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School Refusal

(7 Posts)
theshield Fri 23-Sep-16 09:24:38

My DD is 12 and suffers from Anxiety.Since going back to school after the summer hoildays.She has become increasingly anxious to the point of panic attacks and major meltdowns and refuses to go to school.
We have Cahms involved but the counseling does not seem to be working and she has been referred to a Psychiatrist
I think there is some bulling going on and she thinks that the school work is too hard.

I would like some advice on how I can get her to school as I don't drive and have to take her two younger brothers to school

Wolfiefan Fri 23-Sep-16 09:30:04

Does she have to get a bus? Can she get a lift? How about working out of classroom for a bit? Is there a TA who could work with her? Does she do anything out of school that she enjoys and could build her confidence?

ReallyTired Fri 23-Sep-16 09:45:28

You have my sympathy. We been through a period of school refusal, but Ds has been a lot better this term.

I have a younger child and if my son is being a sod about getting ready for school just get the younger child to school first. It helps to be 100% honest with the attendence officer. In the past I walked my son to school and even gone in with him. All he done is spent an hour sitting in the SEN department. It's been baby steps and a matter of getting across the threshold.

What has helped him is formal diagnosis of dyspraxia from the child development centre. It has helped as we now have some idea of why he is getting into an anxious state about school. My son's organisation skills are very immature for his age and his lack of organisation caused him huge stress. The Sen department has a base where he can spend lunch times to avoid the bullies.

Have you had a meeting with your child's head of year or school SENCO. It may well help to draw up a plan? For example my son was constantly being punished for being late and he was taking the entire day off school to avoid an after school detention. The schools sanction system was counter productive.

What is your daughter's favourite subject? Is there any pattern with her school refusal?

I suggest that you ban all access to screens when she refuses to go to school. If Ds goes in late then he can have his internet after school for 2 hours. If he goes in on time without a fuss then he is allowed longer on the computer. We have also said that if he manages four weeks with full attendence he will have a £10 steam token.

ReallyTired Fri 23-Sep-16 09:50:07

My son refused CAMHs intervention. I am not sure that councelling would help him even if he decided to cooperate.

Getting a diagnosis has given us strategies. He is going to see an occupational therapist to help with tasks he finds hard.

Peterandrew29 Fri 14-Oct-16 22:49:03

My sons went out of their way to avoid school . They were both diagnosed late teens with Asbergers. One of the clues was Dyspraxia, it's a co Morbid issue of Asbergers Syndrome. Lack of organisation, immature, anxiety is the biggest issue in Autism Spectrum. The reason they can't deal with the bullying is the social skills part.
If you look on PlanetAutism Blog site at the info sheets these will give you loads of information. On the FB page there are loads of articles such as the pressure cooker effect.
CAMHS are not fit for purpose, an absolute disgrace. I hope you get your answers soon xx

Tippexy Fri 14-Oct-16 22:51:10

If your son goes in late he still gets two hours of internet time per day? shock

TanteJeanne Sat 15-Oct-16 20:32:34

I can empathise. This sounds so stressful for you (and her)My son has anxiety and spent a year with CAMHS after missing up to 3 days school a week. I also lost my job as I couldn't go to work when he didn't go to school. ( I'm a widow so no partner to help).
If your daughter is willing, persevere with CAMHS- counselling does take time. Is the psychiatrist referral to consider medication? I would give it serious consideration if recommended.
Personally, I wouldn't punish by withdrawing privileges or any other means. Your child is suffering from a mental illness. They cannot control their anxiety and are not being naughty. They are mentally distressed and don't deserve punishment. Three years on, my son is much better but he has had to face his anxiety about school with support: bereavement counselling; school social worker: SENCO, as well as CAMHS.
Can anyone else take your younger children so you can focus on your daughter. For us, the separating was the flashpoint and we had to find different ways to do it. Much love.

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