Son's Toilet Habits

[TheRugbyValkyrie]

I'm not really sure where to post this, so if it is in the wrong place, will someone point me in the right direction?
In springtime I noticed the smell of urine in one of the built in cupboards downstairs. I blamed the dog and spent ages cleaning around the door and bottom of the cupboard. The smell lingered.
Coincidentally, I thought, the dog must have urinated in my son's bedroom. It's directly above the cupboard.
Weeks later, we are doing a bedroom swap and my son's room is completely empty but still smelling of urine. I can see a very large patch on the floorboards where it has soaked up a lot of urine. It dawns on me that it isn't the dog but my son.
Angry and anguished pleas as to why he was doing this followed and the only answer he could give was that he couldn't be bothered to go downstairs to use the toilet , but I'm still not sure that is the entire explanation.
I spoke to him about the damage he had done and he seemed to take it all in.
Fast forward to this week and I am going through the same thing in his new room. This time it is much worse and he has also been peeing into an empty storage box that was under his bed. He also managed to pee on some of his older brother's stuff that was being stored there.
My son has given the same reason as before.
If he were 4 or 5 and starting to sleep through with no nappy, I could understand but he is 13!
Please help, I can't seem to get through to him.
And I'm sorry for the lengthy post.

[ShovingLeopard]

What's making you think this is a mental health problem?

[Bigonesmallone3]

OP doesn't necessarily think that, she said she wasn't sure where to post!

Do u think it's a laziness thing? What's he doin in his room that he can't drag himself away from? Or something more, I have a 9 year old boy and would be mortified!
How about if u tell him that ur going to the GPs..

[hendricksy]

How bizarre, I'd be bloody furious with him . My son is non verbal and has SN and 7 and he can use a toilet and wouldn't dream of doing that !!
I'd be inclined to get him a bucket that he can empty in the morning if he really wouldn't stop. He will ruin your house and make it unsellable if it smells of urine !!

[MashNpeas]

I'd be inclined to say you've booked a Drs appointment for 7-10 days time (call his bluff) as you're seriously concerned about that behaviour and see if the problem miraculously solves itself.... if it doesn't I'd be actually tempted to talk it through with GP to see if there was anything underlying causing that behaviour

[PotteringAlong]

That’s unusual. I would take him to the Dr’d too.

[thewinehasgonetomyhead]

I agree with mash.

Go to the shop and buy some pull ups and tell him he can wear those if he can’t be bothered to go to the toilet.

How frustrating for you OP.

[ShovingLeopard]

Fair enough, bigones, I wasn't trying to be the thread police, it's just I didn't see OP mentioning any attempts to discipline him so it seemed to back up the idea she was viewing it as a mental health issue.

I think telling him you and he will be discussing it with the dr is a good idea. OP, have you threatened/carried out consequences? If so, how has he responded?

[ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName]

Threaten with the doctor. What a grim thing to be doing. And yes, but him a bucket. I bet once you say you’re going to talk it through with a professional he suddenly stops.

[CaptainKirksSpookyghost]

Is he awake when he does it?
Could he be being abused?
A camping potty would be a short term solution.

[CaptainKirksSpookyghost]

Also say you are going to talk it through with his school.

[wonderwomanfromthenorth]

That is so very odd and I would be concerned! It doesn't seem like it could just be laziness? Are there any other issues? Is he fine with going to the toilet in general? Is he struggling to get there on time and is too embarrassed to say?

I would tell him you are concerned about it and going to the GP and take him to the GP regardless of whether he stops, could be urine infection??

I wouldn't humiliate him with pull ups, or the bucket, getting to the root cause seems key here, is it really something a 13 year old would do to be naughty!?

[IceRebel]

I'm guessing he doesn't do it at school, or if staying with others so I would also assume it was laziness. I definitely agree with previous posters and I would be booking a doctors appointment to discuss it with him there.

[thewinehasgonetomyhead]

Maybe something has spooked him downstairs?

[ourkidmolly]

My friend's son used to frequently piss in any receptacle available when he was gaming. Disgusting but not hugely rare. Is he gaming? When I was at uni my neighbour in my halls used to piss in his sink in his room constantly and was totally up front about it. Some people (more often men) have a low hygiene mark. I'd punish severely.

[Babyboysarenowbig]

@TheRugbyValkyrie

Different train of thought- he hasn’t been watching horror films/scary films any scary on YouTube? That has made him afraid to go downstairs to the toilet at night?