but I am trying to focus on how having a baby will ultimately be so much less painful than the thought of not being able to have one.

Dogsmom Sun 28-Oct-12 16:29:06

I'm terrified too, so much so I think it's an actual phobia and not just nerves, it's no coincidence that I'm in my late 30's and on my first, it's taken years to even get to the stage where I could consider conceiving.

I'm definitely burying my head in the sand, I don't want to attend classes, read books, watch videos etc because it'll make me panic even more, I know what's involved and plan to ask for as many drugs as possible and trust my body.
I asked a friend the other day what it's like and she said that yes it hurts but nowhere near as bad as a lot of women say, people like to share their horror stories and the ones who found it ok don't tend to write posts about it.

There was a thread on here a few days ago asking for positive first time birth stories and quite a few women answered, it was refreshing to read.

ballroomblitz Mon 29-Oct-12 00:10:34

What really helped me before was looking at childbirth as an experience and a test of how I would cope physically and emotionally. Something you may only do once in your life and I got to the stage I kind of looked forward to it to see how I would do. I'd previously had a csection without a labour pain, and was a high risk pregnancy too, so it was all new to me.

I read hynobirthing and birth skills when I was pregnant but didn't use either. You know what, it wasn't that bad. Yes it hurts but it's a managable pain and only at a contraction. In between contractions at the start I wondered if I was imagining it as it doesn't hurt at all. As greenbananas said the only bit I thought I couldn't do it was heading towards the end - and the midwife smiled and said she knew I was coming up to pushing stage.

It was exactly four weeks ago now I was in labour and I would do it all again in a heartbeat and in some weird way enjoyed it. The most empowering, amazing thing I've ever done. Holding your little, snuggly baby at the end and knowing you did that, is pretty damn good too grin

DitaVonCheese Mon 29-Oct-12 02:00:53

That post needs a "Like" button, ballroom smile

ballroomblitz Mon 29-Oct-12 03:18:55

Thanks Dita and you too seem to have had a good experience. It does annoy me that so much negativity is portrayed about childbirth. Between the horror stories of friends and the media etc no wonder women get scared.

Honestly op it's not only a manageable pain, but a working pain with a finish line. A toothache with no idea of end is worse.

Notafoodbabyanymore Mon 29-Oct-12 09:49:59

I would just like to add my best wishes, and say that the best advice I can give is to stay open minded. Our bodies are amazing, and you can do it, but if you need pain relief, have it. Stay positive, and be prepared to be flexible. No two births are the same and however your baby arrives will be your story.

I'm not saying this to be negative at all, just my experience was that I expected an easy, quick labour, but due to baby's position ended up with a long labour followed by an EMCS. I had such a clear idea of how I thought the birth would go, and hadn't considered any alternatives, so was very taken aback when it didn't happen that way.

This time around, I'm more chilled about it. I'll try for a VBAC, but if it doesn't happen, I'll have another section. Recovery was fine first time around, I'm just more open minded with this pregnancy.

The birth is just the first step in the long journey of challenging and wonderful moments called being a mum!

Good luck.


Ushy Mon 29-Oct-12 11:18:52

Good luck too!

I am not into Ina May camp following a traumatic 'natural' birth so I had an epidural early in labour for the next of my children. I insisted on it being kept in place and topped up throughout labour and delivery. (Insist meant insist, they were not happy at first).

I could have read the paper throughout - we just chatted and laughed and joked.

Tip though - give birth upright with epidurals - you can't push on your back.

Totally uncomplicated delivery and very happy event. Three cheers for 21st century medical advances!

Hope that cheers you up!

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