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15yo dd just told me she has just made herself throw up for the first time?

(7 Posts)
boiboitootytits457 Sun 23-Feb-14 20:35:33

We have a custom that if she's ever too nervous to tell me something face to face, she can write it on a note and slide it under my bedroom door. She's just done this now and the note read "don't be too worried but I just made myself throw up for the first time, I just felt so full from dinner that I felt uncomfortable". How should I react when I go speak to her now, bearing in mind she said she did it due to being uncomfortably full after a large meal, as opposed to wanting to lose weight or having low self esteem? I don't want to turn this into a bigger issue for her

lljkk Sun 23-Feb-14 20:44:26

have you ever done it or felt like it yourself? That's a good place to start a conversation.

I've done it once or twice in my life due to eating too much (and I did have an eating disorder as well). But those few occasions didn't turn into bulimia for me, maybe because I find vomitting too horribly painful. I think I would treat it as no biggie but just talk about the physical experience and then maybe move on to why overeating feels so bad which is funny because eating is usually nice, but best kept to moderation.

Oh, vomitting is terrible for your teeth, too. I'd be totally pragmatic about it all, try to invite her to talk about why she overate in the first place. If she can't say why, then ask her if she minds you guessing what mind have bothered into not listening to her body better. If she feels she can face those problems she'll be less likely to try to find ways to run away from them.

lljkk Sun 23-Feb-14 20:45:01

ps: that note system is incredibly cool idea, I am going to pinch that! smile

Dancingqueen17 Sun 23-Feb-14 20:45:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

boiboitootytits457 Sun 23-Feb-14 20:50:06

Yes lljkk, it works great. It means she doesn't have to fear seeing the (subconscious)expression on my face when I first find out, and also gives me the time to calm down/figure out the best thing to do

seventiesgirl Sun 23-Feb-14 21:03:10

I did this occasionally late teens early twenties usually after a meal out where I had eaten too much. It was never to do with worrying about what I'd eaten but because I just felt uncomfortably full. Quite often I'd go out and have a pudding. I've never had weight/eating issues. Reassure her that it's not great to do but you understand perhaps why she did it.

Selks Sun 23-Feb-14 21:13:19

Yes do what Dancingqueen suggests - it's very good advice.

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