Helping a friend after a csection(13 Posts)
My friend who I rent a room from has just given birth via c section. She is quite upset about this as was not part of the plan but should be home in a few days. For anyone who has experience this please tell me ways I can help her? Obviously practical things like taking over the cleaning etc. Was there anything you were bought which was particularly useful? Any advice? Trying to be very supportive!! Thanks
You sound like a very supportive friend! Having just had a c section (unexpectedly) myself, I think the most helpful thing has been people cooking, making cups of tea etc and also helping out with things like lifting and general moving around. Your friend will not only be recovering from childbirth, but also fairly major surgery as well as dealing with the fact that her birth didn't go as planned - its a pretty major rollercoaster! Making sure that she has plenty of vitamins and nutrients in what she is eating will be good as she probably won't feel like eating much - and keeping her well stocked up with cups of tea! Cooking meals will be the last thing on her mind . It realy helped me that my dp took care of the general day to day stuff so I coujld just totally concentrate on caring for our dd and recovering from everything. Encouraging her to get a bit of fresh air as well every day is good as well, even if it is just a 5 min walk down the street to begin with.
In terms of equipment, our changing station is fab as I ca change her and bath her without bending down but standing upright. If she doesn't have a changing station, setting up the changing things so she can stand up and see to the baby will be better than having to bend down adn lift the baby from lower down. Minimising lifting in any way is definitely a good thing!
Good luck to both of you, enjoy!
Everything as said above is spot on, especially the cooking. Meals were the last thing that I wanted to think about but eating regularly is important. Maybe you could make batches of shepard's pie, lasagne etc that u could freeze and she could tale out and heat up.
Also someone told me before me c section that if my bed was high then get a little step to put by the side as this really helps with getting in and out...it did!
Something definitely to help bathe the baby in the sink with is also good as so hard to bend over etc.
I am sure just having such a supportive friend around will be a great help xxx
What a lovely and supportive friend!
I would say it is always good for someone else to also be on top of when to take any meds - I had no idea when I had taken the last set, but my DH was v on top of that which really helped. When painkillers wear off and you have forgotten to take the next set - it isn't great! Especially in the early days!
Bathing can be tricky - getting in and out of the shower or just feeling a bit wobbly afterwards - not that I am suggesting you should help with the shower bit, but making sure she rests afterwards will help.
Helping with yummy, vitamin filled food etc will be a godsend. Hospital food is rank. How anyone is meant to recover with the aid of that stuff is beyond me.
She may want to talk about the experience so being a good listener may also help if you feel you can do that.
Generally someone clucking over you can either be lovely or v irritating, so asking her what she would like you to help with I'm sure will be hugely appreciated.
My mum set up a little station next to the sofa, baby things that will be needed to hand, a little side table for drinks etc so when I was resting I didn't have to keep moving.
Oh and when I came home my DH had bought some lovely cheery flowers which were beautiful to look at after being in a dreary hospital environment. That was when I wasn't baby gazing ;-).
Very lovely of you to be thinking of how to help her out :-)
Lots of good advice above - as well as the other household chores, there will be tons of washing with a newborn and your friend won't be able to carry laundry baskets etc to start with. Maybe also making sure she has some good reading material or DVD's - I felt like I spent forever on the sofa breastfeeding/cuddling DD and having a book to read really helped.
If you have an upstairs, having a changing station on both floors is helpful. I set up the changing mat etc on the dining table during the daytime to save climbing stairs.
Just being around to be an extra pair of hands and good company will be hugely helpful. You are a lovely friend .
It sounds to me like you already know what needs to be done.
I had help in to clean the loo/shower/that sort of thing, make me coffees & sarnies. Changing the DVD, making sure she's got all the remotes within reaching distance, laptop plugged in, etc., etc.
The most difficult thing for me (because I couldn't give a rat's arse if the washing up was building up) was getting out of bed. So being within shouting distance will help.
Everything has been said above, and when the same thing happened to me my mum and dh did those things very well, what they didn't anticipate was the emotional upset I was going to be in, I just wanted to cry most of the time, and talk about what had happened, so if you can lend an ear and let her cry it out I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Oh, I also enjoyed them looking after baby for an hour os so while I had a nap...
She mustnt lift anything other than baby for about 2 months and no driving for 6. Also she shouldnt really push the buggy for a long time either.
Huh?? Weird ... I've had four sections & been driving by a month each time, pushing pushchair & lugging toddlers around by the time dh's 2 weeks of paternity leave finished. Life doesn't stop because you've had a baby & a c-section really isn't a huge deal
OP - being brought meals is fabulous when you've just had a baby regardless of how they come into the world.
Sorry for delay but thanks all for brilliant advice. I bought massively massive pants and trackies, lavender oil, tea tree oil and arnica tablets and made up some babysitting and cleaning vouchers! Thanks again
That's really kind of you. I wish I also had a friend like you.
Actually 1 other thing make sure the towels she uses are soft as i found after my c section my skin was very sensitive.
Congratulations o your friend and she is very lucky to have someine as kind and considerate as you As a childbirth educator I comiled a handout for mums after a caesrean on what to expect in the first few days and weeks I would be happy to email this to you if you want to contact me laura @ bumpsandmore.co.uk (without the spaces!)
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