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Moral Dilemma: Should partner go on "last" ski trip 6wk b4 due date?

(14 Posts)
ohsooootired Mon 22-Aug-11 14:08:40

13wk pg with no 1. Partner asking if he can book "last" ski trip (clearly all life ends post baby.....) 6wks b4 due date.

Am inclined to say yes, as sulky partner is not good prospect. Realistically what are the chances of my going into premature labour? - So far pregnancy has had no complications, but I'm gonna be an older Mum (38).

Is there anything else I should consider? (E.g.If I were to become totally incapacitated with SPD?/hospitalised with pre-eclampsia?)

Comments from experienced mothers most appreciated!

littlewheel Mon 22-Aug-11 14:19:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumpsadaisie Mon 22-Aug-11 14:28:35

My DH is going away cycling for 5 days when I will be 36 weeks (and leaving me with a toddler too!)

I think its unlikely you would have the baby at 34 weeks, but of course babies do sometimes come early! Not sure I could put a figure on it but out of all my friends and NCT ladies who have had babies (30 people maybe?) I can only think of two or three who have actually been earlier than their due date, especially with first babies. One very unusually came at 33 weeks and needed special care for a week or so, and another couple or so at 37/38.

Chances are you won't have any complications, but you will get a better feel for this by the 20 week scan. You can't tell in advance how you will be in late pregnancy, as you say you could have terrible SPD, pre eclampsia, you could have placenta praevia and bleeding and be in hospital a lot etc etc. Something could happen that suggests the placenta is starting to fail and they might want to get the baby out asap. All v. v. unlikely of course, but it could happen.

Could he hold off booking till the 20 week scan? If that is all clear then I guess you can be more confident that it will all be straightforward.

If I were you, and I am talking from the standpoint of being 32 weeks now and it all looking pretty standard, I would be happy with him going off for 5 days skiing somewhere in Europe. I wouldn't be happy with him disappearing for 2 weeks to Colorado (not least as I have DD to run round after).

QTPie Mon 22-Aug-11 14:46:02

I agree with late/r booking.... see how you are. Also make sure that you have maybe a "back-up" birth partner JUST IN CASE (although VERY UNLIKELY!) and people around who can help out if need be.

Life doesn't end - we (whole family) went to Colorado (from the UK) skiing when DS was 12 months old. We had the inlawsd with us (to look after DS whilst we went skiing for half days). Would have been a fab trip IF I hadn't had fell (dropped into a hidden compression in deep powder) on the first day, fell on the side of my ski and lacerated my knee (stretchered down the mountain, 8 stitches in A&E, crutches and no more skiing that trip). Nothing to do with my fitness (which was great) or anything else - just a complete freak accident.... (fall wasn't bad at all, I would have gotten up and walked away if I hadn't skimmed the razor sharp edge of my ski....).

So get planning for a family ski trip the year after ;)

QT

notcitrus Mon 22-Aug-11 15:04:07

If he can hold off booking until after 20 weeks, and it's only a week somewhere in Europe so he could get home if the situation changed, and he got insurance that would cover said return or agreed to risk the cost, then I'd be tempted to say OK.
And spell out exactly what I wanted off him for the remainder of pregnancy, and how I could get assistance if needed while he was away (do you have nice neighbours/friends nearby/family to help?)

This is assuming it's a first baby and that on the whole he's a decent bloke.
I was unable to walk with SPD at 34 weeks but that was predictable by 20 weeks, and with the internet not much of a problem!

citymonkey Tue 23-Aug-11 14:12:01

My husband went away to NY for five days last week, when i was 35/36 weeks, for work. It was fine, I was relaxed about it. I had a friend lined up 'just in case' (family are not close by) and although in NY so effectively 12 hours from 'I'm in labour' to him arriving at the hospital, I was optimistic that given it was our first he would still make it for the birth.

Sort of depends on what sort of person you are / what sort of relationship you have with your DH I think, but I reckon 34 weeks is fine. Especially if he is in Europe - what would the door-to-door return time for him be?

Sn0wGoose Tue 23-Aug-11 16:59:33

Having had a nephew born at 34 weeks and a bit touch-and-go for a while, I know my sister would have been in pieces (well, more than she already was) if her DH had been abroad. So I would be a bit wary tbh. Can he not go earlier?

seaweed74 Tue 23-Aug-11 17:07:12

My DP wanted to go away for long weekend 5 weeks before my due date and I said he had to be kidding me!!!! Having read this thread I'm wondering if I was a little harsh!?

However I said I'd have no problem with him taking the same trip next year while I look after both children, so I'm not all bad am I?

Bumpsadaisie Tue 23-Aug-11 18:04:08

I should add that my DH is only going to be two hours car journey away for his cycling ... not sure on reflection that I would be happy with him being a whole flight away .. I also have my parents three miles away and my best friend 7 miles away, so that makes a difference.

DilysPrice Tue 23-Aug-11 18:17:49

I'd tend to be OK with it, the chances with something drastic happening during that week is very small.

coccyx Tue 23-Aug-11 18:43:15

let him go

dinkystinky Tue 23-Aug-11 18:46:45

DH went iceclimbing in Norway (4 hours drive from airport and then flight back - would have taken him around 8 hours journeying time to get back) 4 weeks before DS1 was due - and it was fine. As it was I went 2 weeks overdue anyway.

Chynah Tue 23-Aug-11 21:57:43

He could always wait til after baby is here. We took DS snowbarding when he was 9 weeks old. OK so I spent more time than I usually would have reading in the chalet but I still got out on the slopes a lot and DH was out for most/all of the day. Plus DS looked so cute in is little fluffy snowsuit!

RockChick1984 Tue 23-Aug-11 23:31:08

I wouldn't personally, I had sciatica from around 36 weeks and couldn't drive or walk far, so I would have been useless if dh had gone away while I was like that. However, chances are if you tell him not to go, you will be fine, and end up going at least full term and you'll feel guilty for not letting him! I wouldn't have wanted to risk it though.

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