Help! Dad just moved into Sheltered Accom flat with extra care is refusing care and being aggressive. A meeting has been called for tomorrow, WTF do I do??

SinisterBuggyMonth · 2013-01-08 13:32:43

I thought I'd sorted things after 2 years of battling I finally got my Dad Sheltered Accommodation. He's lived in real mess and squalor. He has a progressive neuro disorder, elements of dementia, parkinsons, depression (don't really want to say the name because theres been some upsetting stuff written about it on mumsnet). We moved him into this lovely place 2 weeks ago, theres a restaurant which is brilliant as he doesn't manage cooking and carers there all the time incase he falls (which he does often). However it was on condition that he accept the help with personal care and cleaning, which he said he would. He hasn't. He is now apparently being verbally aggressive to staff (he has been aggressive to me before, but no one else, I honestly thought he wouldn't to anyone else, feel bloody guilty!) and refusing them entry to the flat. And the flat is turning into a tip very quickly because he doesn't tidy of chuck anything away. Part of the tennancy agreement was that he would keep his flat and the corridor and communal area tidy, which he hasn't. I'm going for a meeting there with the Manager, his Social Worker and Dad tomorrow, however he wont answer the phone to me so I cant even let him know its happening, I asked the carers to let him know. I've no clue what to say, or what will happen. I can't honestly see him changing, his favourite words are "I can't/ I won't" but if he doesn't I don't know what will happen to him. Sorry this is so long, has anyone had experience of this? I'd like to know what the next step is and how to try and ensure Dad stays were he is this time, which is probably the nicest option. And breath.....