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I want DH to phone my family first. Is it ok for me to insist on it this time?

(4 Posts)
CrazyPlateLady Wed 24-Nov-10 20:23:27

Pregnant with DC2. Last time I asked DH (before the birth) if he could phone my Dad and my nan (she brought me up so like my mum) before he phoned his mum. I knew that they would want the basic info, me and baby were fine and they would leave it at that and let him get on. MIL would keep him on.

Reason being, DH has a pay as you go mobile, he put enough credit on but I know MIL. She would have kept him on the phone until the credit was all gone and he wouldn't stop talking to her to tell her he had to make other phone calls. Example, we were on our way out to antenatal class one evening and she phoned when DH was at the car and I was just walking out of the door (and we were running a bit late). I grabbed the phone and it was MIL. I said we were on our way out but she said she really needed to speak to DH, I thought something was wrong so went and got him. The news was nothing that couldn't have waited then she kept trying to start a conversation about other things knowing we were trying to get out of the door. After several attempts, DH mananged to get her off the phone. I knew after having a baby it would be the same.

I had DS in the mid afternoon. DH couldn't go and do phonecalls for a while as I was waiting to go to theatre and he was looking after DS when I was down there. By the time he got to it, it was 5 hours after I had given birth.

DH went outside, phoned his mum first. She kept him on the phone and all his credit was used (he had no change left for a pay phone at this point and he had put quite a bit of credit on his mobile anyway).

He drove to my nans then phoned my dad from there to tell them the news.

I wasn't overly happy as I wanted my family to know as soon as possible and I knew they would worry.

My grandad later told me that he wasn't very happy (with DH, I have never told him grandad said this) it had been left so long for them to find anything out as they were really starting to worry. We had to take DS back after 5 days to have his jaundice checked and my dad texted me to ask him to let him know as soon as possible "not 5 hours later" so I knew he hadn't been that happy about not finding out for so long.

AIBU to ask that this time, DH can actually phone my family and let them know? They are far more involved with me and DS anyway. We don't see that much of MIL and she doesn't bother too much, whereas I am at my nans all the time and we are very close. If I am able, I will phone myself as we are allowed mobiles in the maternity unit but am I being completely U for wanting DH to make a couple of quick calls before he gets into an epic conversation with his mum?

MmeLindt Wed 24-Nov-10 20:26:41


Normally I would say that his family are just as important, but if he is not able to cut his mum off and say that he has to phone your family too, then he should phone your family first.

pinkhebe Wed 24-Nov-10 20:28:49

I agree with Mme

MissMarjoribanks Wed 24-Nov-10 20:30:01

YANBU. I asked my DH to phone my family first after DS had been born and that's precisely what he did. And we had none of the issues with running out of credit or MIL keeping him talking. I just wanted my family to know first.

Didn't stop me being moaned at because DH didn't phone when I was being induced, but that's another story.... hmm

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