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Did I do the right thing.

(5 Posts)
rememberthetime Tue 19-Jul-16 22:42:08

Daughter aged 14 has mental health issue that makes it terrifying for her to stay away from home. My h and i had an event we needed to go to and we arranged for her to stay with her nan.... Knowing it would be hard for her but knowing she would be safe. After telling her about it she had a huge meltdown accusing us of child abuse for forcing her to do something that she is scared to death of. I gave in. I put her ahead of my h and told him to go alone. He is so disappointedin me. I thought she could handle it but she really can't. She is having therapy but it isn't working yet. She isn't ready. I feel awful. He isn't talking to me and I feel angry at her when it isn't her fault. The problem is misophonia and she is very high on the scale and cannot sleep anywhere but at home. Thanks for listening.

Bex134 Wed 20-Jul-16 04:17:02

Sounds like you definitely did the right thing, maybe have a chat with the therapist and see if this can be included in therapy sessions?

SomeDaysIDontGiveAMonkeys Wed 20-Jul-16 04:27:43

What else could you do OP. Your daughter needs you and I believe her needs were the priority. Is your DH, DD's father?

rememberthetime Wed 20-Jul-16 07:18:46

Yes he is. He has very Black and white views on this. He thinks we should be acting as a team and that we had agreed a course of action. He sees this as a betrayal of that. But I hadn't realised how she would react. I can't keep them both happy and I chose her. ... Over my marriage I think as he is saying I have destroyed all the Trust we have built up. Him and I are in counselling too. I agree I had no choice. He is an adult but she is a child. I had to put her first.

RegentsParkWolf Sun 14-Aug-16 12:39:03

You did the right thing. Would family therapy be more useful that separate counselling for you and your husband? He needs to be hearing your daughter's point of view. And just to repeat - you did the right thing.

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