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my son's suicidal(10 Posts)
My son fighting depression since he was 13yrs now 16, we finally got him into cahms but because he did not want to talk to them, they let him leave.
i am so scared as he drinks, being violent, talks of disappearing and dying.
Only two weeks ago he rang me crying, stating that he was on a bridge and wanted to jump.
I cant get him any help unless i inform the police, or take him into hospital (when it's to late) as he refuses the help.
What can i do?
I'm his mum, i love him dearly, i just cannot understand the system, that allows a child to continue to try to hurt/kill themselves because they are 'Gillick Competent'
Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you! I don't have any great advice but I just want to send you some hugs and thoughts. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling at the moment. Hope he gets better soon
lots of thoughts and well wishes being sent your way!
So sorry.many teens find engaging with camhs hard although he has a right to ask for another therapist.However if you are watching him 24 hours and believe he is not safe tell them as they still have responsibility. At this stage he probably needs to volunteer to go to an adolescent unit if necessary but he can be sectioned.Perhaps ask Young Minds for a callback and Papyrus has advice on talking to a suicidal teen. Can you find an older teen who has been through this who can try and persuade him that talking and maybe meds might help him.My dd was admitted to hospital via a and e although we had to fight.Long emotional journey but worth it now..
1st aid for suicidal people of any age I'm afraid is A+E or police if they wont go themselves.Sorry to be so blunt about this but that's the route and an assessment will be made.
At 16 he is " an adult" to all intents and purposes and until he looses competence he can refuse care, he also may , depending on area fall between services- if he's not actively open to CAMHS they may not see him and adult services may say he's too young.
Sorry to give you a bleak picture but that's how it is IME. Keep talking, being there for him and encouraging him to seek help, but the next time he is talking of suicide or even drunk and incapable I'd get him into the emergency mental health assessment path by what ever route you need to use.
Thinking of you
Thank you for your messages.
I can't keep watch on him 24/7 I'd love to trust me, he only seems to be down like this when he has a drink.
I know alcohol is a depressant and it brings his problems to the forefront of his mind.
I just think it's wrong that we have to wait until they attempt to take their lives before we can do anything.
So now I'm sitting and waiting for him to do it, as I know that's the only way he is going to get help. He still feels he does not need help but I'm trying to tell him that we all need help sometimes, there is no shame in it.
I have called and spoken to a few different organisations, they all say the same.
I just want to help him, know that's he's wanted and loved and that his life means everything to me and his family.
Sorry for going on, I don't 'vent' much as everyone has enough to worry about, without me loosing the plot.
But thank you all for taking the time to write a few words, it means a lot xx
Theas is right Sadly unless he volunteers to talk to on duty camhs. Teens in many areas shift to adult services on their 18th birthday and there's a lot less help if any available. I hope you can persuade him to ask for help soon.Look after yourself too.
I'm a CAMHS practitioner, and the standard advice we give in this circumstance is:
- If he is actively suicidal (saying he feels suicidal, or making statements saying he wants to / is going to kill himself, or self harms in a manner that is a risk to his life e.g. deliberate overdose) he should be taken to A&E. He will be seen by CAMHS for assessment.
- Even if he will not engage with CAMHS, safeguarding concerns can over-rule this. If you have serious concerns about him you can speak to your GP who could arrange assessment by a Psychiatrist for consideration of compulsory admittance to hospital under the Mental Health Act (being 'sectioned') if it was felt that your son needed that to happen for his safety.
- If you have immediate concerns for his welfare (e.g. he leaves the house threatening to kill himself) and he refuses to be taken to A&E, you need to call the police (make sure you tell them how old he is and the level of suicide risk) who have powers to detain him until he is assessed by a Psychiatrist
All of the above are what to do in an emergency, depending on the nature of the emergency.
In the meantime, do ring and speak to CAMHS again, ask to speak to a duty worker or the team leader, impress on them the suicidal concerns and that you are highly concerned about your son, or ask your GP to. Yes, CAMHS can't make your son talk but they should provide some more assertive outreach in this circumstance.
I'm so sorry that you, and him, are going through this.
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