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Child mental health

DS 11 & misophonia (sp)

11 replies

Dhalandchips · 03/06/2018 20:21

My beautiful ds is getting worse when people are eating. He sits with a finger in one ear and eats with the other hand. He's had a massive meltdown this evening resulting in him just not eating his supper and stomping off to his room, screaming and crying. I'm at a loss as to how best to manage this situation when it happens. There is no sn, although he is very stressed about the breakup of me and his dad. The misaphonia started when he was about 8. Any guidance would be hugely appreciated.

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CaptainBrickbeard · 03/06/2018 20:29

I had/have this but never knew a word for it - or that anyone else experienced it - until MN. It’s awful, really torturous and is worse when I’m stressed. The rage it produces on me is overwhelming and it really affected my relationships growing up with family members that I could not tolerate being near when they were eating. Eating together is such a fundamental, sociable bonding thing and it was ruined by me and my uncontrollable reaction. Even now, I feel it swelling sometimes and I find an excuse to leave the room when my son is eating peanut butter on toast.

I have never sought help for it - I thought it was just part of being a horrible person when I was a teenager and no one understood! But strategies that help are to create other noise - so playing music at mealtimes for example. That can drown out the eating sounds. I don’t know what to suggest long term. Mine wasn’t caused by any trauma though, is just one of those things.

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RandomMess · 03/06/2018 20:32

Do you put music on when you all eat? That really helps in our house.

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Dhalandchips · 03/06/2018 20:35

Yes, tried music, and TV on loud but tonight's reaction was off the wall. I so want to help him. And I don't believe for one minute you're a horrible person captain Brickbeard. It just strikes me as incredibly stressful. What do think might have helped you? (Sorry, don't know how to tag)

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RandomMess · 03/06/2018 20:38

I'd probably either let him eat on his own or where headphones. Meanwhile work on his anxiety as best you can

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CaptainBrickbeard · 03/06/2018 21:02

Thanks, I felt like a horrible person, just being so angry with everyone for eating! It’s so unreasonable but so hard to control. The only thing that helped me was music so if that’s not working, I wonder if there is any help he can get - I know mental health services are very stretched. I just wonder if something like CBT could help? I’ve learned to manage my reactions better, calm down, remove myself when necessary - but if I was stuck in a traffic jam on a bus with someone beside me chewing gum for example, I would go nuts. What about ear plugs?

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IlikemyTeahot · 03/06/2018 21:05

watching with interest for a solution have a partner and child with this issue it's driving me mad with the child screaming and losing control at normal things

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Dhalandchips · 03/06/2018 21:33

Headphones sounds like a plan. You're right, we're conditioned to see eating together as the done thing but if isolation helps him cope, then it will do until I can get some professional help. I haven't wanted to take him to GP because I know how stretched they are and this seemed fairly trivial (I feel rotten now for saying that as he's clearly becoming more distressed) but yes, I need to get him some help. Thanks all.

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FranksBobot · 03/06/2018 21:50

I suffer from this and it is the worst. DH doesn't understand and thinks I'm exaggerating.
I now eat separately to others or use headphones at home. When out and about I have small noise reducing ear plugs and have my hair down so I don't appear rude. I can no longer go to the cinema as the rage gets to me really bad there.
I've never asked the docs for help as it just seems daft to people. I don't think they would understand how bad it gets.

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RockinHippy · 03/06/2018 21:53

My daughter has suffered with this & I can get it too, so it feel for you & your DS. Noisy cancelling headphones are definitely the way to go, they help my daughter concentrate if she's having a flare up.

I would also suggest getting his B12 checked by his doctor. This was an early sign of deficiency for my daughter & me. B12 injections help a lot.

Info here... www.b12deficiency.info/

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RockinHippy · 03/06/2018 21:57

Oh & look into giving him lots of Magnesium such as Epsom salts baths, this can help soothe his nerves & id recommend joining the CBDuk group on Facebook for advice on dosage of CBD oil for him. It's been a godsend for my daughters anxiety & SPD type stuff. We've found a SAD lamp helps too

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Dhalandchips · 15/08/2018 09:32

I've just asked to join the CBD group, it's not something I've heard of, but prepared to try anything. Thing have deteriorated since the pair of them (dd9 too) have started seeing their dad more frequently. Last night DD went ballistic at a tomato pip from her friend hitting her arm. Then she sat and sobbed. Not exactly misaphonia but a definite anxiety thing. Do I take them to GP and ask for a referral? They are both so bloody stressed and I feel clueless as to how to help them. Things have been fine(ish) up until the dad visits.