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DD(11) says she's always sad. When and how to get help?

(12 Posts)
Schulte Wed 11-Nov-20 13:12:02

DD is 11 and has just started secondary school. She's said a few times over the past few months that she 'always feels sad' - she's finding it hard to put into words but I think she feels nobody really understands her, she's having trouble to connect with classmates and she doesn't have any close friends.

Her behaviour seems normal, she will sing and dance and play and she sleeps well, but every now and then she tells me she's just not feeling happy. She says she's been feeling like this for a long time, two years perhaps, so it's not directly connected to Covid or the school change.

I can think of a few things that might make her feel this way - she has myriad health issues and she started puberty very early, with her first period when she had only just turned 11. However, I'm out of my depth, not sure how to help her.

She has said she'd like help but I don't know where to start. It doesn't seem 'bad enough' to take to the GP just yet but what other options are there?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

OP’s posts: |
Sparkletastic Wed 11-Nov-20 13:14:01

Having similar with DD14 but she disclosed to her form tutor. Talk to school and GP and ask latter for CAMHS referral.

Schulte Wed 11-Nov-20 13:15:37

Thanks. Do you think in the meantime she'd benefit from talking to a helpline? And if so which is best?

OP’s posts: |
swashbucklecheer Wed 11-Nov-20 13:27:37

Does her school have a councillor she could talk to? I know ours operates a drop in service for those who want to make use of it.

Schulte Wed 11-Nov-20 13:29:56

Not entirely sure - I will email the teacher in charge of pastoral care and ask... thanks so much everyone!

OP’s posts: |
Sparkletastic Wed 11-Nov-20 13:51:48

CAMHS can signpost you to talking and text services but you have to get DD referred to them first. They deal with requests for referrals quickly in my area and you will likely get a good 1 hour assessment but if DD then wants counselling there is a v long waiting list. DD's school has trainee counsellors that pupils can see so ask about that. CAMHS can also refer back to primary care for CBT if that might help your DD. Is she sleeping and eating ok? Any trouble with friendships or at school in general?

Sparkletastic Wed 11-Nov-20 13:54:35

Sorry I've re-read your post and can see she has problems with friends and health. My DD also has health issues and this can help add 'weight' to the CAMHS referral. Step 1 is contact school and make GP appointment. My DD can be quite withdrawn so I've had to build in more 1:1 time to encourage her to talk to me.

Schulte Wed 11-Nov-20 14:18:13

Thank you Sparkletastic! So new to all this... but it's good to see there's help and it's accessible...

OP’s posts: |
anonpotato Sun 15-Nov-20 17:34:52

Hi, when I visited the GP in January due to being depressed for months beforehand, they recommend IAPT which is a talking therapy and due to the pandemic they can do phone appointments because since she’s young they are less likely to offer her medication unless she tries a talking therapy (this is just from my experience). There’s also shout which is a text service where she could type down how’s she feeling ( and from my knowledge it’s free and she can be
anonymous if she doesn’t want to tell them her name etc. I hope this helps smile

anonpotato Sun 15-Nov-20 17:37:42

If she is interested in trying out IAPT smile

Schulte Mon 16-Nov-20 09:49:26

Ah thank you! I've spoken to the GP and he says since the waiting list for referrals is so long and her issue small compared to children who self harm etc, we'd be better off starting with some free online counselling. He recommended Kooth and I'm looking into other options too... Childline seems good... I think it would help her to talk on the phone to someone. Can anyone recommend the best platform for this, seeing how young she is? A lot of these services seem to be aimed at slightly older teens...

OP’s posts: |
anonpotato Mon 16-Nov-20 10:14:09

I know Samaritans offers a free 24/7 phone service smile

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