I care for my elderly Grandfather (mid 80s) and I am happy to do so. He's blind and is a bit wobbly on his feet because of it. He's struggling to adapt to old age and the problems that come with it. If I do not visit him he can go weeks without anyone visiting him. He has 4 children. One lives overseas (understandably hard to visit regularly), 1 lives 200miles away and visits every two-three weeks if she doesn't have some important leisure activity to do and two live within a five minute car journey from him. I know they all have their own lives and families but I get so sad and angry that they have put their own father so far down the list of priorities. One of his sons does try to visit once a week but it doesn't take much in the way of something else to do before that gets put off and he doesn't do any cleaning or cooking. I do all the day to day work of taking him shopping, to his many appointments and just keeping him company which he values more than anything else. My partner comes in from work and cooks and cleans for him before we go home to our house and start all over again. My grandfather must be getting sick of the sight of us when he sees no one else. I have my own family and my own health problems so when I'm not taking my grandfather to hospital I'm attending to my own needs and hospital appointments. Fatigue is one of the most disabling symptoms of my autoimmune problem but I have to try to ignore it to help out.
I think it's entirely unreasonable of his own children to make so little an effort. My parent the 200m away one, has tried many times to engage their local siblings to get them more involved but they never do and neither do any of their grown up children, many of whom live nearby - one two streets away! I know when my grandfather dies they'll be first in line to help themselves to possessions and with cap in hand for inheritance and this makes me so angry. I'd rather he gave it all to the charity that has been helping him out - they deserve it so much more. We have been to social services but he told them at assessment it wasn't that bad and that his granddaughter looks after him so they didn't offer the help he really needs like cleaning (he can't see to do it) and just company.
I treasure the time I have with my grandfather and I feel blessed that he shares his stories with me but I also feel so sad that no one is bothering to come and share this. I am so exhausted running about after a reception year child and my grandfather that I feel I no longer have any time for me. I'd hate thinking that in his later life none of his family make any effort. It's breaking his heart & I'm struggling to be civil to them.
There are no questions for this post (unless maybe AIBU?) I just needed to get it out there
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UghMug · 12/08/2015 17:33
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