Advanced search

Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please see our mental health webguide

17yo too anxious to go to school.

(7 Posts)
SpotOn Mon 22-Feb-16 20:32:08

DS school refused when he was in Y3. Long story, but we changed schools, took him to GP, private psychologists (he was diagnosed with "general anxiety disorder") CAHMS. It was a tough time, but he was much happier when he changed schools, although he did have the odd day of just not being able to go even up to Y6. I found if I let him stay and home that day, and very firmly told him he was going in the next day he did.

We chose a high school with excellent pastoral care. And they have been excellent. DS was very happy for 5 years, and although he never seemed to actually do any work, turned up every day and got some decent GCSE results. It seemed a natural thing for him to stay on for A'levels.

It's been a bit of a shock to him how hard the work is this year , and he realises he didn't make the best A'level choices for him. He want's to start again next year at the local FE college, DH and I support him in this (except the FE college option blocks mean all the subjects he wants to do are in the same block!!)

The week before half term he walked out of school and go the train home. I told him he could stay at home the following day, but he had to go back after the holiday. This morning he got up, got dressed, packed his lunch. Then at the last minute went and lay under his duvet. DH tried to force him out, took the duvet away and told him he must go to school. DS got very distressed, DH thought DS might actually punch him (DS has a very strong fight or flight response).

I know it's all anxiety. DS has said it's the (hour long) bus journey, and the people at school. He says he will turn up for the AS exams in the summer. He seems to think he can do that without going to school between now and then.

We have a meeting with school (head of sixth form who I don't think will be at all sympathetic) on Thursday, and DH and I plan to jolly DS along in the morning.

This isn't just DS being a lazy teenager, but I'm not sure what to expect of the school, if anything. But DS can't just sit in his bedroom for the next 6 months.

SpotOn Mon 22-Feb-16 20:33:24

I is also on the Autistic Spectrum, but generally copes very well with most things, as long as he isn't stressed.

SpotOn Mon 22-Feb-16 21:05:01

Hmmm....because it's not life or death, I guess he can sit in his bedroom alone for 6 months.

Should I expect anything of the school?

makati Mon 22-Feb-16 21:34:29

He could actually stop now and chill or volunteer somewhere til September. I'm not sure school will be terribly interested to be honest. My daughter came down with glandular fever at this age and ended up dropping out of sixth form for 6 months. She did voluntary work, relaxed and concentrated on feeling better and has re-started now.

PeaStalks Mon 22-Feb-16 21:46:17

DS had very similar issues. I took him in the car or he drove himself for a year. This helped by removing a major area of stress for him.

SpotOn Mon 22-Feb-16 21:55:48

Because of work DH and I just can't take him, but I think grandparents could be persuaded to do the trip there.

I don't think DH could cope with DS doing nothing. Volunteering might get around that one - good idea!

Would anybody else freak out if their DC dropped out at this time of the year, or is it just me?

makati Tue 23-Feb-16 00:22:33

it's not the end of the world and your health comes first. Lots of youngsters spend 3 years in sixth form, or longer. Better to be in the right place health wise before you move onwards. But I know where you're coming's just getting to the same place by a different route.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now