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So i just got a letter to see my consultant!

(14 Posts)
xmasevebundle Thu 04-Oct-12 12:10:53

I got a letter today which was very quick(i asked tuesday if i could have an appointment to see one)

November the 6th, i will be 33w pg.

I want a c-section, its my first and im 19. I did a previous post about this and really doubting it i should kick up a fuss.

Many reasons for the section.

Pain, feel like something is going to happen to DS during labour(e.g cord around his neck), not be able to push him out(he weighs 3lb and im 28+4) he is a big baby. Its fear of the unknown, i really do want a c-section. I panic about this and labour at least once a day.

I have a feeling they will just say a very blunt no but if i want one sure im in my rights?

I do no the pros and cons of a c-section, they give you all the good stuff about VB but not the bad?

Im not saying should i turn the water works on, because if they say no i will end up breaking down anyway. I have wanted a c-section since i was 16w!

fuckwittery Thu 04-Oct-12 12:14:42

Ooh, goodness love, I am not going to criticise because you're clearly very scared of labour. You should expect to be given the pros and cons. If you've posted a previous thread you'll know some of that. The consultant might not be prepared to give you an answer either way and may want you to come back so prepare for that too?
I would recommend hypnobirthing either way or some relaxation classes, the breathing and relaxation techniques can be used in c-section (its not painfree!!) and in labour if you end up labouring, and might help you with some of your fear. Good luck.

fuckwittery Thu 04-Oct-12 12:16:08

Can I just ask though, would it be helpful for you to list the pros and cons of c section and VB here as you see it, to go through those with the consultant ? Also women here will have lots of comments but everyone's experience is different, but might add to your possible pros/cons if you see what I mean?

xmasevebundle Thu 04-Oct-12 12:40:03

The pros for a c-section, it will be done a set date/time so i will be in control(of some sort)

It will quick as not painful during the c-section.

I wont be scared of anything happening as the dr or person perfoming the section will be very in control and know what they are doing.

Thats what i have put so far, i dont want to write any old 'shit'

Bad- In pain afterwards(but i dont think id be that bothered)

Scar which dont bother me either.

Not being able to do as much as i could if a had a VB.

Could end up infected, or the c-section could go wrong.

Being alone isnt much of a worry as i live with my mum and dad.

Vb-pros. Wont get as much pain as a c-section.

Be able to be more mobile.

I dont see much pros for a VB.

Cons- Tearing, baby dying(e.g the cord) baby in stress as i cant push him out.

Long labour over 12 is long in my eyes!

Those are my reasons so far, its not a cop out nor a i want him to come early(hes due christmas eve) he will end up being over due!

I have had a dream for at least a month, im in labour and i push him out and there is a cord around his neck and hes blue and cold i pick him up and i start to crying.

I have told my MW about this, she said its nothing and pretty 'normal'hmm

Sure its something if im fearful now, dreaming about it there is something wrong!

fuckwittery Thu 04-Oct-12 13:42:25

Can I add some comments on my knowledge/experience without dismissing what you've written? I hope writing it down is helpful for the consultant appt.

Pros for VB
IF it goes well, being able to be up and about straight away. It's good for the baby to be pushed out, c-section babies can be a bit grunty and struggle with breathing. If baby gets stressed, you will be in hosp can have c-section very quickly, can have more monitoring.

Cons for c-section
The recovery is a massive difference!
Great that you have mum and dad support at home but you won't in hospital, and not being able to sit up to pick up your baby is very difficult when the MWs are overstaffed - it is very painful afterwards (or it was for me, I do know women who recovered better than me).

I've never had a vb so sure someone will come along to add.

Re con of baby dying - this happens in c-section too love, more risk of you both dying as far as I know as it's a major op.

Dream is awful poor you sad

xmasevebundle Thu 04-Oct-12 14:41:48

I feel even more sad I just dont want anything to happen to him, want to him to be here safe.

I think VB is the best option but not for me.

I dont know if just paranoid about it all but its sure stressing me out!

I do agree with everyone saying its painful after, i can only think of what its like.

Thats another having the VB and then having an emergancy c-section which takes 30 mins. An elec takes 30-45.

I will add good and bad points for VB and C-section.

charlienash25 Thu 04-Oct-12 15:03:35

I think the best thing for you to do would be to speak to the consultant about your fears and they can go through everything with you. I have had an emergency c-section and a VB. I would a million times over have a VB again rather than a c-section as my recovery was (although normal) painful. It hurt to cough, sneeze, wee, go for a poo (tmi) and it took me about 3 weeks before i stopped walking like someone who could have done with a zimmer frame. I was in hospital for 3 days afterwards, which is normal procedure, but it brought on PND as I hate hate hate hospitals and ended up just crying 24/7 whilst there!

My VB I had my DD at 12.45 in the morning and was out by 12 lunch time. Ok i was a bit sore for a few days but I didnt feel like I had been through the mill as much.

