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Advice hoped for please

(15 Posts)
Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 18:57:26

I posted the below in mental health as didn't see children's mental health in the topics and since posting we now have an appointment this week. I'd still appreciate any advice. DH spoke to the lady dd will see and she sounded nice. Has already said a few things that makes us feel she can help.

DD self harming.
Doesn't want to eat.
Gender issues.

School not equipped.
Could be two months before she's seen.
told me this morning she wants to die and not in a pain to go away but to die.

We can afford private. DH has left emails and voice mails and not one has got back.

Please help. I'm worried, scared, can't breathe and feel so so guilty.

inneedofchocolate Sat 02-Jul-16 19:04:35

How old is your dd? Gender dysphoria can often lead to self-harming and suicidal ideation. Have you looked up Mermaids? It's a charity set up to support children and their families regarding gender issues. There is also an organisation called the Proud Trust, not sure if it's national.

Doinmummy Sat 02-Jul-16 19:06:08

You poor things , all of you . Have you got the number of the Crisis Team ? If you are really worried I would go to A &E . I rarely advise this but a) I've been in your shoes and b) I work in Emergency dept so feel justified .

I hope ALL of you get the help you obviously need . If you can go private for counselling etc , I would .

My friend works at the Priory and they have pretty good facilities for young people ( it's not just for drugs and alcohol related problems ) .

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 19:06:22

She is 12.

Thank you for the two suggestions. I hadn't heard of them.

inneedofchocolate Sat 02-Jul-16 19:07:22

There's also a fantastic website called the that is specifically designed for 15-25 yr old and covers a huge range of subject areas. Might be worth your dd taking a look?

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 19:07:39

Doinmummy- don't feel we need A&E right now but I wouldn't hesitate to take her if necessary.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 19:08:39

Sorry, I keep cross posting .thank you ineedchocolate, will look there too.

inneedofchocolate Sat 02-Jul-16 19:10:34

Sorry, missed your post saying she is 12 but perhaps you could look at the website as there are links to sevices in local areas. In my experience (counsellor ) a lot of gender issues can arise in puberty and it can be overwhelming for the child to understand why or what they are feeling.

inneedofchocolate Sat 02-Jul-16 19:13:26

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 19:13:55

It coincided with her starting her periods and shortly after going to secondary school but we only learnt about it fails recently sad.

inneedofchocolate Sat 02-Jul-16 19:18:20

The fact that you are there to support her will make a huge difference to her, so just be there for her.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 19:21:59

I'm trying to be there without smothering her but the SH and wanting to die scares the life out of me. I blame myself as have had depression and I was always told my mother wanted a boy.

inneedofchocolate Sat 02-Jul-16 19:34:10

Sounds like this is a tough time for all the family. Make sure that you take care of yourself too. There are a lot of self-help guides out there to help re: self-harm but it really sounds like your daughter needs somewhere where she is able to talk through what she is feeling.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 20:30:22

I'm doing my best within the restrictions she gives me.

Thank you.

Goingtobeawesome Thu 07-Jul-16 17:36:56

Help please sad

First therapy session had. DD seems ok with it and happy to go again.

Yesterday or today she's cut herself a lot. All over her hands. Cross we won't let her go running alone at 10pm. feels like let me run or I'll cut myself had to cancel DH and I time alone this weekend as PIL would have a fit she'd blame the cats and they'd still have a fit

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