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I feel anxious and unprepared - dc3

(15 Posts)
Fisharefriendsnotfood Mon 15-Oct-12 13:20:27

I'm not sure what anyone can say but I'm writing this so that it might make more sense to me iykwim..

I'm 38 weeks tomorrow on much wanted dc3. Dd is 4.5 and just started reception, ds is 2.9 and in nursery 2 mornings and I'm a sahm.

I've suffered really badly with this pregnancy. I have a bad back and bladder prolapse since delivering dc1 and 2.. They were both big babies at 9lb 15 and 10lb 6, and added to that have chronic spd, leg cramps most nights, acid indigestion, and heartburn.

I'm in so much pain/ discomfort I don't know what to do with myself. Everyday is just survival. I have been offered a section at 39 weeks as this baby measuring off the charts, I'm 38 weeks tomorrow.

I feel so anxious re section and just feel ill at ease generally. I can't get organised enough and can't really get excited about the baby coming cause there is so much else going on..

weezl74 Mon 15-Oct-12 13:51:47

hugs. am also expecting dc3 in a week.. i really agree that with older dcs it is much harder to look forward to or prep for baby.

i think you will though smile

just wanted to say you aren't alone.

Fisharefriendsnotfood Mon 15-Oct-12 14:03:32

Thanks weez smile

Good luck to you

bonzo77 Mon 15-Oct-12 14:07:10

Are you having an elective section? All my friends who have had electives report a very calm, quick and pain free delivery and relatively short recovery times. Most driving after 2 weeks. Obviously there is the difficulty of looking after your older DCs. Do you have support? Could you pay for more?

tiredteddy Mon 15-Oct-12 14:09:38

Have you decided to have the c section? Do you have family/ friends around to help with school run and nursery? I'm due dc3 in jan but with dcs much older at 8 &5. Still feel there's no time to prepare though. Thinking of you.

Fisharefriendsnotfood Mon 15-Oct-12 14:20:41

I haven't decided fully on the section, but think I will book it in and hope and pray I go myself first but that's unlikely as I went over on dc1 and 2. I'm so afraid of the baby getting stuck, or of more damage being done to my back / prolapse. They are estimating baby could be as big as 12 lbs on due date..

I have help for three weeks after what would be section date, with dh having week off, then MIL then DM. Also, have a cleaner to help round the house. I probably seem a bit spoilt.. I'm not I swear. I just feel so so rotten and feel like Im not doing enough for anyone at the moment..

weezl74 Mon 15-Oct-12 14:22:31

fisharefriends there's a really friendly thread in the pregnancy bit of mumsnet about the last couple of weeks of pregnancy, with quite a few went sharing feelings of fear and being ill-prepared. come on over for a bit of hand-holding if you fancy smile (i would link but my phone is pants!)

tiredteddy Mon 15-Oct-12 14:23:20

Well the help set up sounds good and like the previous poster said the recovery from a section should be pretty straight forward. I feel overwhelmed this time without the health issues you have. Go easy on yourself. In just over a week things will actually be easier.

claudedebussy Mon 15-Oct-12 14:26:07

those last couple of weeks are so awful that i don't think anything feels achievable.

i do think the section sounds like a good idea though, and if they're recommending it...

once that baby is out though, you'll feel a whole lot better. good to have the 3 weeks back up too.

hang in there. you're not alone.

i've got 3 dc's and it's lovely and i love having them all. just remember that this is the most difficult time, you're at the top of the hill and it just gets easier from here on.


Fisharefriendsnotfood Mon 15-Oct-12 14:34:21

Oh now you've made me cry blush

Thanks everyone smile

Brockle Mon 15-Oct-12 15:13:02

I really sympathise, I am 35 weeks with DC3 and this has been the hardest pregnancy of all with PGP and now the baby is breach so a poss c section in four weeks. My Dad said that the first time he saw me looking really well and glowing was last Friday! This is the hardest part and then you can move on and enjoy your baby. That is what I keep telling myself. You are not alone smile

Fisharefriendsnotfood Mon 15-Oct-12 16:45:56

Thanks. The local labour ward is heaving the last 6 weeks too. I know 2 people, one was 19 days OD waiting for a bed and another is in 4 days waiting on an elcs. Another worry

ICompletelyKnowAboutGuineaPigs Mon 15-Oct-12 17:41:32

I had an elcs with DC2 and it was a very dignified affair. I am also pregnant with DC3 and it is already a very different experience of being pregnant with no DCs (remember that hmm ) and even with just one. My DS is in yr1 and DD is 3 in December - she'll be starting pre-school in January so when I have the baby I'll be in a similar situation.

Whilst I am planning on a VBAC this time round I know that an ELCS wouldn't be the end of the world. Mine was very straightforward and calm and the recovery was quick - I was driving again in 2 weeks. The first few days are really hard, especially with older DCs who you can't pick up, and stairs are tricky - but it sounds like you will have plenty of support and the children seem old enough to understand that you won't be able to do as much (though it sounds as though you are struggling already).

One thing I would say is decide one way or another about the elcs because I thought the same as it and hope I gon into spontaneous natural labour. Obviously this didn't happen and I did feel disappointed (even though the cs was a positive experience overall). I think if I had just decided to have an elcs (following medical advice) and wholeheartedly committed to this course of action I would have felt better emotionally about the whole process.

Whatever you decide just keep in mind that 'this too will pass' (FAR easier said than done I know, I was a wreck with DD!) and sooner rather than later you will have your baby in your arms and that's the main thing - plus babies don't need a whole lot so try not to stress about the lack of preparation. Good luck.

Fisharefriendsnotfood Mon 15-Oct-12 21:44:58

Thank you smile

It's just so different to the last two times, and I can't shake this anxious feeling which really isn't like me at all. Have consultant apt on thurs morning so hope to feel more in control then smile

elizaregina Tue 16-Oct-12 09:42:00

Hi Fish

I feel same as you, I have felt very very postive and excited about this pregnancy with DC2, ist pregnany for outside reasons was totally fraught and horrid with one thing after another.

This one has been bliss until 10 days ago when a really really nasty problem reared its head and i am 37 weeks! Suddenly I am wondering how I will cope and cant shake off all the negative things about having a new born, rather than the good stuff!

I am also having an ELC and terrified about it! I felt totally prepared for it and now am so worried.

What has helped was buying a random pregnancy book, just reading and re freshing about babies etc has helped me ...plug back the more posivtive things...

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