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left out with CAMHS

(9 Posts)
janeloop Mon 30-Apr-12 13:53:08

Hi everyone,

I had a referral for my DD several weeks ago. We had our initial assessment and I walked away feeling positive. Each week my daughter who is 7 writes in her diary and I write notes too, last week we took a voice recording of her with us which they have kept hold of. The problem is I have no idea what is going on, for the meetings it was thought we would get further without me being in the room. The problem is each week they bring her down to me and say "she did very well, we will see her again next week."

My daughter thinks she communicates with someone in her head and they talk to her and tell her to kill herself. She threatens me, her dad and brother everyday. She insults me calling me for example "a big fat ugly old woman". She can't control her temper, one moment she comes across as a confident cocky young girl and the next second she breaks down, later leaving me apology notes. She threatens to leave and has once walked out of the house. There is a huge mixture of things going on and I am starting to wondering if CAMHS are actually taking it seriously. We have tried everything before ending up at CAMHS including parenting classes all of which work short term and then her behaviours change.

My DD is very intelligent and has little problems in school apart from finding it difficult to build relationships with her peers, often falling out with them. I believe she finds it hard to understand the difference from what is real to what isn't, she makes up lies and can keep these lies going on for days (very detailed lies) and then she says oh it was a lie.

Has anybody else experienced CAMHS saying very little to them after each appointment? I just want to know what's going on, we are feeling very alone and starting to think they are just going to say we are parenting wrong. sad

Just to add we got the CAMHS appointment in less than a week xx

stompingthroughfields Tue 01-May-12 09:08:46

I came on here to post a thread about my 13 yo DD- I'll still do so, but didn't want to let your thread go unanswered. We're going down the CAHMS route as well; it should be quick, the Dr mentioned a 7 day turnaround.

Going along the self care and looking after herself we've also said no communications with friends after bedtime- phone and laptop downstairs. My DD sounds a little different from yours- she seems really happy and light, but at the same time has self harmed and said she has suicidal thoughts.

Hope you get some more knowledgeable posters soon!

stompingthroughfields Tue 01-May-12 15:25:18

There's only me here, jane sad.

The only help I can offer is to do practical things for her, her favourite meals, calm atmosphere and utterly calm and unjudgemental responses from me. I'm collecting my DD from school today for an sort of related Drs appointment- they have an adolescent drop in and as the GP will be informed I thought it would be good to get those lines of communication open. I've just noticed that your daughter is only 7- I'm not expecting to be present at my DDs appointments with CAHMS, but I can see that with a younger child you might.

Can you ask them specific questions- what can we do to support her? I've just spoken to DDs school who asked to be kept in the loop, but also said they didn't want to be intrusive- it made me realise that the stakes are really high, and there is no way I'm going to cover up through embarrassment, I'm going to ask for and accept every bit of help going!

janeloop Wed 02-May-12 20:20:19


Thanks for your response, really sorry I didn't answer. I guess with problems every single day I just don't get time to come online much any more!

I hope your daughter gets the help she needs too. I was told it would be months to wait and our turn around was also very quick. I think they are lovely at CAMHS but they are not helping us as a family unit. My younger son is so scared of her. She calls him horrible, horrible names, hits him and is just mean to him he is only 3!

I have decided though come her next appointment I am going to ask them what exactly the plan is, what we need to do etc etc? I hate asking questions but I actually feel like I have no choice now!

It can become so lonely can't it? I have even started thinking "is it me?!" have I done something wrong?!?! It's hard work and even when she is in bed I am trying to make sense of the day :\

How old is your daughter if you don't mind me asking? x

Mumtutu Wed 02-May-12 21:50:47

Hi Janeloop

Posted what I hoped would be re-assuring post but lost it all.


- have you tried the Young Minds website - they also have Parents helpline so might be able to advise on what reasonable to expect re feedback -
- you should definitely ask your questions at next appointment. Or could you even try phoning whoever is managing your DD's case beforehand, so you don't have to discuss in front of yr DD. Perhaps you could ask for a review meeting if they don't offer anything specific?
- don't beat yourself up about being to blame.

best of luck smile

mindfulmum Thu 17-May-12 23:55:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood Fri 18-May-12 00:00:30

Just to add that when we were taking ds week in, week out, we never got to hear what he was saying / talking about. I always assumed that was policy, in that if they want the dcs to open up, they have to reassure them what is said in the room, stays in the room.

Selks Fri 18-May-12 00:11:55

CAMHS will be taking it seriously. A good assessment of the problem can take several sessions and can involve the therapist gaining a rapport with the child.
However I would suggest that you request a meeting for you and the CAMHS clinician to look at their thoughts on your DD so far. Have the meeting without your daughter being there so that both parties can talk freely.
Just phone and talk to the clinician. I'm sure they will be happy to talk to you.

Selks Fri 18-May-12 00:14:34

I work in CAMHS by the way smile

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