Everyone has the dreams and fear of whats going to happen during labour. Im 32 weeks and sh!tting my pants even though this is my 3rd. The risks of having a c-section are just as bad as having a VB.

schroedingersdodo Thu 04-Oct-12 17:45:41

If you are in that much panic, I think you need at least a lot of psychological support. Ask for counselling, to see the supervisor of midwives, everything.

I don't know if you're going to get your CS in the end, but you can't go into labour in this estate. Make a fuss, please.

oscarwilde Thu 04-Oct-12 18:16:50

Not much to add - I've only had a CS and I'm trying to decide what to do with No 2 now. It doesn't get any easier trying to weigh up the pro's and con's.
19 is v young imo but your rate of recovery is likely to be SOOOO much faster than those of us on here in our late 30's.
Definitely go and see the consultant but prepare and do lots of research and ask questions. You will be more credible if you have clearly thought through all the risks
You should also research VBAC risks - if you have a CS now through choice rather than necessity it will impact your choices and risks for more children later. You never know - you might want 4 kids one day smile
Ask your midwife if she can put you in contact with other young mums to be in your area. It might be really helpful for you to meet some who have recently given birth too to talk about their experiences of both CS and VB.
Try not to watch too much telly - it's on there because it is nice and dramatic. Normal stress free labours aren't v exciting tv.
Think about other solutions to manage your pain and risk of complications to the baby - you could ask for continuous monitoring (an electronic belt) during labour so that if there is any change in the baby's heartbeat it will be known immediately. They can easily do this.
You could ask for counselling and a pre-agreed birth plan so that you will receive an epidural or other pain relief at a certain point without question
You could go down the road of a VB on the basis that if the baby is not in an optimum wrong position when you go into labour and it seems likely that you will have a v long labour, that you your request for a CS is granted then.
It is major surgery and it feels like you have been kicked in the stomach for about 4 weeks. You will also have a scar and probably a funny roll of fat above it. Much higher chance of having a normal stomach again with a VB especially at your age grin

LivingThings Thu 04-Oct-12 21:15:00

Think others are right that you should be clear on the pros and cons of CS - do some Google research - there is some good information out there if you look hard enough and ignore obvious scaremongering.

Remember that even if your consultant refuses you have the right to a second opinion so insist he/she refers you to another consultant.

I had ELCS for both mine by choice and although I am slightly (OK a lot!) older than you I had to talk me reasoning through with consultant and seek second opinion before ELCS was granted for #1.

FriendofDorothy Thu 04-Oct-12 21:34:24

I think being scared about giving birth is normal. It does sound like you are over-anxious though and should have a more in-depth conversation with your midwife. Have you done any ante-natal classes yet? We did one last night about the whole process of giving birth and I found it really helpful.

booboobeedoo Thu 04-Oct-12 22:01:56

I have had 3 CS with very very easy recoveries and would be very overwhelmed by the uncertainties of a 'normal' vaginal birth. However, one 'con' of a csection which you haven't mentioned is the possibility of respiratory distress on the baby. My DS was extremely poorly with this (ventilated for 2 weeks in NICU) and I would counsel weighing up that against your other concerns.

xmasevebundle Fri 05-Oct-12 10:49:48

My MW aren't the best! I have been thinking about both and tbh im shitting it either way.

No i haven't done any ante-natal classes yet. I am going to a mums group which i think they will talk about birth there etc.

I over think things, seems a lot worse. I have spoken to my mum whos had 5 DC and other people. All births are different i could have him within 3 hours or 30.

I had a scare a few weeks ago at 24+6 they thought i was prem labour, but it was a series water infection. I shit myself, i had a panic attack, the MW was very calming and nice, saying it would be okay, i thought he was going die or be born with something wrong with him. The doctor/consultant(he was a very high doctor) said he will come early, between now and 37 weeks.

So now at 28w i have everything ready and i'm waiting.

Having him being born so early makes me think he will die, maybe i need to talk to someonesad

saintlyjimjams Fri 05-Oct-12 10:56:13

I think you need some counselling tbh because the fear of the baby dying is (ime) worse after they're born and you may need some help now to prevent your thoughts being out of control. I know during my first pregnancy I kept saying i would be pleased once ds1 arrived and I knew everything was fine, then was staggered how worried I was about him once he was born. I remember my mum saying 'now your worries begin' which was sort of true really. Please not I am not an anxious person, but I think if you are it would be worth talking to someone.

I had 3 sections, the elective (2nd) section was awful to the point where I wanted to trial labour after 2 sections for my third. I was terrified about another section. Anyway I trialled labour, it didn't work and I ended up with a section which was ..... absolutely fine! I suppose I'm saying we don't always necessarily predict how we will feel

Another negative of sections is that it might put a limit on how many children you can have. A first section is rarely problematic, but subsequent ones are more likely to be.

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