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Gender issues with Aspie 6yr old DD

(2 Posts)
TarkaLiotta Tue 11-Nov-14 12:52:14

DD has always been a bit of a "tomboy" (hate that word but can't think of another), preferring energetic games/activities, hating dolls, pink, princesses, horses, fairies, etc etc. Friends are mainly boys. Refused to wear anything but boys' clothes since around age 3. Went through a phase a couple of years ago when she insisted she was a boy, wanted us to call her a boy's name, insisted to DS that she was his big brother.

She struggles with anxiety (has Aspergers and ADHD), but masks at school, then melts down at home. Never thought too much about the boy thing, thought that lots of kids go through phases of wanting to be the opposite gender, didn't make a big thing of it and thought it would pass. It's still there though, and seems to be getting stronger - recently her class had to divide into a girls group and a boys group in PE, and DD apparently just stood there looking confused, and said to the teacher that she didn't know which group to join. She's always, without fail, a boy whenever she does imaginary play (which is a lot, with DS), with a boy's name, and the name has stayed the same one for years now.

I'm starting to worry that she'll never be comfortable in her own skin, and it terrifies me. Has anyone experienced similar please?

wesH Fri 29-May-15 15:14:39

Is it your child who isn't comfortable with who they are - or is it you? Refusing to support gender non conforming children is proven to have disastrous effects on their mental health. If you truly care about your child, support them through this and respect their wishes. If they decide that being a boy is not right for them and that it was just a phase they will 'go back' to being a girl on their own. If not, it is your duty as a parent to support them through what is bound to be a difficult journey.

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