HHi OP - I will try and be as helpful as I can. I had an ELCS for my 1st DC a couple of years ago - it's a long story but I had to be referred to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with severe tokophobia, and recommended to a consultant that I have a CS.
Flisspaps is right - NICE guidelines are just guidelines. The media has been very misleading in implying it is a 'choice' available on the NHS. If you are able to go private, you will have vastly more choice about every aspect of your care - there are plenty of women here who have had planned CS's with private care, who I'm sure can provide recommendations. Be warned though - private care outside London for birth is virtually non existent (I'm not sure where in the UK you are).
It is impoossible to find 'balanced and reliable' info about CS's versus VBs. This is partly because it is a minefield of propoganda - partly because there are genuine gaps in research about CS's (probably VB's too). For example - when you find stats about Csections, they will almost certainly lump in emergency C-sections with planned Csections carried out for no physical medical reason. So statistics about maternal mortality, infant mortality and morbidity etc are all deeply skewed. Emergency CS's are just that - carried out because there is immediate and severe danger to mother or baby. Of course you will see significant health problems for that group after birth. A healthy mother and baby having a non emergency C section are in a very different situation and won't see similar outcomes. Can I back this up with research? No. There isn't enough. The NICE documents are probably as good as you get, and they are not a comprehensive survey of the risks or benefits, I'm afraid. Bear in mind too that MWs and HCPs will be giving you information based on this partial research.
Also, different women place different values on the same risks. I have a phobia about vaginal birth - some women have phobias about needles, and are terrified of hospitals and doctors, so as you can imagine, for them, CHOOSING to have a CS sounds insane. I have no problem with hospitals, docs or needles. I found my CS a fantastic, enjoyable and very moving experience. But that's why 'debate' about CS versus VB is nearly always emotive, uninformative, sometimes downright vicious and rarely enlightening. A lot of women just can't seem to imagine anyone wanting something they don't.
If you intend to get a meeting with a consultant and argue for a Csection, frankly it's pot luck, in all honesty. Some women have gone in and argued strongly in a 'lawyer' type way, and got what they wanted - others haven't. IME, consultants and HCPs in general dislike the idea of a patient 'demanding' a particular procedure - it can get their backs up. If your main reason for requesting a CS is fear of VB, you will need to be VERY clear about the strength of your negative feelings. You are basically arguing that you need one for your mental health, and need to convince them that the consequences of you NOT having a CS will be serious trauma.
You can ask to see another consultant if you are refused a CS by the first one, btw. The new NICE guidelines say that if you are refused a CS by a consultant, you should be referred to one who will carry out a CS. But of course, they are just guidelines... no one actually has to follow them.
Re: counselling - this is an option - in my case, I was already pregnant so there was a 'ticking clock', and the psychiatrist didn't think it would be effective. It would also cause me anxiety throughout my pregnancy, whereas having a CS agreed and in the diary gave me IMMENSE peace of mind. I'm not ant-counselling, btw - I've had it for depression and found it very helpful, but having been through the process, I'm aware of how it works, and that it isn't a magic wand.
Ask if there's anything else. I don't mean to sound negative - but I've been in a similar position myself, and the lack of meaningful research and info out there is very frustrating.