Advice needed re care for elderly in - laws

[bramblebooks]

DH's parents have lived apart for a few years now and are trying to sell their house. They do not speak to each other and DH acts as go-between, which is stressful enough for him, although he tries to keep it 'professional' and not get involved in criticisms.

His dad is 80, with a heart condition and now has a mobility scooter. He doesn't leave his flat much, but is renting at a ridiculous price and getting into debt. He won't move as it's close to the supermarket and bookies /pub.

His mum is 79 and has broken her shoulder today falling downstairs. She has had a few falls.

My DH is supposed to be working away next week as he is behind on a project - he is self-employed and has to meet the deadline. We can't bring MIL over here as the journey would be painful, plus I work and don't think I could cope with MIL and her high anxiety levels, broken shoulder, plus my own children (one with diabetes which is not well controlled at present).

We'll get the short-term sorted somehow. They have no friends or relatives to speak of, as they have fallen out with everyone.

Can anyone advise what we can do in the short term with regard to getting a carer in for MIL (and for FIL, really).

FIL needs someone to do a bit of cleaning, MIL will need someone to go in to make sure that she has got food and have a tidy round and possibly help with some personal care short-term whilst she's healing.

We do as much as we can, but they're 40 mins away and we need to know that we can get support for them.

Would we be eligible for any care from social services?

Will check this later, ironing to do!

[bramblebooks]

... longer term once the house has sold what options would we have? They are not ready for old folks' homes yet, but I'm wondering what other options exist.

[mascarpone]

Hello.

Best place to start would be Help the Aged or Age Concern. THeir websites both have a lot of fact sheets, and I think both can offer advice on what can be done. THey will be able to talk you through what social services can help with.

I don't know much about it, but in terms of social services, I think they have to come and do an assessment first. Again, both Help the Aged and Age Concern have fact sheets which tell you what to expect from the assessment.

Hope this helps. Good Luck with it all.