What do you think about "Young Carers"?

[tombley]

This is not an inflammatory (I hope) thread, rather I would like to ask what you think about young people who have to make sacrifices to help their parents? Personally I think I would not ask my children to help me with care, but I am able bodied and have never had to think about it in depth. I have no knowledge of the provision of care available in the UK but is it ever acceptable for young children to look after their parents and give up their childhood?

[tinymum]

I dont think chidren should ever feel responsible for their parents. Helping out around the house is one thing, but thats very different from running a home and looking after someone who is sick or disabled, when you are just a child yourself.

[edam]

Do you mean children who care for a disabled/physically or mentally ill/addicted or otherwise vulnerable family member? Just written a feature on this and it's shocking how many children are struggling alone to do the job of an adult, and a paid, professional adult, at that. The census suggests there are 175,000 children providing personal care in this country, 13,000 of primary school age and 13,000 working more than 50 hours a week.

I think very few parents sit down and think 'wouldn't it be great if my ds/dd could wipe my bum'. I think families end up in that situation because they are badly let down by health and social services. Partly because many are frightened that if schools/docors/sws find out, the children will be taken away.

Schools treat children as truants, even threatening to take parents to court instead of giving kids free transport (as is their legal duty) - they often only allow disabled children to travel on school buses for free, rather than children of disabled or ill parents, for instance. Health and social workers who support adults don't ask if that adult has dependent children. Every child in this situation is entitled to an assessment of their needs and to have those needs met but few get the help they should have. And even if they are assessed, they may then end up on a waiting list before they get any of the services that are actually the least we can provide.

VIP at the Children's Society told me children are only carers because the person they care for has unmet needs - needs that should be met by professionals.

Every local authority can cite at least one case of a child carer who has killed themselves. That's how badly we are letting these poor kids down.

[Rubyslippers]

i think that many of them do not have a choice. There has been some stuff in the press recently about young carers and it is shocking - they are doing the jobs of profesionals and putting their own health at risk through lifting etc without the proper equipment, lack of sleep and so on

There was an article in the Sunday Time about 3 weeks ago about a young girl caring for her mum - they were basically housebound from when their carer left on a Saturday afternoon until the next carer returned - this case is the tip of a very ignored iceberg

[squashmonster]

I was a young carer for my mum from the age of about 14 it was proper care.
I had no other choice, other than to go into care and my mum in a home.
I have no other family and my dad died when i was 13.
My mum was diagnosed with ms when i was about 10 she has the progressive type so just gets worse, I ave watched her go from a fun young mum to a severly disabled old woman when still shes only 52.
If i couldnt help with my mum what would have happened??

[frascati]

I know that they run a young carers group for our area and was asked if my ds wanted to attend. My dd has a cluster of difficulties (asd/adhd) but her brother is not a carer and never will be. I make his life as normal as possible and would not like him to feel responsible for his sister.
I know everyone/case is different but it's how I feel.