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Plans for older child?? Has anyone just taken sibling with them to hospital?

(22 Posts)
mamaesi Mon 26-Sep-11 14:51:22

I am not really sure what to do about my 1.5 year old when I go into labour.

My first labour was quick (2.5 hours) and we have no family near us. We have also just moved and I do not like/know or trust any of our neighbors. So do we just sling the kid in the car when we jet off to the hospital?

What did you do if you went into labour in middle of the night? Or if babysitters or friends were not around?

Elderberries Mon 26-Sep-11 17:41:35

No that is mad. You need to find an alternative. A babysitter that specialises in this or make a freind. They will not let a child in the delivery room and you can't leave them in the car.

Other alternative is a home birth.

To answer your last point we have about 8 back up plans for people to watch our two year old but if we didn't have those alternatives I would go to hospital without my partner. Do you have a partner?

Elderberries Mon 26-Sep-11 17:41:54

Sorry for bad spelling.

catsareevil Mon 26-Sep-11 17:47:14

When you say we does that mean that you have a partner? As a worst case scenario they could stay at home with the child, but it is a situation where most people will try and help out if they can.

kat2504 Mon 26-Sep-11 17:59:40

You can't expect the hospital to provide a babysitting service. It might be a logistical nighmare for you but you will need to get something sorted. Other wise your partner will have to look after the child. Not ideal, but it isn't the hospital's responsibility, unless in cases of absolute emergency (ie you are all out for the day/on holiday 200 miles from home and you go suddenly into premature labour)

LoveInAColdClimate Mon 26-Sep-11 18:08:07

I recall reading here on a similar thread (so not sure if it's true or not) that if you rock up with your child then the hospital won't be able to look after them while you labour so will call Social Services. Which I suppose would get your child looked after but probably wouldn't be what you would choose, and wouldn't exactly be a great way to endear your toddler to your new baby! How about a colleague or a fellow mother from baby and toddler groups? I appreciate you've only just moved and so won't know people well but I think this is the kind of thing people are happy to help with - I know I woud be.

LoveInAColdClimate Mon 26-Sep-11 18:08:18

would

Rindercella Mon 26-Sep-11 18:16:19

When are you due? Perhaps this is the time to go out and make friends rather than dislike your new neighbours grin

Honestly, I was in a similar situation 18 months ago, but my older DD was 2.5 yrs. I got my MIL to come and stay. She got there the day before - iirc - I went into labour and was great. I do appreciate though that not all MILs are fab wink So...get a trusted friend or relative to come before your due date or get a local child minder/babysitter on board now.

You did have a quick labour - my first was 7.5 hours. My second was 3 hours. You're right to be considering taking your older DC with you. But if you can avoid it, I would if at all possible.

You could of course be 16 weeks so this isn't at all urgent and you will make a score of friends before your due date smile

Rindercella Mon 26-Sep-11 18:18:40

She got there the day before - iirc - I went into labour and was great.

Is a really crap sentence.

Iirc, my MIL got there the day before I went into labour and was great.

<breathes>

LoveInAColdClimate Mon 26-Sep-11 18:23:07

Is there a reason you couldn't have a home birth?

kat2504 Mon 26-Sep-11 18:24:44

Even if she can have a homebirth she will still need a back up in case she has to be transferred to hospital.

LoveInAColdClimate Mon 26-Sep-11 18:29:08

Oh, I suppose so, I hadn't thought of that. Although I suppose when asking people if they could help it makes it more appealing when it's "probably won't need you" rather than "definitely will".

Is your toddler at nursery/with a childminder/nanny share? Might whoever normally does your childcare (assuming you don't do it all yourself, of course) be able to help out in an emergency?

MrsCampbellBlack Mon 26-Sep-11 18:32:14

DH ended up looking after eldest whilst I had second dc as it was boxing day and I just didn't want to drop him into the middle of someone else's christmas.

Was a c-section though (albeit earlier than planned) so a bid different. However the midwifes were especially lovely as DH wasn't with me.

