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Clitoral stimulation during labour

(128 Posts)
chrispt Wed 22-Sep-10 01:01:42

Hi all

I'm a Dad to be (7th Oct)and have been researching all sorts of subjects with regards to natural pain relief for my wife. In my searches (from the run of the mill to the bizarre) i found one which, although not popular in all circles, intrigued me and inspired me to ask for thoughts.

Who has used clitoral stimulation during labour? Not necessarily to orgasm but as a distraction. Did it help? Anything that flagged up as better than other methods?

This will be our first child so we are planning on going to hospital.

I would assume the increase in oxytocin would help along with massage and breathing.

Any feedback would be gratefully received.

Many thanks
Chris

LastOrdersAgain Wed 22-Sep-10 01:05:02

The last thing I would've wanted was someone stood there rubbing my clit hmm

gingerkirsty Wed 22-Sep-10 01:10:15

I'm with LastOrders but Ina May Gaskin (midwifery guru and all round amazing person) says it works fantastically to help with dilation. Have a read of Spiritual Midwifery if you are really interested.

gingerkirsty Wed 22-Sep-10 01:11:31

PS that book was written in the 60's in a hippy commune setting though - I think your wife would have to be completely devoid of any inhibitions for it to work, given that often during labour there are other people in the room too!

savoycabbage Wed 22-Sep-10 01:53:46

I am crying with laughter at LastOrders, and I have just put on my mascara.

I honestly can't imagine anything worse. I almost ripped my dh's ear off during labour. Squeezing it seemed to help me no end. You should try that instead.

(goes off to reapply mascara........)

Monkeytoo Wed 22-Sep-10 04:35:06

But to second the Ina May Gaskin recommendation - she is still current and still practices I believe and still has amazing statistics for natural birth. She also recommends kissing which might be a more socially acceptable form of this in a hospital (not that that should matter though!). Might be worth your wife reading her book because it will just seem odd to her otherwise. It's a very empowering book that makes you believe you can labour naturally. I really like 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth' which was definitely updated in the last few years.

marenmj Wed 22-Sep-10 05:59:55

it would have annoyed me to no end. really REALLY annoyed me. actually, I take that back. I would have hurt DH. I would have wanted to shove an apple up his urethra and then see if he felt like a little fondle.

TBH, you might be better off learning some good massage techniques instead. My mother says the very best thing for natural labor she ever had (out of six times) was someone to give her back a good rub during the back contractions.

chimchar Wed 22-Sep-10 06:44:04

hey chris...you sound very lovely in wanting to support your wife, but i have to agree with the others here....i think i'd want to stab you!

in the immortal words of simon cowell, "its a no from me"

sarah293 Wed 22-Sep-10 06:55:59

Message withdrawn

rimsky Wed 22-Sep-10 11:30:09

I think you should discuss it with your wife and see if she's receptive to the idea because it is an individual choice. If she is open minded it may work, if she feels uncomfortable then maybe not.

If you are planning to spend an early part of labour at home I don't see why it's not worth giving it a shot.

I will be trying it with my impending birth! If it works I'll let you know...

warthog Wed 22-Sep-10 11:32:12

hahahhaahahhahaa

i think if anyone had tried that with me they'd have ended up with a black eye.

BooBooGlass Wed 22-Sep-10 11:34:43

I would have sat on you. Not in a good way.

mrspickles Wed 22-Sep-10 11:34:43

Hmmm well I have read about the effect of increasing endorphins/oxytocin in Ina May Gaskin's books but as someone who doesn't even like to have sex on top of the duvet cover, the idea of someone twiddling my clit in a labour room where god knows who might walk in at any minute makes me want to vom. Maybe maybe in very early labour at home, under that duvet, but to be honest I think a nice back massage and maybe some kissing would be much more preferable. Ina May Gaskin also mentions nipple stimulation. Agree with Rimsky this has to be up to your wife, and she won't know how she feels for definite until she is in labour.

lukewarmcupoftea Wed 22-Sep-10 11:35:32

<snort>

bless you for trying to help though

SirBoobAlot Wed 22-Sep-10 11:36:20

I don't think DP would have been stupid enough to suggest it.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 22-Sep-10 11:37:28

Bless you, OP.

