Please can I hear some positive birth stories after a previous traumatic delivery(9 Posts)
Hello, I am new to Mumsnet and wondered if anyone would like to share positive birth stories after a previous traumatic birth. I am pregnant with my second DC after suffering a horrible birth first time round. Induction, Long labour, prolonged pushing stage, failed ventouse, baby delivered by forceps after becoming distressed. I then had PPH and was rushed to theatre. My consultant has basically said that I can opt for a c-section if I really want to, but that he feels a vaginal delivery is the best option and reassured me that just because last time was difficult, second births are much easier. Also to consider my DS was over 9lbs and consultant helpfully told me this one is likely to be bigger!
So if anyone can share their experience, either vaginal birth or c-section 2nd time around it may help me to decide what to do!
I had a hard time first time around - more than 3 days of labour, had the whole epi, drip thing - luckily didn't need any further intervention but it was horrible and seemed to go on forever.
Second time round the whole thing was over in 1 hr 19 mins acording to my notes. Bit of a shock to be honest but so much easier!
I didn't believe people when they said the second time would be easier but it was. Almost like your body remembers what to do.
I have supported a few women (as a doula) after traumatic birth experiences. (Ceseareans and forceps mostly).
There are some stories on my website-
Have you considered a doula to support you?
You can search for ones in your area here-
if you haven't already had a look, Ina May's guide to childbirth has some beautiful birth stories in it. i keep dipping into it whenever i feel i need a boost.
I had a fairly horrible first birth (induction, waiting around for ages in hospital, epidural, meconium etc.) and second time was sooooo much better. Had a water birth at home with an independent midwife, no other pain relief and the whole thing was over in 4 hours. I think that having my own midwife to support me throughout the pregnancy, birth and postnatally made a huge difference. Even if that is not an option for you, I agree with June that anecdotally everyone seems to have a much easier time the second time round.
Have you had a debrief with a senior midwife? Most hospitals offer this service. The midwife will go with you through your notes - including stuff you may not have seen - from your previous labour, explaining what happened and why, and what else could or should have happened. Crucially, she is also there to listen to you and accept your perception and opinion of events. It is completely non-judgemental, and there is no right or wrong verdict at the end.
When I was about 36w pg with dc2, I spent 2h with what my hospital called the Liaison Midwife, going over dc's labour and birth. It was fantastic. I cried, I got angry, I felt ashamed, but the mw was totally accepting. By the end I felt so much better, and began to havd confidence in myself and in my body's ability to give birth. For the first time I looked forward to my second labour. Also, and very importantly, she gave me permission to say "No.". Now I know we know that we can say no - but it can be very difficult to do so when we are in a professional's territory.
When I arrived in hospital the very same midwives were on duty as had been for dc1's birth. I said "I want you" and "I don't want her to come anywhere near me.". My wishes were respected without comment and ungrudgingly.
Dc2's birth was as tough, disorientating, and draining as dc1's, but it was not at all distressing. I felt I was treated with a lot more compassion than previously. Even though it was the same team, minus two people.
And at the end of it, y'know what? I had forgotten the distress of my first birthing. Really - it was wiped away. I cannot remember bring distressed, only that it happened.
As for dc3, by that time I was on a roll! The lack of self-confidence that the first birthing had introduced was completely cancelled out by the second birthing. And I am convinced that that, plus the support and inspiration I received from Mmsnet, is what enabled me to calmly give birth to 11lb dc3and noteven need any stitches.
Believe in yourself
my first birth was induced,he had to be manually rotated,something they dont do now,too dangerous apparently..,then after 11 hours,I had to have forceps,and a large cut.he was 8lb 13 and a half..
son no2,was born after 3 hours,and 3 pushes,only a small cut and he was 9lb 2 and a half,lol,must add the half
I think once you have had one,things get a bit easier,so hopefully as you managed to bring a 9lb baby,you should be ok,to bring this one,you might need a few stitches,but the healing time is better than a cesar,good luck whatever you decide..
Hi everyone, thanks for your experiences and advice.
Selina-I hadn't considered a doula, but have briefly looked at the websites you linked and it's certainly worth considering. Need to look into the cost a bit more.
Pretty- I had no debrief or any kind of explaination really. The hospital were pretty poor and have since found out it was investigated as other births had caused trauma to mothers and babies. Am now under a different hospital who are keen to get my notes and go thru then with me. Hope that happens!
I was a bit sceptical of the dr when he said 2nd time is easier but it does generally seem to be the case from what's been said here and on other threads so fingers crossed that I'm not the exception!
I had a long and difficult labour first time, waters broke but contractions inefficient so was induced, edpidural not working, prolonged pushing stage and ventouse.
Second time around I went to hospital after a few hours of moderately contractions, mainly to get some space as in-laws arrived and DD1 woke up. DD2 was born within 2 hours of arriving into hospital with only gas and air.
I also know a friend who hired private midwifes for a NHS delivery and she loved them, especially the after-care.
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