PenguinArmy Mon 26-Sep-11 21:02:33

<eek> we're a bit like this. Just moved to area, family 2.5hrs away. No friends and I'm 37+2.

I think I can ask the neighbours, only spoken to them twice but they have young children and seem friendly. She can (hopefully) just wait there until my mum turns up for her

PenguinArmy Mon 26-Sep-11 21:03:01

yep and DD is 18months old

mamaesi Mon 26-Sep-11 21:30:19

Yes I have a husband. but I want/need him to drive me to the hospital and be with me so I am not alone!

Both parents on both sides are in other countries as is all family so a babysitter till mom turned up is not an option either.

I can of course make friends, but in central London, call me crazy but in my neighborhood I honestly do not trust my neighbors to watch my child and or not steal anything from my home!

All of my friends work during the day/week and would be sleeping and live too far to wait for them in the middle of the night.

I have no nursery/childminder as I am not working. I take care of my child every single day. I have babysitter/childminders that we use on occasion, but again how do I get them to my house on short notice?

I didnt mean that the hospital would babysit. I meant my husband would watch her in the room with me. I hate the thought, but feel really stuck.

Iggly Mon 26-Sep-11 21:43:47

Cam you hire a doula for labour so your dh can look after your DD? she won't be allowed to stay and actually might be a bit scary for her anyway.
Also if you're low risk, a homebirth sounds ideal given the speed of your first labour!

mamaesi Mon 26-Sep-11 21:48:06

I know some people have suggested home birth, but I am really not comfortable with the idea. Giving birth terrifies me in the first place and being at home away from doctors and such makes me even more uneasy. I just dont want to do that!

Schoolgirl Mon 26-Sep-11 22:07:21

You sound a bit panicked about the whole thing so some organisation would help. Draw up two lists of people you would trust to look after your DC, including familiar babysitters/childminders. One list should be for during the day, another for night-time.

It sounds like your lists will be very short to start with as (a) your DC is quite young and (b) she's not in any type of ongoing childcare. You need to remedy this now - find some babysitters and start leaving DC with them for short periods to start with getting longer over time. Some ideas for babysitters - teenage children of friends/neighbours, girls from the local nursery/nursing college, older couple friends (with older DC or no DC).

You're going to need to be much less precious about who looks after DC. You and DH are obviously the best people for the job - however, both of you will be busy! It's not going to be for long - second labours are generally much shorter and even if your labour becomes prolonged, DH can pop back from time to time to check on her.

If this doesn't appeal to you, then you're going to have to be tough with yourself. Your DH can drive you to hospital with DC in tow but then he'll have to leave you as hospitals aren't the best place for such young DC. I say this having taken our 4 year old to hospital when I was in labour with DC2 - she still remembers me being in pain and the shouting and swearing blush

I given birth twice without DH now - it's not ideal BUT you do get more attention because you're alone - the delivery midwives were wonderful both times. With DC3, I had a student midwife who I'd met beforehand when she asked if I could be her case-study. DH is obviously sad he missed both births but he was there shortly after as soon as he'd sorted the childcare.

Sorry for the epic post but you sound so negative and panicked - just thought you should know that if the worst happens (i.e. DH has to look after DC) it doesn't mean you won't have a great birth experience.

Schoolgirl Mon 26-Sep-11 22:09:09

ps you should have enough time to organise a taxi for your babysitter to come over to your house whilst you're in early labour. Otherwise DH can drop you off at hospital, find out how far dilated you are and then nip back with DC perhaps picking up babysitter en route?

Schoolgirl Mon 26-Sep-11 22:18:27

Here's a link to similar thread where the OP got lots of good advice and reassurance www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/1119546-Hospital-Delivery-and-no-childcare-some-opinions

<wonders if 3 consecutive posts is overkill>

PenguinArmy Mon 26-Sep-11 22:43:47

internet ate my post but I think Schoolgirl has pretty much covered what I was saying.

I am sure if you explained to babysitters/childminders they would understand or look at a specialized service. I am assuming that any stay longer than 1 working day will mean I'm in hospital mostly by myself as my mum can only come for i day at short notice.

It feels like your in panic mode right now, but there are options

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