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SAHM/Carer

(8 Posts)
HarHer Sun 22-Nov-15 20:11:56

Hi,

Please let me know what I can do. Both my sons are on a Child Protection Plan under the category of 'Emotional Abuse' (I was not the perpetrator). My 14 year old lives with my husband. He should receive 5 hours of home tuition a week, but he refuses this and barricades himself in his room when his tutor comes (or forces my husband to take him out). He has a volatile relationship with my husband which has involved my husband hitting him on a number of occasions and my son hitting my husband back. Our lead social worker is aware of the violence. My husband (who has Asperger's syndrome) has left message after message with various agencies saying that he cannot cope and that he wants my youngest son taking away or he will really hurt the boy.

Yet, so far Children's Social care have done little more than send an outreach worker to take my son out for an hour or two each week.

I take care of my older son. He is 16 and has autism and complex mental health needs. He needs 1:1 supervision because when he gets too anxious he hears voices which speak out his intrusive thoughts. The thoughts involve assaulting people and last week I found him screaming in the greenhouse (having slipped my watch) with a kitchen knife and a bottle of bleach in his bed. Currently we lodge with my sister and her family, but this week we are going to move to a house of our own in a town we do not know. I have given up my job to look after him and money is tight to say the least. Yet, although the psychologist from CAMHS advises and supports us on a weekly basis, we have no outreach from social care. My son, currently spends most of his time in a room with me.

I have been trying to work with Children's Social Care and I have asked for wrap around support for both boys (and respite for my husband). However, the support given (as detailed above) is totally inadequate.

My youngest child is being abused. My husband is being assaulted. I am supporting a young man with a mental health crisis with absolutely no support apart from medical guidance. And all this is taking place within a Child Protection framework. Perhaps most tragically of all, my sons are simply wasting their lives.

This has been going on for four months and I am really really scared that there will be an unhappy ending.

How can I insist that CSC pull their weight and give our children the services they need?

HarHer Sun 22-Nov-15 20:13:12

Sorry about the confusing title. I was going to write a completely different message and I forgot to change the title.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheoriginalLEM Mon 23-Nov-15 22:41:29

Your dh hit your son?

HarHer Tue 24-Nov-15 07:21:33

Hello again,

Yes, my husband does hit my son. It is not hard, but last week he was in tears and told me that my husband had hit him around the head, dragged him across a car park and pinned him to a wall. I told the lead social worker and he said he would have a meeting with his manager. My husband also reports to various agencies that he is being 'bullied' and threatened by my son. I cannot believe that this is allowed to continue under a Child Protection Plan with full knowledge of all agencies.

TheoriginalLEM Tue 24-Nov-15 16:03:22

Why are you still with him?

HarHer Tue 24-Nov-15 16:43:06

Hello,

I have separated from my husband, but my younger son cannot live with his brother who is in my care. My older son was suicidal as a result of the emotional abuse from my husband and younger son. Children's Social Care lead on our case and decided after we separated that my younger son should remain with my husband and outreach and support would be provided to monitor the situation, get my youngest back to school and provide respite for my youngest.

I have had a word with the lead social worker today and he has consulted his legal team. I have asked for fostering or a residential school for my youngest, but neither is certain yet.

Hopefully something will be done soon.

smileyforest Tue 24-Nov-15 22:34:56

Gosh, feel for you OP, something needs to be done asap. Your H surely with Aspergers is not the best to care for your younger son, agree he needs respite ....so bloody bad that sometimes it gets so, so bad before anything is done! flowers

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