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Help. 6 yr old with behavioural problems

(8 Posts)
user1488408666 Tue 16-May-17 16:17:51

Hi.
Newbie on here and dad rather than mum.

I need a bit of advice and reassurance.

Long story short my eldest daughter (6) is displaying worrying behaviour.

She is generally loving and happy but her mood turns at an instant.

If she doesn't get her own way she will suddenly turn round and tell you she hates you. She will hiss and growl at you and sometimes even spit and will punch and scratch.

She won't listen to anyone once she is in that mind set and takes an age to calm down.

She had a really tough year last year.
I work shifts as a police officer and her mum was working permanent night shifts just to make ends meet which meant she was being pushed from pillar to post between me, her mum (we are together) and both grandmothers. We were hardly ever together as a family.

We moved from the south up to the north in September 2006 and her initial behaviour at school caused teachers to flirt with the idea of a child psychologist referral.

Slowly her behaviour improved dramatically until just last week I was telling a friend that her difficulties seemed to have sorted themselves out (although she is prone to the odd outburst).

Today when picking her up from school I was pulled aside by the teachers and told basically she had been just awful.

This morning when getting her ready for school she just went crazy out of nowhere and spat at me. I did over react and went ballistic at her. She knows that spitting is wrong and I can't stand it.

She had an argument with another girl over a hair clip and has been growling and hissing at teachers when asked to sit by the fence after she was naughty and kept walking off.

She was eventually taken to sit with the head and took 30 minutes to calm down.

What 6 year old gets sent out of class?

The teachers are once again suggesting educational psychologists.

Am happy to get her referred and am fully supportive of the school but I just don't know what to do anymore.

She just won't listen to anyone. I have tried everything from super super nice to super super angry and nothing works.

I feel like a terrible failure.

It's honestly easier dealing with the violent prisoners at work than dealing with my own daughter as there is just no reasoning with her.

Any suggestions?

Wolfiefan Tue 16-May-17 16:20:58

Sounds really difficult.
What happens when she behaves like this? What consequences are there? Can you give her alternative suggestions of how she could express these feelings? It's ok to be angry but not scratch and growl.

user1488408666 Tue 16-May-17 16:21:40

2016 not 2006

2014newme Tue 16-May-17 16:22:29

She's been through lots of change.
You Aren't dealing with the behaviour consistently, nice/angry.
I'd go ahead with the referral and focus on stability and consistency.

AtrociousCircumstance Tue 16-May-17 16:25:41

That's a whole lot of upheaval and change for a little person. You haven't failed, it's just what it is. She needs support and help and love to get through this. And you need support and advice too.

I think accept the help on offer from the psychologist and see her reaction as her own normal reaction to her own stress: she needs help finding alternative ways to cope with her emotions.

RebelRogue Tue 16-May-17 16:35:37

What 6 year old gets sent out of class?

Quite a few,for various reasons, SEN,ASD,ADHD, anger issues,attention seeking,having a shit day or unhappy at home etc.

For whatever reason,your child is not happy right now. She's also very angry. Work with the school,talk to her when she is in a good mood. Find out if there's anything bothering her,what triggers the behaviour etc.

RebelRogue Tue 16-May-17 16:41:26

Btw it's pointless to argue with a child that is in that mindset. As long as she's not harming herself or others,let her be,and once she's calmed down talk about what happened,what behaviour is expected,consequences etc.
Doing it while she's raging,raising your voice to get heard and so on,will only fuel her anger more.

notapizzaeater Tue 16-May-17 17:02:25

Hopefully the EP will see your dd and help school. How are school dealing with her ?

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