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Gran's new residential home are expelling her for bad behaviour

(18 Posts)

She's 92 and has only been there for 7 weeks. I'll be honest she can be a nasty old woman at times and the manager has said she's had enough.

Gran doesn't have dementia but the manager has said she needs to be put in an EMI for her behaviour. She shouts a lot and demands attention and trys to get staff to sit with her so she's not by herself. The manager says she takes up too much of her staff's time and the other residents are suffering. She can be rude to the staff as well (though not physical), shouting at them that she doesn't like her dinner and demanding rudely that she wants xyz NOW! The doctor has been and given her pills to "sedate" her hmm but they don't seem to have any effect.

I am annoyed with the home for kicking her out but at the same time see their point. So now I have to find somewere else and don't really know where to start - the place she's in at the minute was a personal recommendation. I've been looking at the Commission For Social Care website - are their "star" ratings worth taking into account? Or is it just better to go on gut instinct when you look round a place?

bubblagirl Sat 12-Jul-08 17:31:09

i would go on gut instinct to be honest as its easy to doa nd say what inspectors want when theya rrive

im sorry your gran is being made to leave we had many clients like this its just attention seeking andlarge homes do not have staff ratio to spend one to one sufficient time with client

try and get smaller home and pre warn them that she is lonely and needs help and attention with the settling down period

she may always be slightly demanding but it only takes one person kind enough to spare her that 5 mins to have a moan and a good bond will be shared

WasStealthPolarBear Sat 12-Jul-08 17:47:41

so sorry we've been in a similar situation with my Grandma who does have dementia. She ended up on the EMI wing of the hospital when they couldn't cope with her.
How long do you have to find her somewhere new?

FabioTheLiterateCat Sat 12-Jul-08 17:50:01

Are you sure she doesn't have dementia?

Help The Aged

They haven't given us deadline so am hoping no urgent rush - guess they can't kick her out in the street. Will start looking round places next week I think.

FabioTheLiterateCat Sat 12-Jul-08 17:51:01

Age Concern

If her behaviour has got much worse, it could be a sign of dementia, is what I meant.

I don't know for sure. The care home manager says no, but she has a lot of symptoms. She's very forgetful, forgets where she is, gets upset saying she doesn't know how to get home, asks when my aunt (who died years ago) is coming to see her. I tell her that she has dies and 5 mins later she asks again.

FabioTheLiterateCat Sat 12-Jul-08 17:57:52

Sorry, Stripey, but that sounds like dementia to me. sad

Is this a recent turn of events, or has it been ongoing for a while?

WasStealthPolarBear Sat 12-Jul-08 17:57:56

They are all classical, typical signs
sorry

littlepinkpixie Sat 12-Jul-08 17:58:11

Might be worth asking GP about referral to an old age psychiatrist, if GP agrees there are symptoms of dementia.

WasStealthPolarBear Sat 12-Jul-08 17:58:32

as is mood swings anger, paranoia and sundowning (wandering and pacing at dusk)

She doesn't wonder but she isn't very mobile (zimmer frame). Its been going on for about 7 months. If I see her GP will he talk to me about her to discuss a referral?

Is there any benefit to her getting a proper diagnosis - extra help, benefits, treatment?

FabioTheLiterateCat Sat 12-Jul-08 18:36:08

Yes, I think a diagnosis would help her. 45% of women over 90 have some degree of dementia. It's not uncommon, so she would be better cared for by staff trained to help her.

If the dementia seemed to come on suddenly, there may be a simpler explanation. Sometimes a simple infection - often a UTI - in older patients can bring about confusion. This is a small chance though, don't bank on it, but you could ask if her urine is routinely tested.

You could speak to her GP but I'm not sure if he'll be able to do much. The manager of the care home should be able to advise.
Sorry to hear about all this. sad

WasStealthPolarBear Sat 12-Jul-08 18:42:26

Good point Fabio, from my own (limited) experience I think the UTI is likely - my grandma has had one a few times and each time her symptoms have got much much worse.

WasStealthPolarBear Sat 12-Jul-08 18:42:57

and got better (to an extent when uti cleared) obv her disease is degenerative

No its come on gradually. She was initially in hospital and they tested for UTI, etc.

colditz Sat 12-Jul-08 19:10:34

I happen to know that a lot of care homes need a higher staff ratio if they have more than a certain amount of residents with dementia. I have cared for many residents who were give this and that sedative, and whose care plan bore no resemblance to their real needs.

I suspect that this is because these residents had dementia, although the manager would never admit that they did, and never ever sought diagnosis. The reason she did not want these residents to 'officially' have dementia is that she would legally have to hire more staff, which she certainly did not want to do.

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