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Anxiety problems DD, 9 years old, Help!

(2 Posts)
Karen333 Sat 05-Nov-16 14:53:10

Hi,

My 9 year old daughter has had a bad few weeks and is showing signs of anxiety.
Long post - sorry!!

She had a day off school because she felt sick but she wasn't actually sick (she said she was feeling sick after eating so I assumed she had a bug) She then went back to school the next day said she felt a bit sick at lunchtime but was OK. The following day I had a call from school at lunchtime to collect her because she was really upset and felt sick again, she came home and wasn't sick but said she was scared of being sick at school on her own.
Next day went back to school and to school disco, my partner was there because he was helping out. She had been there a while then said she felt sick, it was too loud and she wanted to go home, really upset again. No school Friday because of inset day before half term.
Went on holiday for half term, all fine until we went to halloween disco and saw a man in a really gross costume who ran after us (it really was vile, not suitable for kids at all). She refused to go in and was really upset again so we went back to the caravan where she felt really sick but again wasn't sick.
Rest of hols were great, went back to school OK then had a few problems with being told off (never been in trouble before, friends didn't stick up for her) teacher really scared her by shouting and saying if she didn't improve her behaviour she'd be in big trouble, red cards and it would stay on her record into high school. (It is a very difficult class and there was a lot of disruption and I think she couldn't handle it and lost her temper). After this, DD said a word she shouldn't in the afternoon and friend threatened to tell on her if she didn't buy her something.
Of course then DD refused to go to school next day after spending 3 hours being inconsolable the night before worrying that her friend would tell the teacher and she would be in really big trouble, friends aren't really her friends, etc etc.
I had to take her into school, spoke to teacher, she owned up to what happened and teacher said don't worry and admitted she lost her patience with the class. DD still upset and would go back into classroom but did eventually (didn't want friends to see she had been crying) said she had a headache and felt sick but then it went off and friends are all OK with her.
I spoke to her and explained she might be starting to feel different emotions now that shes growing up and that she had proved to herself that she could handle things and she might feel sick but wouldn't actually be sick and that it will pass.
Today due to meet a non-school friend at youth club walked inside, turned round and came back out saying she couldn't go in, really upset again, same thing. Family party this afternoon refusing to go unless we are there in case it happens again!

I have a long term illness and think this might be affecting her. I am going to speak to the teacher again on Monday. The teacher had said she thought it is affecting her learning.

Unsure if its usual anxiety for her age/puberty or a bigger problem (especially because she is starting to avoid things)

Any advice please ????

Thanks for reading!

t875 Fri 18-Nov-16 22:56:49

Hi I've just come accepts uour post and didn't want to read and not post.

Sounds very much like anxiety. Is she worried about anything at school
It's good to see you saying you will.speak to the school.
How is she now op?
Hope ok are her friend ships ok?
Try get her into things she is good at and what she enjoys.
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