Sorry for the long post but here it goes. . . .I went into very sudden labour at 34 weeks after an OK pregnancy. Labour progressed well (or so I thought) until there appeared to be lots of whispering between midwifes and consultant etc. The next thing I knew a random doctor was trying to forcibly move DD both internally and by applying pressure to my stomach, I passed out at this point due to the pain and woke up in theatre face down being sat on by 2 men, I later discovered that I was having a spinal block but because I was contracting so strongly they needed to hold me still. DD was delivered very quickly with the use of forceps, she needed a little help with breathing and was very very bruised and had a cut on her head, I had a 3rd degree tear and was bleeding excessively. I had told everyone who would listen that I wanted the baby placed on me as soon as possible after the birth but this didn't happen and instead a midwife was holding her (at this point I hadn't even being told the sex of the baby or if she was ok!)
When I was in recovery (about an hour after the birth) I finally held my precious baby and immediately felt better, however I was then told that I would not be well enough (due to loss of blood etc) to look after the baby for the next few hours and therefore DD would be taken to NICU as this was the only place thet had space for her, I was absolutely distraught for many reasons including the fact that I wanted to breastfeed and knew the importance of skin to skin etc, I begged and pleaded with the staff and my DH even offered to stay with me and DD for the rest of the night and just bring DD to me when she needed a feed, this was declined.
After a horrible 14 hours, DD finally came back to the ward but I was horrified to see that she had a NGT fitted, they offered no explanation as to why they had done this apart from "she was early"
We spent 8 long days in hospital as DD developed severe jaundice and needed triple phototherapy, it was horrible as I wasn't even allowed to really do anything with DD and the staff were really inconsistent with their advice, and although I kept asking for help it was day 4 before DD actually had her first direct breastfeed (I was already pumping which she was given through NGT), thankfully DD was a natural and although she was still sleepy she managed really well.
When we were discharged, I can honestly say I had very little bond with DD as I had being made to feel guilty whenever I held her or tried to breastfeed her. I really struggled for the first few weeks and looking back I can clearly recognise signs of PND.
Thankfully I now have a thriving, beautifull 8 month old lovely little lady who is the light of my life and I love her more than I ever thought possible.
DH mentioned having another baby in the future, however the thought of this honestly made me feel unwell, I realise that this may not happen again but I do feel scarred by the whole thing. This is actually the first time I have even gone into any sort of detail about the labour/hospital stay etc and it feels quite good to get it out.
Did anyone have a similar experience and then go on to have another DC?
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Childbirth
Will I ever forget?
25 replies
kellieb7 · 02/09/2011 20:44
OP posts:
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