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8 year old convinced he is ugly

(5 Posts)
ilovesushi Mon 10-Apr-17 09:31:49

My beautiful 8yr old son is somehow convinced that he is ugly. I only put two and two together the other day. He has been wearing his reading glasses all the time at school and whenever he leaves the house. He hates having his hair cut and wants it long and shaggy over his face. It finally struck me that he is hiding behind the glasses and the hair. I asked him about it and it finally came out that he thinks he is ugly. I've told him that he's lovely looking inside and out, which he is, but he doesn't believe a word I say. When I asked him if he thought I would lie to him he said I would tell a white lie so as not to hurt his feelings. He also has other irrational thoughts about his body and being fat, he is super skinny and eats very little. His self esteem in general is not brilliant. He has various SEN issues and struggles at school. I want to get this under control as I am scared it could snowball. My thoughts are initially to talk to his teacher, but what else? Would focusing too much attention on it actually hurt more than help?

Afreshstartplease Mon 10-Apr-17 09:32:38

I think you should see your gp

angemorange Mon 10-Apr-17 09:51:18

My DS went through a short phase of this when he was 9, and nothing I could say would convince him he was really lovely looking. Me, my DP and relatives all started saying positive things about him and took him shopping to let him pick clothes etc.
After a while he seemed to forget about the negativity but every so often I keep checking in with him to make sure he's OK. If it had gone on longer I would have went to the GP for advice - that may be a starting point if you feel it's more serious.

There are a number of books about anxiety for children on Amazon - I got him one and we read some of it together. It's never too early to be aware of good mental health!!

All the best OP!

ilovesushi Mon 10-Apr-17 09:52:56

Thanks for the advice! x

angemorange Mon 10-Apr-17 10:02:57

I forgot to say that as one point he said to me "I know I'm not ugly, but I feel I am ugly" which was heartbreaking, but gave me a clue that it was more to do with self esteem and anxiety rather than anything else.

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