Sex after episiotomy

[BlackSwan77]

Hi all,
I know there have been loads of threads about healing after an episiotomy/forceps delivery, but if you had this, how long before you resumed your sex life?

I know all women are different, but would be interested to get a vague idea!

I had a forceps delivery 10 weeks ago and have been on three courses of antibiotics as the wound keeps getting infected despite me being meticulous about personal hygiene. It's still very sore, a kind of deep pressure ache inside me rather than the superficial stinging I had at first and when my stitches went.

It seems a LOT of people who've had an epi lose their stitches, you'd think the doctors would by now find some better way of doing this awful procedure. I would have totally preferred a C-section than this, I begged for one in the hospital and they told me no way as it's major surgery. But having my ladygarden relandscaped has been psychologically totally hideous!

Thanks for advice

[CuppaTeaJanice]

About 4 or 5 months, but that was more to do with lack of sleep, baby in same room, leaky boobs, general 'can't be bothered-ness' about sex than the epi scar.

On the plus side, once we did resume it, sex was much more comfortable than it had been pre-baby, and also I no longer get period pains.

[herethereandeverywhere]

You have my sympathies, epi's are awful. I'm afraid I daren't have sex until 14 months after. I was just too damaged emotionally and psychologically as well as physically. Thankfully DH was very understanding.

Others on MN healed better and quicker than my experience though.

[MummySerendipity]

8 weeks after an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear . Also fell pregnant 12 weeks after giving birth that way.... I hope you recover soon.

[eyebrowqueen]

Swan, it takes such a long time to heal after epi /tearing. My forceps induced - baby with arm up 3rd degree came undone and I thought I was NEVER going to recover. Antibiotics etc etc. DRs kept discussing contraception and I was flabbergasted as it was the last thing on my mind!

Mummyserendipity my goodness!!


HOwever, you will heal. I did, I am practically good as new. Done the deed (4 and a half months)- it was a bit painful then it was fine.

I so understand the psychological trauma as well- I felt so vulnerable. I remember feeling it in the shower and crying with the awfulness of it. But try and be patient too - the tissue viability nurse I saw said my wound (!) would take months to heal. And it did take a while but it did heal in the end. Are you eating well and all that? BAsically that is what she said to me: eat well, rest, do a bit of moving to get blood flowing and give it an airing if poss. ( she didn't reccomend baths or anything) I used to have showers all bloody day instead of baths.

[Metalhead]

First tried after 9 weeks but was still far too painful, despite everything looking like it had healed properly. Took 6 months for sex to be painless and enjoyable again!

[BlackSwan77]

Thanks everyone, I am thinking it'll be a few months yet. I don't even want nooky anyway as I'm so tired! But nice to know by this summer we might be back on track.

[liquoriceandtomatoes]

Thanks for this thread. this is something on my mind a lot as my baby is nearly 4 months and I still haven't had sex post epi. I'm too afraid to in case it hurts or I find I've been stitched up too tightly (as I've read sometimes here). Plus, there's all the psychological stuff of not feeling the same, what went on down there after I got infected (one mw looked at my vagina post birth and looked really disgusted saying I needed to get it sorted etc

I feel like I've just switched of the sexual side to myself although it helps me to read others experience.

[redandyellowandpinkandgreen]

8 weeks after epi and forceps delivery but reading this it looks I was lucky as I have healed well. The stitches hurt for about two weeks after and I wanted to wait for my 6 week check first.

I was worried about it but it didn't hurt in the end.

[ethelina]

6 weeks postnatal, after my check up. My stitches had gone by 3 weeks. No biggie.

[MadAboutQuavers]

I had an epi and a 3rd degree tear

Resumed sex life 5 weeks later, very comfortably, no pain

I think I was lucky too to have healed so quickly

[littlehouseontheprairie]

I had an epi and a 3rd degree tear. I've also had a mild anterior prolapse.

Healed well, even though it looked like a battle field down there, and had 'experimental' sex at 7 weeks to find out how 'we are doing' and it was fine. Had sex again a few days later and this time I enjoyed it. No pain.

Good luck - I know far more people who have had good experiences than not with epis so I hope you're one of them.

[chelseabidwell1994]

fellow mum's,
I had a baby 3 months ago and had an infection for a while after trying tablets and then finally I got given a cream and it seemed to budge it,I had forceps and stitches and I had sex for the first time last night it was a little sore and I bled a little afterwards and I'm still bleeding slightly, I just wondered if anyone else experienced this and if it's normal I feel a little worried,oh and I'm breastfeeding too.
thank you all.

[FartnissEverbeans]

It's been six months and DH and I have tried again twice. We managed penetration once but not full sex. It feels very tight down there and I have a horrible sensitive patch. Fingers crossed we'Il get there soon though.

[smellsofelderberries]

I was about 9 weeks after and only had a first degree tear. OP, I would go to the GP and request a physio referral since you had forceps and you're still achy, you might need some help with your pelvic floor.

[chelseabidwell1994]

thank you very much I'll book an appointment and hope I get fixed up I hate this it's so painful and horrible :(

[capru]

4 weeks. Get a litre jug, lavender oil, and every time you need to go to the toilet bathe yourself in luke warm water with a couple of drops of lavender oil. Sorry if someone's already suggested this, I haven't had time to read all of the replies. If you're not certain, read up on the credentials of lavender oil.

[littlefurrysheep]

my baby is 3weeks1d. i had an episiotomy that is healing well. i can't contemplate having sex but I'm feeling the pressure