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Sex after episiotomy

(19 Posts)
BlackSwan77 Wed 26-Jan-11 21:57:08

Hi all,
I know there have been loads of threads about healing after an episiotomy/forceps delivery, but if you had this, how long before you resumed your sex life?

I know all women are different, but would be interested to get a vague idea!

I had a forceps delivery 10 weeks ago and have been on three courses of antibiotics as the wound keeps getting infected despite me being meticulous about personal hygiene. It's still very sore, a kind of deep pressure ache inside me rather than the superficial stinging I had at first and when my stitches went.

It seems a LOT of people who've had an epi lose their stitches, you'd think the doctors would by now find some better way of doing this awful procedure. I would have totally preferred a C-section than this, I begged for one in the hospital and they told me no way as it's major surgery. But having my ladygarden relandscaped has been psychologically totally hideous!

Thanks for advice

CuppaTeaJanice Wed 26-Jan-11 22:06:45

About 4 or 5 months, but that was more to do with lack of sleep, baby in same room, leaky boobs, general 'can't be bothered-ness' about sex than the epi scar.

On the plus side, once we did resume it, sex was much more comfortable than it had been pre-baby, and also I no longer get period pains.

herethereandeverywhere Wed 26-Jan-11 22:09:08

You have my sympathies, epi's are awful. I'm afraid I daren't have sex until 14 months after. I was just too damaged emotionally and psychologically as well as physically. Thankfully DH was very understanding.

Others on MN healed better and quicker than my experience though.

CoffeeDodger Wed 26-Jan-11 22:35:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummySerendipity Thu 27-Jan-11 00:21:28

8 weeks after an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear shock . Also fell pregnant 12 weeks after giving birth that way.... I hope you recover soon.

eyebrowqueen Thu 27-Jan-11 08:26:53

Swan, it takes such a long time to heal after epi /tearing. My forceps induced - baby with arm up 3rd degree came undone and I thought I was NEVER going to recover. Antibiotics etc etc. DRs kept discussing contraception and I was flabbergasted as it was the last thing on my mind!

Mummyserendipity my goodness!!

HOwever, you will heal. I did, I am practically good as new. Done the deed (4 and a half months)- it was a bit painful then it was fine.

I so understand the psychological trauma as well- I felt so vulnerable. I remember feeling it in the shower and crying with the awfulness of it. But try and be patient too - the tissue viability nurse I saw said my wound (!) would take months to heal. And it did take a while but it did heal in the end. Are you eating well and all that? BAsically that is what she said to me: eat well, rest, do a bit of moving to get blood flowing and give it an airing if poss. ( she didn't reccomend baths or anything) I used to have showers all bloody day instead of baths.

Metalhead Thu 27-Jan-11 08:51:49

First tried after 9 weeks but was still far too painful, despite everything looking like it had healed properly. Took 6 months for sex to be painless and enjoyable again!

BlackSwan77 Thu 27-Jan-11 10:06:15

Thanks everyone, I am thinking it'll be a few months yet. I don't even want nooky anyway as I'm so tired! But nice to know by this summer we might be back on track.

liquoriceandtomatoes Sat 29-Jan-11 17:59:42

Thanks for this thread. this is something on my mind a lot as my baby is nearly 4 months and I still haven't had sex post epi. I'm too afraid to in case it hurts or I find I've been stitched up too tightly (as I've read sometimes here). Plus, there's all the psychological stuff of not feeling the same, what went on down there after I got infected (one mw looked at my vagina post birth and looked really disgusted saying I needed to get it sorted etc

I feel like I've just switched of the sexual side to myself although it helps me to read others experience.

redandyellowandpinkandgreen Sat 29-Jan-11 21:56:13

8 weeks after epi and forceps delivery but reading this it looks I was lucky as I have healed well. The stitches hurt for about two weeks after and I wanted to wait for my 6 week check first.

I was worried about it but it didn't hurt in the end.

ethelina Sat 29-Jan-11 21:57:55

6 weeks postnatal, after my check up. My stitches had gone by 3 weeks. No biggie.

MadAboutQuavers Sat 29-Jan-11 22:07:10

I had an epi and a 3rd degree tear

Resumed sex life 5 weeks later, very comfortably, no pain

I think I was lucky too to have healed so quickly

littlehouseontheprairie Sun 30-Jan-11 10:20:59

I had an epi and a 3rd degree tear. I've also had a mild anterior prolapse.

Healed well, even though it looked like a battle field down there, and had 'experimental' sex at 7 weeks to find out how 'we are doing' and it was fine. Had sex again a few days later and this time I enjoyed it. No pain.

Good luck - I know far more people who have had good experiences than not with epis so I hope you're one of them.

chelseabidwell1994 Thu 04-May-17 10:29:37

fellow mum's,
I had a baby 3 months ago and had an infection for a while after trying tablets and then finally I got given a cream and it seemed to budge it,I had forceps and stitches and I had sex for the first time last night it was a little sore and I bled a little afterwards and I'm still bleeding slightly, I just wondered if anyone else experienced this and if it's normal I feel a little worried,oh and I'm breastfeeding too.
thank you all.

FartnissEverbeans Thu 04-May-17 18:46:52

It's been six months and DH and I have tried again twice. We managed penetration once but not full sex. It feels very tight down there and I have a horrible sensitive patch. Fingers crossed we'Il get there soon though.

smellsofelderberries Fri 05-May-17 11:28:30

I was about 9 weeks after and only had a first degree tear. OP, I would go to the GP and request a physio referral since you had forceps and you're still achy, you might need some help with your pelvic floor.

chelseabidwell1994 Fri 05-May-17 12:43:50

thank you very much I'll book an appointment and hope I get fixed up I hate this it's so painful and horrible sad

capru Fri 05-May-17 20:34:05

4 weeks. Get a litre jug, lavender oil, and every time you need to go to the toilet bathe yourself in luke warm water with a couple of drops of lavender oil. Sorry if someone's already suggested this, I haven't had time to read all of the replies. If you're not certain, read up on the credentials of lavender oil.

littlefurrysheep Sun 14-May-17 09:20:17

my baby is 3weeks1d. i had an episiotomy that is healing well. i can't contemplate having sex but I'm feeling the pressure sad

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