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Advice please?

(1 Post)
TitsalinaBumSqoosh Sun 15-Oct-17 21:14:31

My DS2 is 11 and this weekend he been a real tough one.
Some background info.

DS is selectively mute, he won't talk to adults and most children, he picks people (not sure why he chooses who he chooses) and those people he will talk to.

He is in school and is fine at school, now finally in yr 6 hrs managed to make friends, this has been hard for him and we moved his school 2 yrs ago due to severe bullying.

He manages ok at school, he talks to his teacher enough to get by and he's averaging at all academic stuff.

He has an explosive temper at home, he can go from 0 - smashing up the house in seconds.

He has an obsession with fairness and what he perceives to be fair.

He goes through phases of obsessive hobbies, he'll consume a topic so thoroughly until he knows everything and then drop it.

I have been conceded about ASD and saw our SENCO, she put me in touch with the family link worker who spent a term with DS and said he's a very pessimistic person and he is very negative about himself, she said it was just his nature but it was hard to make any firm judgments or give advice because he wouldn't speak to her and wasn't willing to write or draw etc to communicate.

They got an art therapist in, she immediately thought he had quite significant ASD (she was an assessor for CAMHS and works in a school for children with SEN) she advised me to go to the GP and ask for a referral.

GP wrote a referral to CAHMS who turned it down and said to go back to the family link worker.

It's become apparent though art therapy after getting me into sessions that his problem lies with how much time he gets with me, my older DS has a severe health condition which means we have to stay in hospital and I have to spend time doing the daily medical routine with DS1. We also have DS2 and DD, both a lot younger so need more time.
I also work.
I try to make as much time for him as I can, I really do. Some of this time HAS to be shared with siblings though, I'm not superwoman!

Tonight we've reached a bad point, he has been vile to his siblings all weekend, he talks to everyone like we're something he's walked in on his shoe and it won't be tolerated, he was asked to please go to his bedroom and think about how he can talk to people in a nicer way.
That kicked off an almighty meltdown, he was smashing the place up so I shut his door and walked away until he'd calmed down.
When I went back in he started saying he didn't want to be here and he was going to kill himself if I left the room again. sad

I don't know what to do with him, I can't do much more, his father has him once every other weekend but he doesn't speak to his dad or stepmum at all.

I'm going to speak to family link again tomorrow and ask if there is any other help I can access because I don't know how to deal with these meltdowns.

Any advice would be so helpful,

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