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baby pictures on social media

(15 Posts)
emy80 Wed 19-Nov-14 08:52:13

Interested to hear other mums thoughts on this. I have a 4month old and really feel that I should have a say about what pictures are posted of her, however family and friends think I'm being a control freak! Its not just the security issue, but i feel she has no say so i should be her voice. Peoples thoughts?

SummerVacation Wed 19-Nov-14 13:17:48

It's a very personal subject, you should go with whatever you feel is right.

For myself I like to see family and friends sharing photo's of events. When I was a child myself I'd have photo's taken at my parties and other activities and it's nice to look back on them whether it was an auntie or cousin or whoever took the snap and I don't mind them sharing them because I'm just a proud parent.

But that's just me. If you don't want others to have or share photo's of your child then you should tell them I think.

emy80 Wed 19-Nov-14 14:36:09

Thanks, its good hearing you say that, as i also said events and occasions are different but don't want a constant stream of uploads as i feel uncomfortable. Glad I don't sound totally crazy then!

NormaStits Thu 20-Nov-14 09:33:54

I've just come on to start a thread like this.

My feeling is that I wouldn't want every embarrassing childhood photo of me available for all the friends of my parents' friends to see. So if I allow my friends and family to post pictures of my (not quite yet born) baby, that's what I'm allowing to happen. It won't be her choice, by the time she's old enough to decide if she wants her photos online, there will already be hundreds there.

But I don't know how to manage it? I'm going to tell my stepchildren to create a 'proper friends only' album for photos of her, so that every Tom, Dick and Harry that they've decided to friend on FB can't see the photos. (They are very indiscriminate about who they friend and at 18 that's their prerogative.)

I also have nieces, cousins, aunties etc on FB and I just don't know how to limit what they post?

To put it into context, I have about 35 friends on Facebook, people who are carefully chosen, who will have close contact with my child anyway. I only have 3 photos of myself on there. So I won't be posting endless baby photos and the ones I do put up will be visible to only close friends and family.

emy80 Thu 20-Nov-14 17:02:30

My little girl is four months and i have came off Facebook and just send private pictures, but i have found it difficult as some people think you are being odd if you ask that a picture doesn't go on Facebook. I don't mind special occasions, but i cant control other people's security settings. It is tough though, I've already had a run in with my in laws who posted private pictures i had emailed them online!

sparklyandbright Thu 20-Nov-14 17:06:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emy80 Thu 20-Nov-14 17:18:44

Yeah, once on line they are there forever! I have found it quite a battle getting people to understand but i just keep saying I'm her mum and I'm doing what makes me comfortable. I have def changed my opinion since my little girl was born

Petallic Thu 20-Nov-14 17:24:54

It's entirely your choice. I don't have a huge family and so don't have endless photos shared of the DC however I do like to see photos of events that I might have otherwise missed and in my mind everyone has family who pull out the family photo album and embarrassing photos get shared with all our nearest and dearest anyway? Facebook is just the modern equivalent. If a random baby photo shows up on a friend of friends timeline then I'm ok with that. But equally I'm happy to respect the wishes of others when posting photos on Facebook too.

emy80 Thu 20-Nov-14 17:29:08

Yeah, i agree. Each to their own and i would always respect what the parents want.

NormaStits Thu 20-Nov-14 23:04:20

I don't think it's the same as family albums. If my stepchildren post a photo of tthe new sibling, the photo is distributed the every single person they ever wen to primary school with, secondary school, 6th form college, uni, every current and past workmate, and some people they've just met on a night out. One has over 1000 friends. I don'twant the photos to be shown to that wide an audience. I disagree with their choice of 'friends' online, but as adults the are free to make that choice. My baby doesn't get the choice over everyone seeing all those photos.

Extend that logic to my cousins, nieces, aunties, that's a lot of strangers seeing photos of my baby. Some might be cute but that's just what we think, she might not feel the same when she's older but she'll have no control over it.

fanjobiscuits Thu 20-Nov-14 23:12:49

I am totally with you, OP. we don't post pics online and it annoys me enormously that: a. People will just post pics of other people online without permission, and b. Seem to think you are odd and even become offended if asked not to.

emy80 Fri 21-Nov-14 07:04:33

Yeah, I have found that people think I'm being to controlling and it annoys me they don't just respect my decision. As I said earlier, i send private pictures to my family and my in laws posted these on fb. I was upset and asked they be removed as they were my private pics of my baby. They just think I'm being awkward. I honestly feel like when they put her pic on, it is to see how many likes they get as that's all they talk about! I am a teacher, and when she was 5 weeks old a student created a fake profile of me, to ask other teachers to be friends. They used some pics with my baby in and i was heartbroken. Since then, i am just so uneasy, but understand I'll never have complete control

Camsie30 Fri 21-Nov-14 07:14:40

Read the website T&Cs. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (owned by Facebook) own any image posted to their site. Even if you delete your profile they still have that ownership. I don't like that at all.
The safest place to share photos is flikr as the poster keeps their ownership, it was created for photographers.
I don't own my baby's image, it's theirs, and when they are old enough to decide if they want their photos on Facebook then it will be their choice. I will share photos privately but not in social media.
I have a cousin who posts a picture of her son every time he takes a breath and quite frankly it's really boring! We know the kid is cute but stop living his life through a lens!!!

emy80 Fri 21-Nov-14 07:49:08

Haha! It drives me mad the amount of baby pictures some people post, it definitely becomes dull! I. Didn't realise that about ownership, thanks for informing me. That's actually quite scary!

bluehearted Fri 21-Nov-14 08:01:48

I post pictures of my dc on fb sometimes, I doubt that in 18 years time they are going to be embarrassed that I put a picture up of them as a newborn so I could share with my friends a happy moment. I also doubt that I'll still have a fb or a fb that is similar to what we have today! Things could be very different then!

I have googled both my dc and NO pictures or information appears. I always ask before putting a picture up with another child in, I respect a parents right to say no.

I am not a bad parent for sometimes sharing a picture on Facebook. It's so personal and people shouldn't be judged for doing so!!

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