When I had dd I was a fully signed up member of the 'I will hypnobirth' brigade. I read the books, listened to the CDs, went to a few classes, deep breathed and wandered into birth wholeheartedly believing in it.
The thing is, it didn't go well with dd. Not a hypnobirthing failure but dd was severely malpositioned and I could not manage the feelings. The pain was cripplingly bad and I know now why because she was unbirthable and my body was screaming at me that something was wrong. But I blindly persisted with breathing through it (not working) for far too long. DD had a couple of problems due to a protracted labour and very long 2nd stage and I ended up with a blue light transfer and emergency surgery.
It's years on and I've braved getting pregnant again. I've had ptsd and struggled with having another. It's taken counselling and a lot of resolve to have a second. I've tried to get into a mindset that what happened with dd was just bad luck (I did NOT fail which is what I've believed for years), hypnobirthing is only for straightforward, low risk babies. Maybe this one might be.
But I've started reading the books again and last night I threw one at the wall in frustration. Because it's bringing back all the feelings of failure. When it says 'you can condition yourself not to feel pain, you shouldn't feel pain and if you think your baby into the right position, they will be there' I feel so bloody useless. Well my thoughts must be wonky because I thought all sorts of hippy, happy clappy stuff last time and dd still didn't come out. I flicked through to the 'assistance and breech' bit of the book to see what it says about managing that. Apparently breech happens when you're not thinking positively or have stress in your life. Am I mad? I read this and it reeked of 'it's your fault if your baby's in the wrong position'. I'd just about accepted that it was just bad flipping luck but this book that helped me when pg with dd is making me feel really bloody useless again.
I can't repeat affirmations about 'my baby is in the perfect position' because my head is screaming 'well that's bollocks'.
I did believe last time. I don't know what the bloody hell to do. I don't want a medicalised birth. I wanted to believe in my body and have another crack at having faith in my ability to do this. But the lovely, calming books I read last time are giving me the rage.
Somebody do it for me? I don't know what to do, how to prepare. Apart from crying and panicking.
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Childbirth
If you're reading a 'hypnobirthing' book and thinking 'what a load of codswallop', where do you go next?
TurtlesAreRetroRight · 09/05/2011 09:33
I'm in Norfolk.
I don't really know if a doula would work for me. You have to like people right? 
I'm cripplingly shy and struggle with talking to people I sort of know. I don't know if a doula could help seeing as she would be a stranger. I can't be vulnerable in front of people either.
I can't do this at all. But this baby has to come out now. I'm frightened.
I have nothing against drugs in labour. I'm sure the cs would have been fairly rubbish without the spinal block actually.
But I could be drugged up to the eyeballs and suffering no pain. Or drug free and feeling every twinge. It's not really the pain that worries me. It's the progress of labour and the actual birth.
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy 
I am no expert on the medical intricacies but I do know that you did everything you possibly could have, when most people would have been demanding a c sections hours before. It was just pure bad luck that dd wasn't in the right position and unfortunately, no one can plan for these things. I'm a big believer in not worrying about things you have no control over. Therein lies madness. If the baby is in the right position, then you will give birth without any problems. If it isn't, then you may need intervention. I think accepting the possibility in your own mind beforehand will mean it wouldn't be such a shock and therefore will not be as traumatic.
The hypnobirthing I did was not about pretending that you can condition yourself not to feel pain, or that you should even try. There was nothing about pretending your baby is in the right position etc. It was about relaxing as much as possible and not being frightened of the impending birth, which makes you tense up and expect pain and therefore hinders the birthig process. It worked perfectly for me with DS2.
Like you, I had had a horrific first birth and PTSD. I was terrified of even going to the hospital for scans as it set off all the horrible physical memories. Then I did a day course on hypnobirthing techniques and tere was quite a bit about letting go of fears. I did the affirmations every day and it genuinely cured all my fears and I did have a very pleasant second birth thank God.
There is a difference between quackery, ie "breech happens if you're not thinking positively" and fact, ie "your birth is likely to be easier if you are calm and relaxed." It doesn't guarantee that though and you can safely ignore anyone who spouts that kind of bollocks.
Some kind of counselling/preparation will be invaluable for you no matter what kind of birth you go for, because it is horrible living with the fear after a traumatic birth
But every birth is different so there is no reason you should suffer again. I was left disabled and traumatised by my first birth but the second one was absolutely fine (at home, which was a double bonus) and not even painful until crowning, so if that can happen to me it can for you too.
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