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fast labour and a child to watch...whats your plan for a babysitter during childbirth?(20 Posts)
my first baby was born with only a 2 hour labour.
now am pregnant again and clueless as to how to plan for what to do with my toddler.
we have no family around. my niece can come babysit but she is more than an hour away...with my history we cant wait for her to come to go to the hospital. what should I do with my toddler? what if its the middle of the night?
what did you do?
You need to talk to your friends who live close, or people who are 'friends' because your dc plays with theirs.Most people with small children would be happy to help.
Dc2 was born in the middle of the night, we left for the hospital at 11.45pm leaving BIL babysitting, she was born at 12.15 and DH was home by 3am.
DC3 was born at home at 2am while dc1 and 2 were sleeping, we had FIL on standby but he did not need to come round and a friend who I know through dc1's babygroup on call for daytime babysitting.
Is homebirth an option? because if your first labour was that quick your 2nd could be quicker and even if you had childcare it still could be quite tight to get to hospital!
You'll find that once you've explained the situation most people would be happy to babysit for a few hours. Our elderly neighbour offered to nightsit our DD1 who was 1 when DD2 was born.
In the end the birth was so quick we didn't make it to the hospital, DH had to catch DD2 in a towel, but thats another story.
Our plan (nearest family 2 hour drive away) was that if it was in the day then if neighbour was in she would come over and look after DD1 in our house whilst DH took me in (was only in hospital 1 hour before with DD1 when she was born). Then he'd see the birth, then come straight back to look after DD1 leaving me to cope with newborn DD2. Plenty of nurses to help out after all if I needed it.
If it was overnight our plan was to get neighbour to come over and housesit DD1 overnight (she's a bit noctornal anyway) and whatever happened DH would be back by 6am to make sure he was there when DD1 woke up.
As it was DD2 came rather quickly at 8:30 in the evening. DD1 was asleep and DH was just going round to neighbour to tell her she might be needed that night when pop, out came DD2. No babysitter needed.
But in all seriousness, we were shitting ourselves about who would look after DD1, but in the end people ARE happy to help and if they have offered then take someone up on it, even if its just for a couple of hours.
I had very fast labour with ds2. This time I am planning to dash off to hosp at first twinge leaving dcs with a neighbour/friend who lives on route to hosp. Then call MIL who lives further away and get her to go get dcs from neighbours house (which will take about an hour)
If I was you I would plan a homebirth- its one of the biggest advantages with other children, mostly second labours seem to happen at night and the older child sleeps. If homebirth is an option that you consider just make sure you alert the midwives early!
no sorry. homebirth really scares me.
all our friends on the way or nearby work...so if its during the day I have no one.
we also have recently moved so don't know any neighbors...
ahh this is stressing me out.
why not introduce yourself to your new neighbours.
You NEED to find someone who can help you, even if just for a few hours while your mum drives to take over...
Does you child go to nursery? Perhaps one of her nursey workers might be prepared to drop everything at a moments notice?
Other wise surely you go to a toddler group or something.... just get talking to a few local mums, and im sure someone will be happy to help, especially if your mum is on route to collect asap
Similar situation. DC2 was born in just over 2 hrs but my first was a CS so HB not a realistic option. I have lots of friends around who want to help but they are all busy people so pinning one of them down will take time. I'm under strict instructions to go in at first twinge. I was told that if I felt the urge to push call 999, if I was in a desperate hurry bring the kids in and get someone to collect from hospital. I think you need to make some friends nearby. Neighbours would be a good place to start. Luckily for me Mum decided to come and stay before baby has arrived so she's now here if I go into labour and DH is working from home. I was worried for a while there though!
I'm in the same boat- though not as fast labour- 6 hours the first time. My parents will be on holiday a 2 hour drive away around my due date so here is our plan. I also cant have HB as positive for group strep B- so have to try to get to hospital for anti biotics asap.
In the day:
At first twinge- I call my DP and a friend who lives round the corner (who is a teacher and will be off- she has the same aged DC so she wont need anything)
I will then ring a different friend to take me to hospitasal where I will meet DP (DP works an hour away and hospital is a further 40 mins away)
My friend will then contact my mum to arrange her to pick dd up- as I will have to be in hospital for the first 24 hours.
In the night:
Call one of DP's mates to come round and sit waiting while my mum drives back.
You do have a few options:
1) join a toddler group and make friends - they will probably get to know you and be more than happy to help
2) Contact a local Child Minder and see if you can come to an arrangement
3) go to a hospital inbetween your relatives and take dc wirth you
I am not in the same boat really.
However I labour quickly my DD was born in 2 hours and 5 minutes. So with my DS I rang my mum and dad as soon as I felt something and they arrived 45 mins later then we left for hospital which is 30 minutes from home, I started pushing in the car however DS was brow so needed EMCS. I am currently 28 weeks with number 3 and going on the assumption I have less time than I did with DS so have neighbour on standby to wait while my parents arrive so we can shoot off as soon as I feel something happening.
I honestly agree with others get chatting and make friends with your neighbours mine are lovely. Also I am lucky in the sense that if it happens too quick I have a midwife over the road which is always handy
We had this problem - in the end dd1 was in the room when ds was born - it wasn't a major problem. DH had to keep her distracted for a while but its not like he was going to be any help to me!!!
I had a fast labour with DS1 and my consultant for current pregnancy offered induction at 37 weeks. I didn't take this option but if it's on the cards for you, could be a way of at least knowing when you'll be going to hospital...
in the short time we have been here...my neighbors have complained to the council about us and broken our fence. on the other side we have young students who have parties all the time.
neighbors are out of the question. none of the grandparents are in the country...when I said I have no family here I mean it...none in the UK.
i have started going to playgroups but I am not sure any of the nannies/childminders I have met are willing to come over at 3am??
and this precipitious labour that I have...I have to go to the hospital asap. I think in the end the toddler might have to come with us.
How about a homebirth (as others have mentioned)- perhaps with the added extra of a doula?
If you're gonna be that fast (and I guess there's no guarantees things will go the same way), it's hardly worth going to hospital is it?
My last birth was very fast, but timed well so that the other two Dcs were asleep in bed
ah bugger, sorry didn't see the bit about hb scaring you.
note to self- thy must not cook dinner and mumsnet at the same time.
mamaesi. Neighbours doesnt necessarily mean the people who live next door, or even in the same road.
There must be some friendly person who you can get to know who lives in the same village or a few roads away..... near enough to be at your with 5 mins notice, or to just drop your child round?
They dont have to live directly next door to you, or even in the same street!
Could you afford an au au pair for a few weeks around the birth?
not read whole thread, just to say my second was fast labour and midwives advised me to consider induction for number 3. Just had number 3 yesterday. I had agreed induction with consultant to plan to be in hospital as did not want home birth (personal choice, coud have happened anyway but had prepared back up plans). So we booked normal childcare, babysitter who normally minds kids when we go out for evening. Then we had a list of 5 or 6 friends who would have come in to cover. We have no family within 3 hour drive. Our immediate neighbours were available for emergency cover and then closer friends available to take over. We also had a list of other mothers who offered to help as they had young children who were play pals. It took some planning but I went to hosipital having filled my husband's mobile with numbers. it went fine and was fast and he was home at 11pm to let babysitter go. but it could have been different!
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