Talk

Advanced search

Has anyone ever given birth alone?

(13 Posts)
whackamole Mon 26-Sep-11 15:42:02

I am facing this at the moment.

Am 36+2 with my third, I have 2.8 year old twins. I have no family living nearby, and although OH does, they are far too old to look after our boys when I go into labour. The only one who could possibly have them, is MIL, but as she works full time in a school, she can't just take time off as and when. Weekends only.

So, I am faced with the reality that I may have to go into hospital, labour and possibly give birth by myself. I have friends but to be honest I wouldn't feel comfortable with any of them there. I wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone other than medical professionals and OH TBH!

Has anyone ever done this? Or have any hugely bright ideas about what to do? We don't know our neighbours very well, and although we could possibly get a nanny or something, again this would most likely be an overnight or weekend only arrangement.

I'm not worried about it BTW, just after some other perspectives we may have overlooked.

RamblingRosa Mon 26-Sep-11 15:44:54

Hi, my situation isn't the same as I had DP and mum come with me to the hospital. However, some weird animal instinct kicked in when labour started properly that I just didn't want them there. My mum was the first one to get sent home and then I kicked DP out and he had to wait in the corridor for the duration. I would have kicked the MWs out too if I hadn't been so scared.

It's hard to explain but I just really wanted to be on my own.

I don't know if that helps. Hopefully someone else will be along with an experience more like what you're describing.

ShutUppaYourFace Mon 26-Sep-11 15:48:58

I ended up giving birth on my own with DS3 because my DH didn't make it in time. I found it was ok and to be honest I prefer being on my own when i'm in labour.

It's hard arranging childcare in anticipation of going into labour. I would make arrangements for the evenings/weekends when you'll have some more options and just hope that you go into labour then.

SheWhoMustNotBeFlamed Mon 26-Sep-11 15:54:19

DH didn't make it to DS's birth - all v sudden. It was fine though.

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 26-Sep-11 16:00:35

What about hiring a doula?

medicmommy Mon 26-Sep-11 16:47:10

Yes, hire a doula / maternity nurse to either watch the kids so DH can be there or the doula can be there with you when you give birth. They can also help for the first couple of days at home.

BlameItOnTheBogey Mon 26-Sep-11 16:50:39

I also pretty much gave birth on my own (DH arrived as DD was being born). It was totally fine and actually I didn't really notice the difference. The only thing I regret is that it was, in some ways, quite a tricky birth and my notes, which I requested after, are totally made up. I regret that there was no one there who can confirm my recollection of things. But it's a small thing and overall it was fine.

whackamole Mon 26-Sep-11 16:53:54

Thanks for all your advice.

Where would I go to enquire about a doula? Is it something the hospital could advise about or do I just Google?!?

Purplebuns Mon 26-Sep-11 16:54:32

Some childminders do overnight stays, really difficult. I think I would be a case of DH or no one for me and I think in the hospital they would pay closer attention to you if you are alone. Best of luck smile

Fleecy Mon 26-Sep-11 17:50:03

We've discussed this - am booked in for a section next Monday but one of my DC was early so there's a chance this one will be too. My parents and DH's parents have kindly taken a few days to look after the DC while I'm in hospital next week but if the baby comes early they can't guarantee they'll be free, which is fair enough.

Our plan is that if things happen this week, we'll ring them and if they can't come then I will have to go alone so DH can look after the DC. It's not ideal but one of those things, especially since I've had two quick labours so would rather go straight up by myself than wait around for someone to be free for childcare. Nice to know I'm not the only one though!

medicmommy Mon 26-Sep-11 18:20:20

There is an organisation where you can find registered doulas as well as another for maternity nurses - I think . . . You will have to interview people. Check online or I'm sure someone can give you the website. My friend had a doula, she also had no family around to watch her other kid. So in the end the doula she found was able to get to her when she went into labour, her husband stayed with their daughter (I think he took her to the hospital but waited outside until the new baby arrived). My friend was with the doula and the same doula came over for a few days to help at home.

Depending on your doula - duties can be varied. I doubt the hospital can give you information on doulas - my mw didn't seem impressed when I mentioned a doula or private maternity nurse.

turningvioletviolet Mon 26-Sep-11 21:02:09

I gave birth to dd2 on my own. I'd been in hospital for 5 weeks threatening labour so i think DH thought it was yet another false alarm. Actually it was fine - but then again I sort of go into myself and don't really need anybody. Midwives and Drs etc were great.

The weirdest bit was straight after when a crowded room suddenly emptied and I was left totally on my own (dd2 was 3 months premature so i didn't even have a baby with me as she had gone off to NNU). Gave me a bit of time to 'regroup' though for want of a better word before DH and the rest descended. Not sure that a doula would have been of any benefit to me but I suppose it's each to their own.

NorthLondonDoulas Mon 26-Sep-11 23:14:13

Oh my love, im sorry to hear that - no one should have to go through such an amazing and important experience by them selves! Have you considered hiring a doula to support you throughout?

I have no idea where you are based but if you would like any information on Doulas, what we do and how to find one near to you i will do my very best to help and point you in the right direction. If you do have any questions please feel free to PM me or contact me via www.northlondondoulas.co.uk and i will do my very best to help.

Congratulations and i hope you find a solution.

Victoria.x

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now