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How do I help? Or do I just butt out .... ??

(5 Posts)
MrsExpo Wed 31-May-17 21:23:27

My friend's teenage DD has been suffering from severe MH issues for some time including self harming and other problems. Following a recent set of adverse issues involving a complete moron of a "boyfriend" relationship she has, unfortunately now been admitted to a psychiatric unit and my friend has no idea how long her DD is likely to be there. The girl is now in a safe place and receiving treatment which hopefully will help her. My concern is actually for my friend. Whilst everyone is focused on helping her DD get better, she's struggling. I have absolutely no experience of a similar situation myself, but are there any support systems, organisations or groups anywhere for parents to access to help them support their children? Is there anything I could/should (or should not!!) do/say to help her through what is a hugely worrying and stressful time for her. Put simply, I just feel like I want to help (but not intrude) but have no idea about, or experience of, what she's going through. All advise or insights welcome. Many thanks.

dglv Wed 31-May-17 21:29:15

Sometimes the simple things work? Try inviting her round for a cup of tea or coffee and giving her a chance to get it all out?

OhTheRoses Wed 31-May-17 21:37:34

Just be there. Non judgemental and lovinh. And no, there is no formal help or support for parents thus affected. If MH services for young people were available preventstative interventions might have been available.

Thank you for supporting your friend. Just be there flowers

MrsExpo Thu 01-Jun-17 08:26:33

Thank you for the replies. I've spent a lot of time listening, offering tea and sympathy and generally giving her somewhere she can off-load, and will continue to do so, of course. I'm quite shocked to learn that there is nowhere she can go for help herself. I think she would benefit from sharing her experiences with other parents in similar situations. (That's just a personal view .... as I said, I'm just a by-stander really who is seeing a lovely, strong and capable woman being brought to her knees with worry and feeling helpless).

Newtothis11 Tue 06-Jun-17 21:15:42

What a lovely friend you are. Sounds like you're doing the right things, ask how she is and give her space to talk about her daughter. There's no right and wrong things you can say.

The inpatient unit may run parent groups - some do some don't. Your friends DD will have a key worker she can talk to, and there may also be a family therapist involved.

If she was known to camhs before hand your friend could talk to the link worker there.

The young minds website has a parent section (and I think they may have an online forum for parents to share their experiences).

If your friend is struggling with her own mh, it may be worth encouraging her to see gp for herself.

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