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How to reduce anxiety in 6 yo DS ?

(44 Posts)
Babieseverywhere Wed 01-Oct-14 21:04:16

My DS is very anxious child who is very resistant at walking to school.

He doesn't sleep well, often has nightmares and can't get back to sleep.

He won't sleep in his own room/bed....preferring to share with his sisters or us.

He won't go upstairs to the toilet on his own. If we don't go with him, he will wet himself. He won't be on his own at all at home.

His stomach ache kinda comes and go but has been constant for the last three weeks. Doctor says no physical illness just anxiety.

He hates school. Claims he has no friends and everything is hard and boring. Taking him to school over the last 18 months has been a nightmare....from kicking, screaming to sitting on the floor refusing to walk to hiding. More calm recently but still uoset and anxious, no fun sad

School say he is fine and has loads of friends and he is happy there. I do not believe them and they are clear they do not believe in me either.

I worry he is masking his anxiety at school. School do not believe in masking.

He is going through various assessments and under a comm paed next appointment in four months.

Salt has referred him to social classes for his social communication difficulties, which I hope will help at school but that is six months off.

He is also scared of dieing and of me getting ill and has threatened to throw himself under a car to avoid school on several occasions (I am pretty sure he doesn't mean it, just showing me how distressed he feels)

What can I do to help reduce his anxiety, I just want him to be happy and not be in pain and upset. sad

Atalanta Wed 01-Oct-14 21:07:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babieseverywhere Wed 01-Oct-14 21:14:14

No counsellor at school...Small village school.

The Senco rang the Comm Paed and lied forgot to mention punishments, individual behaviour plans, sticker charts for DS behaviour and notes in home diary.....Instead said he was very well behaved child sad

But if Senco can help, I will have to grit my teeth and ask.

Babieseverywhere Wed 01-Oct-14 21:18:33

Off to Google "Mindlessness exercises"

I have also ordered this book off Amazon.
Anxiety Book

Babieseverywhere Thu 02-Oct-14 13:33:14

opps "mindfullness"

Atalanta Thu 02-Oct-14 19:48:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Atalanta Thu 02-Oct-14 19:50:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babieseverywhere Thu 02-Oct-14 20:58:12

I will try with the Senco. She us a very nice lady but as they don't see anything wrong with DS at school. Getting help for him is hard.

Selks Fri 03-Oct-14 16:01:13

Go and speak to your Dr. They can refer you and DS for specialist help, which I think he needs, to stop this growing into a bigger anxiety problem. It's already making him miserable by the sound of it, and is starting to have an impact on his life. There are a lot of things that can be done to help but the starting point is discussing with your GP.

Babieseverywhere Fri 03-Oct-14 17:46:44

Thanks I will speak to his doctor on Monday

bamboostalks Fri 03-Oct-14 17:54:24

Why would the school lie?

Wobblealong Fri 03-Oct-14 17:55:54

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1845290860?pc_redir=1411417277&robot_redir=1

Can I recommend you get a copy of this book - really well written and based on an evidence based treatment programme for anxious kids.

ChillyHeatwave Fri 03-Oct-14 18:05:19

Why would the school lie? Lol oh dear.

Op, when my son was getting anxiety (still does) the gp recommended he read a book (or you read to him) by Jeremy strong called on no they are aliens! It is about a boy who worries all the time. It seemed to help. We also gave his tummy feeling a character, so we could say oh is xyz running around and making your tummy feel funny? What can we do to put him to sleep again? Etc.

Good luck and keep pushing! We needed up getting social classes at school as well and this has helped somewhat.

AppleAndMelon Fri 03-Oct-14 18:09:44

Is everything OK at home OP?

ChillyHeatwave Fri 03-Oct-14 18:14:29

Sorry, just realised my post sounded horrible to bamboo. I didn't mean it that way. Just ime of lots of sen kids, the schools quite often lie, or 'forget', or 'there are no issues'.

Not saying your child is sen, op, just that was the comparison that popped into my head.

Apologies bamboo.

Babieseverywhere Fri 03-Oct-14 18:18:37

"Why would the school lie?"
I have no idea...but it really annoyed the Comm Paed that they had forgotten to mention his IBP's and personal sticker charts etc

Babieseverywhere Fri 03-Oct-14 18:23:53

Everything is fine at home...DS is quirky child going though the ASD pathway but we cope well as he is a very beloved member of our family. We have been told without school support, we are unlikely to get anywhere.

Not that it really matters, I only aimed to get a correct label to help school to help DS but we have been told my school no dx will change the type if help he gets as they already use loads of asd things with him and he is fine with no problems !

ChillyHeatwave Fri 03-Oct-14 18:34:31

Ah babies, I didn't want to ask, by put the asd pathway makes sense. Snap! Apparently it is quite common. Also the situation re school. Snap! You have my sympathies! flowers

IsItMeOr Fri 03-Oct-14 18:57:38

Sorry to hear your DS is struggling Babies.

"Luckily", 5yo DS (who has recently had ASD diagnosis) is very even-handed between home and school - ie he hits people everywhere. I can see why it is difficult for children who bottle up all the anxiety-inducing stuff from school until they get home (and their parents).

Have you tried the Explosive Child technique? It's supposed to work for those who internalise the feelings, as well as those who, ahem, externalise them. We're slowly seeing some very small signs of progress with DS.

bamboostalks Fri 03-Oct-14 18:59:45

But surely school want their pupils to access the help they need?

IsItMeOr Fri 03-Oct-14 19:54:34

bamboo I think the generous interpretation is that schools genuinely aren't seeing anything untoward at school - maybe a quiet child - so it's hard for them to deal with something they're not seeing?

Babieseverywhere Fri 03-Oct-14 20:23:40

I have the explosive child book on my wish list...I hadn't bought it, as DS only explodes at home not in school...at school he keeps everything in. But I will buy it on payday and see if it helps alongside the other suggested book link.

IsItMeOr Sat 04-Oct-14 08:18:17

Babies if cash is tight, there's a good website that sits alongside the Explosive Child book which might get you started/be enough.

Don't worry about the school/home split too much, would be my advice. Just start trying the technique at home. We are finding that DS is beginning to tell us a little (tiny!) bit more about what is going on for him, so that we can try to deal with the problems he has.

Branleuse Sat 04-Oct-14 12:26:19

this sounds a lot like my ds whos 7 and has high functioning autism.

Not sure how to help you, but youre not alone. Its so sad for them

Babieseverywhere Sat 04-Oct-14 14:32:47

Thanks guys..I just want to help him feel better. I hate that he has a stomach ache pretty per manly. ..that is no life for a six year old.

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