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facebook account for girl age 13 in a different name

(11 Posts)
5U5 Mon 23-Aug-10 19:35:15

I am being pestered by my 12 year old wanting a facebook account. She is happy to wait until it is legal, for her in 3 months time. I want her to have an account in a made up name as I am worried about the things i hear about universities, employers and the like looking at facebook accounts and making judgements about indivisduals according to what they see.
Have i been sucked into a false belief here, am I being unreasonabl? - my daughter says it would be so uncool not to have her own name.
Any advice would be gratefully recieved.
Thank you

lisad123isgoingcrazy Mon 23-Aug-10 19:39:00

Its possible to make it private but tbh i wouldnt let her do it at all, but i am an evil mummy! LOL

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave Mon 23-Aug-10 19:39:32

More sensible to teach her now the importance of Facebook privacy settings, how to set them, and the general principle of "do not post online anything you wouldn't be happy to have printed up on posters and plastered on every lamppost in your town".

If a future university or employer were to look on FB they'd be likely to do it by email address anyway.

sleepingsowell Mon 23-Aug-10 20:09:54

Make the settings 'friends only'.

I think it's probably fine to let her have the account but to ensure she knows how to use it in a sensible way...agree with professor that she needs to know that she shouldn't put anything too personal on there even to friends.

I think the key to facebook is to keep it very superficial.

00000001 Wed 25-Aug-10 23:49:49

Do what you will but if a pedophile stalks your daughter or something else sinister like that you can not sue facebook as you fraudulenty singed a legaly binding document which may cause a counter claim of wier fraud your choice

catinthehat2 Thu 26-Aug-10 00:03:19


differentnameforthis Thu 26-Aug-10 07:43:25

Own name
Highest privacy settings
Regular checks
Being monitored
having her password (being a friend on her list is not enough, as she can stop you seeing stuff)

All set. Don't see why people hate FB, you can be as anon & as safe as you want to be, if you put the time & effort in!

bruffin Thu 26-Aug-10 08:45:26

It's not actually "cool" to have your own name on facebook at your daughters age. I assume you set it up in your own name but my DCs and their friends change their names on a daily basis. Usually by adding a funny middle name, but DD had a completely different surname for a few weeks.

roisin Thu 26-Aug-10 09:08:32

I insisted ds1 wait until he was 13 (last month), but am happy for him to use his own name. If you lock it down with the highest privacy settings then no-one else can access the information except friends that he invites/accepts.

Crapmodem Wed 20-Oct-10 12:56:02

Of course the kids must be allowed to join the big wide world of Facebook when ready. But never forget that the vast majority of abuse is from someone known to the victim (uncle, teacher, youth group leader).

This means that, no matter how high the privacy settings, there is a risk that a potentially dangerous person would automatically be allowed access to the profile.

Risky and worrying - but then so is crossing the road I guess.


rationality Fri 03-Dec-10 13:11:56

When I applied to join the Police they asked me if I was a member of any social networking sites and, if so, under what name.

Not wanting either my university or the police force to have a proper look at my profile, I had a quick fiddle with the privacy settings.

Facebook has succumbed to pressure from organisations such as this and actually come out with some pretty strong and decent privacy settings. If you have your own facebook account, I recommend you have a look at them (Account -> Privacy settings) ALSO IMPORTANT make sure you click "View settings" next to "Control basic information your friends will use to find you on Facebook."

That way you can choose how people search for and find your daughter.

If I make any recommendations it is this - teach your daughter the basic rules of internet usage and moniter her usage yourself. Facebook is a fun and interactive medium that is pretty much vital for any sort of social life these days. However YES there are unsavoury types using it and also using other things such as Stickam, myspace etc (I for one will never let any daughters have a webcam).

There's no need for her to use an assumed name - so long as both you and her are sensible.

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