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How do I get past this?

(5 Posts)
MrsHelsBels74 Sun 23-Sep-12 21:41:58

Had planned a home water birth, went into labour on Wednesday night, long story but the upshot was I needed a crash C-section & my son needed a lot of rescusitation before he pulled through. This was last Thursday & when I think of how close he came to not making it I can't stop crying. He's absolutely thriving now but I still feel so worried about him.

How do I get past this or is it likely to be all hormones from the birth etc & will pass in due course anyway. I had terrible PND with my first born & don't want this to impact this time round.

HowToChangeThis Sun 23-Sep-12 22:10:36

I think you do just need to give yourself time, I know I had bad dreams for a while after the birth and mine wasn't as scary as yours. Just go easy in yourself and ask for help if you need it.

You could try the CBT box technique. If you have an unwanted thought imagine opening a box, putting the thought inside and closing and locking it and then throwing it away. Then deliberately think about a positive, unconnected memory eg imagine walking in the most beautiful environment you can remember. Over time the negative thought should occur less and less often.

quoteunquote Sun 23-Sep-12 22:16:44

first of all congratulations,

and you are doing just the right thing to avoid fall out, you are addressing it and processing, so that will really help,

It's horrible when a plan falls apart, and get replaced with a heap of stress,

anything that frightening will have an impact, so you are not being odd feeling it,

don't bottle anything up, crying a great release, as long as you have breaks in between sessions,

remember as well as the hormone issue, your body has a great deal of repair work to do, you are going to be tired with any of the individual things that are going on, put them all together and it would be a surprise if you didn't feel this way,

give yourself time, and a break, I wouldn't panic about PND yet, try to not stress about it, given what has just happened, I don't think what you describe is unexpected, it will pass.

DianaVreeland Sun 23-Sep-12 22:55:23

Wow HelsBels what a traumatic week you've had.
First of all let me congratulate you on you and your son making it through....what tough characters you are. And what a lucky little boy he is having such an amazing mum.
When we're expecting we have all these ideas and dreams of what the delivery is going to be like, and I think the reality is, even after the best delivery, we all feel like we have been hit by a truck. Hormones are raging and you come down from the high of delivery and then have to deal with lack of sleep, milk coming in, making endless cups of tea for visitors, and by the end of the week all we want to do is sob.
So this is what happens to the average mum who has an 'easy' delivery. I think you are completely justified in your feelings of incredible protectiveness and concern given what has happened to you.
But as someone who suffered from PND and got help too late, if you still feel the same way in a week's time, then talk to your midwife, partner, doctor, parent, anyone who can help.
take care xx

Bluegingham Mon 24-Sep-12 12:05:21

Congratulations! My midwife warned me about Day 5 Tears which I think everyone gets, regardless of their birth experience - just crashing hormones etc.

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