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Can't see a way out

(6 Posts)
Gsr06 Thu 02-Oct-14 23:28:57

My Ds1 has been having problems for about a year, started with feeling ill on school days, not sleeping etc. went to full scale school refusal. He hasn't been regularly at school since May. Waited 6 months for a camhs referral and after lots of failed attempts he still won't talk to them, in his head he doesn't know what wrong so why should he talk to them. No one seems to know what wrong depression, behaviour, asd all been mentioned. Up till all this he was quiet but popular boy, doing really well at school. ss now involved due to absence levels. Feels like I stuck in a bad dream, I can't see how we move forward, really scared.

Phaedra11 Tue 21-Oct-14 08:31:03

How old is he, GS?

Gsr06 Sun 23-Nov-14 23:07:35

Not been on here for ages.. He is 11. Still no change, albeit I seem to be getting my head in a better place, but would be great to know if anyone been in this kind of situation and is now out the other side

anthropology Thu 27-Nov-14 18:55:04

He is still young, but the positive side of that is that if you can get him the right support/treatment, things can change . My DD was 14 when it was very clear she was severely depresed, although she had a lot of physical illnesses around 10/11 and I (or the doctors )didnt recognise she needed psychological support. We should have spotted it then and got help earlier. I know its difficult have you thought of paying for a private assessment with an ed psychologist or child psychotherapist, so you have an outsiders opinion. We had a very mixed experience with Camhs, and like many mums, I know I was blamed for some behaviours. Keep detailed notes of behaviour, bad days good days too. They are unlikely to diagnose at this age and in my opinion , all cases are different, with different combinations of factors, so each child needs a tailored approach. As my DD was older we were able to move her (after a period in hospital) to a smaller quieter school, but pre secondary it must be very hard and you must be under a lot of pressure re attendance Any documentation however from anyone, espeically a wisc 4 (via a dyslexia unit) in our case, helped us get LEA support . Keep hopeful and look after yourself. . It was a long challenging journey for us, but my DD is an amazing young woman who has been through a lot and I'm very proud of her.

Gsr06 Fri 28-Nov-14 12:52:24

Thanks, camhs seem to be more and more saying behavioural and essentially advise toddler strategies, do x you will get y.. But he has been in bed for 5 days this week, only been up 2 evenings for tea.. The school are not giving us a hard time but not giving us any strategies either..I have so few levers to pull with him as he doesn't care mostly, and we struggled for a long time before it got to the stage of him being off school. Think I am going to look into sleep specialists as not being able to fall asleep has massive impact and then he sleeps on the next day but still tired ALL the time. I just feel they don't listen sometimes and he has held out engaging with them for months now so something needs to change. Weeks like this def worst when he just in bed.

anthropology Thu 04-Dec-14 23:56:47

My DD was prescribed melatonin (slow release) for sleep as a teenager and still takes it. the right sleep patterns make a big difference. Is there anything at all he still likes doing physically, things like walking dogs, riding, listening to music, ?? Can you bring tutors into the house to do things like art or music perhaps, just to give him a routine. I really hope you find the right support and help soon.

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