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Help for a suicidal, self harming 15yr old

(15 Posts)
NixxNoo Fri 08-Mar-13 13:51:35

My daughter was raped by an older boy she knew when she was 14. She had already been dating a boy of her own age for over a year but he had been very controlling so she had low self esteem. After the attack her weight dropped down to 41kgs (she was about 5'6) and her self harming increased. We started counselling through CAMHS. She did not gel with her counsellor as she was an older woman but we continued for 5 months. She tried cutting her wrists and was given a crisis counsellor for 8 weeks, this was much more successful as the woman was younger so my daughter felt she could open up to her. My daughter cut much less frequently and gained weight, she was 51kgs by the middle of Feb.
However, 3 weeks ago she took an overdose while she was at home with my 18yr old son. This came completely out of the blue, she said she had been hearing voices which are negative and tell her to cut etc. Again she saw the crisis counsellor, once at hospital then again the following week. On Tuesday my child said she was feeling suicidal again, I contacted the crisis counsellor, she was to visit that day, she didn't, nor the next day and after several phone calls she has said she will "try" to visit today to speak with her.
I don't know what to do next for my child. Because she doesn't want to talk to the CAMHS counsellor they are talking about signing her off. She has not been assessed by a psychiatrist even though she has taken an overdose, cut her wrists and hears voices. Has anyone got an idea who I need to contact next? My daughter has been put on the SEN/AEN register without my knowledge, and I assume it's because of the time she has had away from school, (she is year 10,) but I am waiting for the school to explain this to me. I live in south west Essex

mollymole Fri 08-Mar-13 13:54:15

I would take her to A&E as she is at risk of suicide and let the duty psychiatrist assess her.

NixxNoo Fri 08-Mar-13 14:04:15

I have to wait to see if the crisis nurse arrives this afternoon, if she doesn't come I'm going to take her to A&E. The last time we were there with her when she took an overdose we only saw a CAMHS crisis worker rather than a psychiatrist, is this "normal"?

AnAirOfHope Fri 08-Mar-13 14:07:17

Congrats on getting the help you need for your dd.

Go to gp and ask for referal to a hospital to assess her.

Victiam support can help with rape counciling.

You need to find out where your dd is coming from to know the right path forward.

Could/does she want to change school? Go to an all girls school? Of the person that raped her is in the area could you move?

Is she depressed? There are medication that could help like sertaline.

Is she taken any pill, could it be hormanal?

How is her relationship with friends?

15 is a hard age to be and even harder with what your dd has been thru. I would push for a referal so you know what you are dealing with and the best course of treatment.

Could you homeschool for a bit to take the pressired off her?

FrauMoose Fri 08-Mar-13 14:12:08

might be a useful resource

NixxNoo Fri 08-Mar-13 14:22:54

Thanks for the advice, I've been feeling like I don't know what to do next. The attacker has left our town, he did not go to her school. Although we reported him and he was arrested she (understandably) could not go through with making a formal statement so he was released after being cautioned. Her friendship group is difficult, there is lots of conflict between them and shifting alliances. She has become quite isolated and because she has missed lots of time at school I think things move on and she doesn't feel part of it

FrauMoose Fri 08-Mar-13 14:30:51

Some of the links from this page might also be relevant to your situation.

NixxNoo Fri 08-Mar-13 14:35:21

I've just been on the SERICC site and have emailed a new counsellor for her, I've also made an appointment with my GP to discuss a referral to a psychiatrist. Thank you everyone, it's such a relief to get some advice smile

AnAirOfHope Fri 08-Mar-13 14:50:04

The best thing you can do is what you are doing.

Be there for her and get her the help she needs. Let her know you love her and give her some perspective regarding the future.

Small things mean alot so maybe plan a holiday or something she will like in the future to give her something to look forward too.

Try doing family activities so she is not alone think. Have a games night or invite friends for a sleep over/meal.

There might be a support group in your area could you call the local police station to find out? Talking to girls her own age that has gone thru the same thing might help?

Dont forget to hug her and tell her things will get better even if you cant take the past away it will not destroy the future.

Good luck xx

NixxNoo Fri 08-Mar-13 15:41:24

Just had a phone call from the psychiatric nurse, after waiting since Tuesday (when she 1st said she would be over) she will hopefully be here in an hour. Now daughter is not feeling like she did and does not see the point in talking to her. This equates to daughter and nurse drinking coffee in silence for an hour and then arranging to meet next week sad

AnAirOfHope Fri 08-Mar-13 16:31:36

If she has depression it can go in waves of feeling ok to not so ok.

If the meeting took place in your house she may have been worried that you were listening. Could you arrang next week at the gp?

The mhn can only listen, medicate and refer.

Have you talked to your dd about group theripy?
Have you talked to mhn about referal to teenage group counciling?

mindfulmum Fri 08-Mar-13 17:27:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eeyorerocks Wed 26-Jun-13 01:31:27

I realise this thread is a few months old but I found it looking for advice myself. I hope your daughter's doing better now. I'd just like to recommend you have a look at whether you have a Rape Crisis service in your area. You can find out through the Rape Crisis websites:

I would recommend Rape Crisis in particular as it offers a specialist service to women and girls who have experienced rape or sexual violence. As the experience of rape has such particular effects it can be useful to access a specialist service.

Hope this is of help, but I also hope you have already found the help you need and that your daughter is feeling better.

Madamecastafiore Wed 26-Jun-13 05:38:24

Take her to A&E every time she exhibits any suicidal ideation. Make a fuss, ring every day, keep a diary. Ring PALS next time people say they will contact you or visit and they don't.

There is an inpatient unit in NE Essex, a new one, not sure if it possible as could be out if area but now there are commissioning groups that cover larger areas you could ask your doctor or crisis nurse to refer you there for an assessment.

Butterflywgs Fri 28-Jun-13 22:44:23

What madamecastafiore says is a sure way for OP and her DD to get labelled as difficult and attention-seeking, and get no help.
OP, I hope things are better now for your daughter.

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