I fear such intervention may not be welcome.

The midwife sent my partner out the room for a bit whilst i was in labour, as the sheer sight of him was annoying me so much. I think if he had tried that he would have had to visit A&E.

DuelingFanjo Wed 22-Sep-10 11:37:46

i think a lot of what Ina May talks about it to do with being relaxed so that your adrenalin doesn't slow down the labour.

have you spoken to your wife about this Chris. I would think she's the obvious person to talk to first.

AbiAbi Wed 22-Sep-10 12:18:51

Hmmm well my DH reached out his hand to stroke my face during the pushing stage, and I pulled it to my mouth- he assumed I was going to kiss it, I actually bit it and punctured the skin, and that was only him touching my face!

Wouldn't risk it if I was you!

QueenofDreams Wed 22-Sep-10 12:23:03

Um, no. Really this would not have felt good at all.

Second advice about back rubs though. DP's hands ached for DAYS after ds was born. He's said I'll have to stick with a tens machine this time as it hurt too much last time hmm

TheReturnoftheSmartArse Wed 22-Sep-10 12:29:12

Would you do this in front of the midwife, the docs, etc. Eeeewwwwww!

No, you'd get a punch from me too, I'm afraid. Although I'm sure you mean well ....!

ohmeohmy Wed 22-Sep-10 13:32:19

Getting the loved up hormones going is very beneficial for labour and will help your wife relax. It is also a good way to encourage labour to start if you are getting impatient or people are muttering about inductions. Lots of snogging and caressing of the skin inc nipples can achieve the same effect if she does not want to be touched elsewhere. Use your intimate knowledge of what your wife likes and follow her lead at the time and you will be a great birth partner. You are perfectly entitled to ask for some privacy wherever you give birth.

Stroking the back lightly with the backs of your fingertips starting at the base and working up in V pattern to shoulders can feel great.

Your wife won't know how she will feel till the time, keep in tune with her, support her and advocate for her and you'll be great. Best wishes for your birth.

RaisedFromPerdition Wed 22-Sep-10 13:37:35

My entire bottom half was stimulated enough with the small person ripping its way into independent existence. I didn't need anybody else having a go.

Tootingbec Wed 22-Sep-10 13:46:29

Sorry but I am with the "no way" posters! Couldn't bare DH rubbing my back let alone rubbing anywhere else! Oh but you sound so lovely for wanting to try and help your partner! Personally best thing my DH did for me was badger the midwives to get me an epidural.

Labour hurts like fuck (although curiously it is also rather exciting in a bonkers way) and the best thing you can do on the day is follow your DW's mood/requests as and when. Good to have a plan but honestly you and her will need to go with the flow on the day.

This is going to sound rude but you have given me a good laugh this afternoon

nancydrewrocked Wed 22-Sep-10 13:50:58

Wouldn't have worked for me - my MW kept getting oils etc so DH could massage my back but I go into a "don't come anywhere near me" mode when in labour.

I have however seen the most amazing video called "orgasmic birth" where woman orgasm during labour sometimes as a rsult of clitoral stimulation from their partner. Looks quite an amazing way to give birth if you can....

Iklboo Wed 22-Sep-10 13:56:57

I can imagine the conversation chez iklboo

Me:'ooh Christ I'm in labour. Ooh. Ouch. etc'

DH: 'Never mind dear, have a wank to take your mind off things. It'll help the labour along splendidly'.

THUD

Me: 'Is that the ambulance? Well, yes I'm in labour, but it's not for me. I've just laid out DH with the frying pan'

Snogging while in labour? I'd have probably bitten the poor bugger's tongue off. And I could do without him getting a stiffy while I was in agony too grin

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