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Dad's too busy to see her - how to help 3 year old

(3 Posts)
NooNooMummy Thu 20-Apr-17 11:46:00

Since everyone is talking about mental health this week, I'm wondering again how best to help my DD (age 3).

Brief background - her dad and I separated almost a year ago. He'd been a hands on dad and they had a close relationship. He effectively abandoned her - no interest, no phonecalls, not saying hello to her when we arrived for the sporadic contact that he had for a few months. He's not seen her or spoken to her for. Nearly 6 months now. He lives a 2 minute walk away from us. DD has been there, she knows he lives nearby.

How do I help her understand what's happened? How do I answer her questions?

I asked the GP for a referral if there was any support that I could get for her eg some age appropriate talking therapy? This resulted in a phone conversation with a mental health worker who suggested that I contact CAFCAS. I've had a look at their site but not sure how they could help.

I'm not making a big deal about it. And now that things have settled down, DD seems happy and is thriving - much more confident and outgoing. I've explained gently that some grown ups are just silly and her daddy is silly for being so busy and that it's not her fault.

But I worry for her. And nursery told that she'd said she spent Easter with her daddy and went to a big party with him. (She didn't!!)

Is thee anything I should be doing?

Blossom789 Sat 22-Apr-17 20:11:56

Have you spoken to her dad about this? I guess if he is wanting contact and could commit even if once a month DD would have some sort of relationship with him. She clearly wants a relationship with him due to what she's been saying. (I know you should t have to persuade him into this).

If that's not going to happen, reassuring her in the way you are is great. Her knowing your there and you're a solid person is what she needs. counselling when she's a little older may be useful for now just talking to the nursery staff or family is just fine.

NooNooMummy Sun 23-Apr-17 17:06:46

Thank you

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