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Moving on from a 4th degree tear (tmi potential)

(27 Posts)
jammic Tue 04-Sep-12 13:27:17

I had a hospital appointment today to check how I've healed since our son was born 10 months ago. Some parts of my sphincter have healed fine, other parts have not done so good. My pelvic floor is loads better than it was but still isn't good. I can get to the toilet in time (it's very rare that I have a sudden urge) but sometimes I have a very small amount of leakage when I walk (bowel rather than bladder). I've had physio and the electrical stimulation and whilst this helped my pelvic floor, it hasn't made any difference to the leaks.

They're referring me to a colorectal specialist. There's a small chance I may need surgery but she said they'd try other things first. She wasn't very specific about what these were, although she did mention medication.

She strongly recommended that if we have another child, it should be delivered by elcs. Which is fine. Labour and delivery were pretty traumatic (DS was back to back, delivered by forceps and wasn't keen on the whole breathing thing but is fine now). I don't really think I would want a vaginal birth again anyway and it's far from certain that I could be pregnant again (DS was the result of our third IVF cycle).

I have no questions and am not really sure why I'm posting. I am just sharing I guess.

jammic Sun 13-Jan-13 23:40:52

Thanks guys for your support. It's really kind of you. Day-to-day, I'm ok with it all. I deal with it and just get on with things. But I seem to turn into a nervous wreck at these appointments. I always seem to struggle a bit with doctors and end up in tears. And I think these ones just tip me over the edge. I keep going thinking that I can manage it on my own, and then for some reason I seem to fall to pieces. I think I am pretty much discharged though from the nurse appointments. I just have to go back for these (potentially pointless) tests in a couple of weeks.

Lois, he wasn't big (6, 13) but he was 'unexpected' spine to spine and a forceps delivery. (They didn't spot that he was spine to spine until he came out the wrong way up.)

Goodygumdrops, thanks for the link. I've been on there before a few times but this time have noticed that on the newsletters they're asking for submissions of birth stories. So I've submitted mine. It was quite therapeutic writing it.

Granite, when they first gave me the suppositories, they said I had to use them after my normal natural bowel movement. I always go to the toilet first thing in the morning, so they wanted me to use it straight after that. And then be leak free for the rest of the day. But I spoke to the nurse about this at my last appointment, and I am going to try switching it to the evening and see how that goes.

zinja Mon 17-Jun-13 13:03:05

Hi Jammic I realise its awhile since you wrote this but I hope things have improved I had a fourth degree tear in Sept 2012 my baby girl was big 9llbs 15oz and labour was long n then induced but it seems to be her size that caused it. Thats the first time iv put that on paper as iV found it upsetting to talk about as my story didnt end there. I was kept in the first time for 5 days after birth on loads of medication anyway that was bad enough and painful enough I couldnt sit and walking was an ordeal never mind minding a newborn but thank god my husband was out of work and at home.
Anyway the first week n a half I thought I was doing ok but the my bowel movements stopped and I was taking laxitives several times a day I thought I was constipated and continued on but then the pain started to increase I couldnt lie in bed or sleep and lifting baby was very tough so I upped the laxitives no joy went to gp by this stage I started leaking from the bowel and the pain was horrific walking was a nightmare but Gp thought I was constipated so he prescribed suppository laxitives my health nurse called out n she even administered some but nothing. I have to say by this stage I was mortified of seeing anyone and so scared that I smelled of poo it was so humiliating plus the added burden I felt I was on my husband as I could do less and less with baby.
To cut a long story short I went in to hospital as I couldnt take anymore I have to also add the health nurse tried to get me admitted on the previous day but the nurse she spoke to refused saying I obviously wasent taking my medication right!! However when I went in myself I was told straight away I would be staying they thought intially I was in labour as I was so big!!! Anyway after tests they did an emergency operation where they found I had a hamatoma which had blocked by this stage my bowel and my bladder. It turns out the first op they either forgot to stitch a little bit or it tore again and the hamatoma formed and grew.
Iv had physio since and still having iv also had to have steroid injections due to scar tissue and iv an app with specialist clinic next week for tests and to see if I need further operations. Its an awful ordeal any tear but especially fourth degree due to the extent of damage that is done. I found my confidence is not as good though flatulence does not help but most people have no idea what you go through and its hard to talk about it plus its so traumatic im only now able to go to my app and not cry some nurses and doctors can be so insentive and just plain horrible iv met many during my ordeal. I dont know if this is any help maybe yours is all sorted I really hope you are lots of love xx

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